Thanks to the change in mentality of the society in which we live, it is more common to meet people who suffer from a personality disorder. However, despite the fact that there is increasing awareness of the existence of these disorders, it is very difficult to find guidelines and recommendations that help us know how to act correctly with these people.
That is why, in this Psychology-Online article, we address the topic how to live with someone with a personality disorder. Where we want to present the different types of existing disorders and how to promote adequate coexistence with them. Facilitating strategies to be able to act when their pathological behavior is present.
What is personality disorder
As defined in the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), a personality disorder is a permanent pattern of internal experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the subject’s culture.
There are a total of ten specific ones grouped into what are known as clusters, which will be discussed later. In addition, three other ungrouped disorders are also described in the manual. These are personality change due to another medical condition, specified personality disorder, and unspecified personality disorder.
The characteristics common to all personality disorders are stable patterns of behavior over time that begin in adolescence or early age and give rise to a discomfort or deterioration in the life of the person who presents it. These characteristics are requirements for the diagnosis of a personality disorder.
How to treat a person with personality disorder
Overall, we cannot give a series of specific recommendations for dealing with someone who suffers from a personality disorder since each person is completely different and may meet a series of diagnostic criteria that others may not.
For this reason, we recommend properly informing ourselves about the person’s personality disorder and speaking with a specialist who can explain to us what traits they have and how we can act correctly regarding their behavior.
It is important to know that personality disorders consist of maladaptive personality traits. That is, the way of thinking, feeling and behaving of people with a personality disorder is not the usual one and causes a lot of discomfort for them. Furthermore, personality is stable, so a person cannot drastically change the way they function from one day to the next. Therefore, personality disorders are not cured as such. However, through psychological therapy You can understand the origin of personality traits, become aware of which ones are beneficial and which are not for oneself and others, and thus learn to regulate them.
Therefore, the three essential things about how to treat a person with personality disorder are:
- Understanding the disorder.
- Support for the person.
- Support for adherence to psychological treatment.
How to live with a cluster
Within this first cluster we find three disorders, where the subjects tend to seem strange or eccentric. These three patterns have as a common point the distrust from which people who suffer from it start. They tend to suffer from constant worry about the world around them.
Paranoid personality disorder
It is characterized by a pattern of distrust and suspicion which causes the intentions of others to be maliciously interpreted.
For those people with a paranoid personality, it is recommended explain carefully what is happening when we feel that they are starting to worry, since they can create conspiracy theories against them. Unlike the other two disorders, there are no delusions in this one, meaning that the issues that concern them could be totally rational and truthful.
Schizoid personality disorder
It consists of a pattern of disconnection from social relationships and restriction of emotional expression.
In the schizoid personality, the disadvantage is that the person who suffers from the disorder is not aware of it, since it does not imply any difficulty in their daily life. They tend to isolate themselves from everything around them to a pathological point, so it is recommended that they progressively be helped to strengthen interpersonal relationships with the people around them, be they family members, co-workers, etc.
Schizotypal personality disorder
Schizotypal personality disorder consists of a pattern of intense discomfort in personal relationships, perceptual distortions and behavioral eccentricities.
In schizoid personality disorder, a pattern of anosognosia is again found, that is, they are not aware of the disorder they suffer from. In these cases, it is recommended that the people who live with them encourage them to see a specialistsince it is possible that they need psychiatric treatment due to the delusions that the disorder can cause.
How to live with a cluster b
Characteristic of this group are those subjects who tend to appear dramatic, emotional or unstable:
These people have the characteristic of being quite regardless of the consequences of their actions, so it is very important set a series of limits on your behavior. This will make you see which of your behaviors can be accepted and which cannot.
Sometimes, people with cluster b personality disorder tend to react by saying hurtful comments as a way of expressing their emotions. Therefore, it is very important that you do not take these comments personally, since it is their form of expression.
Finally, we must know that these people can reach threaten self-harm so that they are allowed to exceed the established limits when there is some act that they want to perform and they are prevented. It is recommended to call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or emergency services, since it is possible that they may engage in such behavior. Here you will find more information about .
How to live with a cluster c
Finally, in this group we find subjects characterized by being anxious or fearful:
- Avoidant personality disorder: pattern social inhibitionfeelings of incompetence and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation.
- Dependent personality disorder: pattern of submissive and clingy behavior related to a excessive need to be cared for.
- Tobsessive-compulsive personality disorder: pattern concern for order, perfectionism and control. Here you will find more information about the .
People included in this group tend to develop . In the first of the disorders, the person’s main behavior is to avoid interacting with new people. In turn, she is constantly worried about her limitations and what the people around her will say about her. It is very appropriate to help them understand and manage your anxiety when they begin to have these thoughts, as well as encouraging them to create new relationships and increase their self-esteem.
A dependent personality has a constant need to receive care from those around them. They tend to be very submissive so the people they live with tend to feel that all decisions fall on them. Since they are afraid of losing those around them, they agree to do whatever is asked of them, so this can put their health and physical integrity at risk in some cases. It is recommended that the people who live with them progressively introduce responsibilities to them. Get out of what is known as your comfort zoneas well as encouraging them to carry out some activities independently, thus promoting an increase in their confidence.
This can be a disorder that makes coexistence quite difficult, since people who suffer from it have three basic needs that they need to fulfill throughout the day, these are: control, security and approval. They need to plan and review everything they do, and they always try to justify their behavior as a pursuit of perfectionism. Since when these people fail to carry out the actions they feel necessary, their anxiety increases, it is recommended that people who live with them try to alleviate their anxiety. To do this, it is very positive to explain to them that nothing is going to happen if they do not comply with the compulsion (impulse or desire to do something) that they suffer from. But always do it from understanding and without judging themsince if they feel attacked their symptoms may increase.
Lastly, due to the difficulty that living with someone who suffers from a personality disorder may entail, regardless of the cluster, it is recommended that people go to a specialist to also be able to express their emotions since that person’s disorder can also affect your emotional state.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- American Psychiatric Association (APA). (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders: DSM-5. Pan-American Medical Publishing House
- Peris, L. (2016). Dual Pathology in Personality Disorders. Barcelona: EdikaMed. Recovered from http://www. edikamedformation. com/cursos/22/pdf/personalidad. pdf.
- Sampietro, L.F., & Buratti, M.A.F. (2012). Borderline personality disorder and self-harming behaviors. Spanish Journal of Legal Medicine, 38(4), 149-154.
- Villa, Elena. “Psychopathology”. Jaume I University. Castellón.