Each of us, at birth, is assigned a biological sex that determines whether we are biologically male or female. Most people identify with their sex and adopt the roles of this sex, the so-called gender. Both implicitly and explicitly, society has determined unwritten norms that tell us that there are things for women and things for men, or things that are for both genders. A clear example of this can be toys or clothes.
Currently, society is moving forward so that these norms that dictate how your behavior should be according to your sex disappear and each person can act with total freedom regardless of their gender. All these changes are brought about by the feminist revolution and with the purpose that everyone is free to express how they feel without being judged for it, as well as favoring a more egalitarian society. After all this brief explanation, we can ask ourselves, what currently happens if a child does not feel like a boy or girl despite the fact that his or her reproductive organ indicates so? That is when we find ourselves facing a case of transgender. In this Psychology-Online article we want to facilitate you signs that may indicate that your son or daughter is transgender.
What is it to be transgender?
What does transgender mean? Transgender boys and girls are those who They do not identify with the biological sex given at birth. The meaning of transgender is that there is no congruence between what the reproductive organs say they are and how the boy or girl feels. In many cases, this dissonance between sex and gender produces discomfort in the person who suffers from it: the so-called .
To explain the entire gender issue in a more understandable way, Sam Kileman designed the “Genderbread Person” this is a tool to explain the differences between experienced gender, gender expression and the gender assigned at birth. The scheme would be like this:
- The gender identity or gender experienced would respond to the brain (woman, genderqueer or man). In this article you will find.
- The sexual orientation would respond to the heart (heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual). Here you can see the .
- The sexual expression would respond to the whole body (female, male or neither)
- He biological sex to the reproductive organs (female, intersex or male)
How can I detect that my child is transgender?
There are different actions, behaviors and verbalizations that can indicate that our son or daughter does not agree with the given sex. Here is how to identify a transgender boy or girl:
- Boys and girls with a strong desire to dress like the opposite sex and resistance to dressing in clothing that is conferred to their gender.
- clear preference for opposite sex roles in imitation or fantasy games.
- They prefer toys or activities assigned to the other sex. For example, princess toys for children.
- Strong preference for colleagues of the other gender.
- Rejection to everything that is assigned to your biological sex. They avoid everything that is considered their gender: toys, activities, behaviors.
- They don’t like their own sexual anatomyin boys aversion to the penis and in girls to the vulva.
- Desire to have sexual characteristics of the other gender.
- In the event that they are already teenagers, we also observe the rejection of secondary characters (boobs, pubic hair, voice change, etc.).
- Desire to be treated like a person of the other gender.
- All these features are present for at least 6 months.
- Sex-gender incongruence produces discomfort in the boy/girl or adolescent.
- There’s a deterioration in social and school life or other areas that are important to the child due to that incongruence.
Why are transgender children born?
The reasons why a person is born in a body that does not feel like their own are still unknown, however, there are some hypotheses about biological factors that can provide an explanation for the reason for this dissonance between sex and how the person feels.
In our anatomy, men and women present small differences at the brain level, on many occasions, due to the different hormones we secrete. Years ago, to study sexual dimorphism, a study was carried out with male and female rodents where it was observed that a nucleus of the brain (bed nucleus of the stria terminalis) was larger or smaller depending on the testosterone levels. That means that the core in men will be larger than in women. From here, it was extracted that people who present gender dysphoria have that core more similar to the opposite sex.
This hypothesis shows that in transgender people there could be a function in terms of hormone segregation that is more similar to that of the opposite sex. It should be noted that it is only a hypothesis, and that to date there is no known exact cause of what may cause the non-concordance.
How can I help my trans son and daughter?
It is normal for mothers and fathers with transgender children to want to know how to help a transgender child or adolescent. Below, we leave some basic guidelines to help a transgender son or daughter:
- Freedom to express. It makes it easier for your son or daughter to express in her home how she truly feels, allowing her to develop the identity that he or she wants. Try not to deny her playing with masculine games, if she is a girl, or vice versa, as well as favor the clothing she wants.
- Information and training. One of the things that can help at the family level, sometimes, is to understand more about gender and its complexity, for this it may be useful to form or look for an association that provides the necessary support to families and therefore to boys and girls. transgender.
- Communication. It is important that your child feels that his home is a space where he can communicate freely, express his concerns and discomfort as well as his joys. To do this, it is important not to judge and empathize with him or her.
- Positive reinforcement. Today, despite the cultural changes that are being made, it is true that the transgender group belongs to a minority social group and is sometimes the object of ridicule, misunderstanding or rejection, which is why it is important that at home they receive an environment with maximum possible reinforcement.
- Psychological Support. It is important that the person who presents this gender incongruence can have an external figure with whom to share their concerns and needs and who can give them certain tools that help manage the possible discomfort arising from the dissonance.
- Exploration environment. Try to allow your son or daughter to experience their sexuality as unconditionally as possible, so that they can better understand which one best suits them.
- Normalization of the situation. To the extent that it is possible in the family environment, it would be good to be able to experience that a family member is transgenic as normally as possible, making it easier for them to express themselves and not dismiss it as something “rare”, but rather natural.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
Bibliography
- Lawrence, A. A. (2010). Sexual orientation versus age of onset as bases for typologies (subtypes) for gender identity disorder in adolescents and adults. Archives of Sexual Behavior39(2), 514-545.
- Marantz, S., & Coates, S. (1991). Mothers of boys with gender identity disorder: a comparison of matched controls. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry30(2), 310-315.
- Mazur, T. (2005). Gender dysphoria and gender change in androgen insensitivity or micropenis. Archives of sexual behavior34(4), 411-421.