Breaking up with a partner is never an easy task, either because we have become accustomed to the routine that being with that person provides us, because it has become our comfort zone, or because even if we no longer want to continue sharing our life with him or her, her, we continue to have affection and esteem for her. This difficulty increases when we are sharing our daily life with that person.
There are many other decisions that must be taken into account in breakup situations, including finding the best way to deal with the situation or even the doubt of wanting to maintain said relationship for longer even though we supposedly had the decision very clear. For this reason, in the following Psychology-Online article we offer you 10 tips on how to leave your partner living together.
Take the decision
It is important that before “dropping the bomb” you can meditate on the decision you are going to make and Be clear about what you really want, both for you and for the other person. With this we will avoid possible ups and downs that generate greater discomfort. Likewise, this will be the beginning of many other complex decisions.
Don’t avoid facing the problem
Once you are completely sure of your decision, it is important that you take action and prepare to face the problem with determination (with things clear), even with the fear of uncertainty and many other emotions that you may be experiencing at that moment.
Let them know
There is no perfect time to communicate news like this, so if you are clear that you want to leave your partner, simply sit down with him or her and tell him or her.
It is important that, once you have made the decision to leave your partner, you muster up the courage to be able to speak calmly, so that you can express everything you feel clearly and sincerely in order to close this stage.
Express yourself assertively
If you have already made the decision, it is because you are clear, or at least as clear as possible, that there is nothing to fix or change so that the relationship can be maintained, either because one of the parties does not want it or because an attempt has already been made. everything before and you think that it is no longer worth trying.
In any case, this It is not a time to recriminate the other person or make reproaches. about what could have been and was not. On the contrary, when you break up with someone, it is best to use one, focusing the message and what you think, feel or perceive, without blaming the other person for what they may have done or not done.
Lean on your closest environment
It is important that in painful or complicated situations you can feel accompanied and supported by the people you care about, like friends or family. Likewise, also to accompany you in the process if you consider it necessary.
Prepare for his reaction
When we communicate to our partner that we want to leave the relationship, for whatever reason, we must prepare for different scenarios that can occur. He or she may try in every way to keep the relationship going, or we may find that he or she also agrees with our decision and even “we have done them a favor” by saying so first. We may also encounter crying, anger, rage, disbelief or even joy.
There are still many other decisions to be made
In the case of not having children in common, this would give us something to write another article about, breaking a relationship when you are living together involves many other decisions, such as reaching an agreement on who gets what. This may include furniture, clothing, property, pets, money, investments, etc.
Continue living together once you have broken up
When you break up with your partner and are living together, you will most likely have to go through a period of time where you are still living together after breaking up. This can be a very difficult stage, so it is important that you prepare in advance to cope with it. You probably need set some limits and rules as long as this situation persists.
New life project
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been thinking about this decision, nor how long you’ve been with your partner. Surely you had plans for the future together and a life project as a couple and, unless this is the main reason for the breakup, Breaking up involves making a new approach to your life projectsince that person will stop sharing their path with yours.
A period of important reflection is coming, about which it will be important for you to think deeply and without haste about how to direct your life from now on. This is something you can discover over time.
Tell family and friends
This is advice that is often not taken into account in relationship breakups. Nevertheless, The bond we had with our partner was not the only one that had formed, since your boyfriend/girlfriend could also have established a relationship (more or less intimate) with family and friends, and it is even possible that you shared friendships.
When breaking up the relationship, it is important that you keep in mind that you will most likely not have any type of relationship with their family and many of their friends again, since they will have taken the side of one of the parties. In some cases, family and friends may continue to have a relationship with both, however, this is not usual.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Apolinar, S., April 21, 2017. If you live with your partner and plan to end the relationship, you need to take these things into account. Univision. Retrieved from: If you live with your partner and plan to end the relationship, you need to take these things into account | Couples Lifestyle | Univision
- García, F., 2013. Couple breakup, coping and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu., 42-60.
- Mora, V. (no date). Ending a relationship if you still live together – Five keys. Vidalia Mora Poject Manager Digital. Recovered from: End a relationship if you still live together-Five keys | Vidalia Mora