Matters of the heart are complex. When you are in love, you want to share your life with that person. However, you can experience the paradox of observing how your ex, that special someone with whom you have shared a period of your history, has rebuilt his life. However, you still feel love. In a situation of this type, courage is inherent to the heart since, beyond the fear of rejection or doubts, listening to that feeling, instead of silencing it, is a vital choice.
That does not mean that the idea of getting your ex back is always the most appropriate since, if you observe clear symptoms of indifference on their part, it is important that you respect their attitude and, also, that you avoid unnecessary suffering. But if the doubt and the hope of being reciprocated still remain in you, perhaps you will consider this option. “How to get my ex back if he is with someone else?”if you ask yourself this question in Psychology-Online we reflect on this question.
Cultivate friendship after a relationship
You can maintain a bond of friendship with your ex but do not go to the point of becoming a confidant in their love story, but in the form of close communication. Still, it is important that you take your time after the breakup to reflect on the mistakes made and learn from them.
In this way, if you both resume the relationship at some point, you will not start from scratch, it is a good way to keep in touch with your ex. You can reflect on what aspects you don’t like about yourself (behaviors, attitudes and gestures) when you remember that moment. From this perspective, you can build your best version.
Don’t criticize your new partner
If you want to win back your ex, then do not enter into the psychological game of comparing yourself with that person with whom you now share your life. Also avoid criticism. Even if you want your ex back, that doesn’t give you the right to make someone . If you want to make him fall in love with you, you have to do it from yourself. That is, don’t measure your light or your charisma in comparison to anyone else.
Perhaps, if you remember what made your partner fall in love with you in the first stage of the relationship, this can help you connect with that emotional state. If the desire to make him fall in love with you has something to do with the fear of losing him permanently due to the fact that you are in a relationship, reflect on whether your feelings are deep, regardless of the circumstances. That is, if your partner broke up the relationship tomorrow; Would you continue feeling the same and with this level of involvement?
How to win him back if he is with someone else
Your desire to win him back can make you impatient as you want immediate results. However, keep in mind that to redirect the situation, if it is really possible, you need time. Time to show him what your feelings are through your actions. Without a doubt, being constant through facts requires an effort that transcends words themselves.
But, furthermore, you also need this time to be really sure of what you feel. It is advisable that, despite being clear about your goals, you do not concentrate all your vital energy on this aspect. It is essential that you continue with your life in terms of friendship, work, family, self-care and leisure time. This way, if you end up not being able to achieve your desire, you will feel more prepared to face reality.
Manage the relationship and control interest in your ex
Let your ex miss you and want to hear from you. If you constantly take the initiative in contact, you do not leave room to discover if he is only limited to responding to your interactions or, on the contrary, also takes the initiative to seek you out. Although telephone contact helps maintain a frequency of communication, it is equally important to make in-person plans.
Love is not a mathematical equation, neither does the seduction process. Most likely, you will find your answers in the rhythm of your own life. For example, it is recommended that you listen to your feelings. There may come a time when you prefer to openly express the truth in your heart, to obtain a definitive answer.
At that moment, express everything that is important to you. Don’t be left with any pending ideas. This action plan is temporary. That is, your purpose is not to be your ex’s best friend, but to win him over. For this reason, if his feelings are not on this line, then you need to distance yourself to grieve. It will be easier for you to face that moment if you are calm after having said everything you felt and having discovered what the answer is.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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