I wish there was an effective manual for a broken heart, in the meantime, all the advice provided by experts on the subject works to put together your own.
What do you do when a relationship ends?
There are those who make the decision to seek happiness in small things or in accumulating moments with those closest to youothers decide drown your sorrows in rumba, alcohol and new lovessome take advantage of free time to go to the gym or take a course, and another group focuses on allow yourself to feel everything that may come and take a social break.
Is any action correct? Everyone discovers it on the path to healing. In fact, it is possible for a person to pass through each of them at different times during the tour. It’s completely normal.
Jo Hemmings, behavioral psychologist and relationship expert, explains to the that this state, in which one feels heartbroken, is a devastating emotional loss with a common denominator: intense feeling of sadness and grief, and the overwhelming feeling that we will never be able to overcome the pain.
Add; in addition to “In terms of the brain, the areas that register physical pain are activated in the same way as with real pain and can also generate withdrawal symptoms, very similar to those suffered by drug addicts.“.
In this case, the withdrawal symptoms are a real challenge because the temptation is around to call or write to come back and try one more time. In this way, the person goes through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
How to recover?
At this point, many wish to have the magic recipe so that pain, uncertainty, sadness, nostalgia and so on cease to exist.
Many experts address the topic and provide close and accurate advice, we will share some of them.
A series of studies have analyzed what really happens when our hearts are broken and how we can handle that pain. For example, the Journal of Experimental Psychology published one where the effectiveness of three coping strategies was investigated:
- Think about bad things of your ex.
- Accept and take charge of feelings of love for your ex-partner.
- Distract yourself with good thoughts that have nothing to do with your ex.
Although no strategy is perfect, all three served to reduce participants’ emotional response to their exes, so it’s okay to combine them to start. Can you do the exercise?
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On the other hand, Relationship expert Dee Holmes suggests another good way to start.
- “Give yourself time to wallow (in it). I don’t think it’s unreasonable to take a day off from work. “If you’re in shock, it may be the safest thing to do, depending on your job.”
- “Talk to your friends and keep a diary of how you feelbut don’t let that dominate your life and don’t make hasty decisions.
- If you lived with him or her, “you may think you can’t live in that same house, but uOnce you move things around and paint the walls, you may feel like you can stay.“.
Hemmings recommends:
- Stop following your ex on social media: “delete or erase everything that triggers painful memories, such as photos, texts, etc. It sounds drastic, but it helps to heal.”
- “Don’t call or text him, especially at night. Write drafts and then delete them, or write what you feel in a private place. “Don’t follow him or check what he’s doing.”
A video of personal coaching called ‘How to forget about someone’ says that We don’t have to convince ourselves that we never liked him, but rather analyze what it was that we didn’t like about that person.. Then ask yourself: Would it be possible to find these qualities in a future partner?
To read:
Accept that the ex-partner is not perfect and? some characteristics, which are not attractive, could be found in different people is an important step. The theory that “there are many fish in the sea” does not have much force in the first stage. So avoid that thought.
Combining all the aforementioned recommendations will allow you to heal the wound in a more peaceful way. What comes next is a matter of time, according to another study, It may take about three months (11 weeks, to be precise) to feel more positive about the separation; However, we know that it is a personal reflection that will take the time it needs.
If you need the help of a mental health professional in this process, do not hesitate to contact us through a call or a message via WhatsApp at 333 033 35 88.