It is common to think that you need to find the ideal person to have a perfect relationship, however, Aaron Ben-Zeév, considered one of the world’s leading experts in the study of emotions, questions this approach. Interestingly, for the Israeli author two imperfect people can form a perfect romantic relationship.
Finding someone to have a long-term relationship with can be very challenging and is often not easy. If you want to know how to find a stable partnerin the following Psychology-Online article we will give you 20 important tips that will help you achieve this.
Don’t project past hurts
You may be looking for a stable relationship because the people you fell in love with in the past didn’t feel the same as you, they cheated on you, they broke your heart, etc. In any case, it is clear that they hurt you and that fear of suffering again accompanies you when you start to know another person, and you even attribute similar characteristics of your previous partner.
This is problematic, since you do not judge that person by their behaviors, but by those of your ex-partner. In this way, instead of giving you the opportunity to get to know this new person openly and without prejudiceyou are conditioned and you transfer your wound from the past to the future.
The new person may not be the right fit, but they deserve a chance for you to at least see it through their own actions. If it isn’t, you can always break off the relationship and allow yourself to be happy in a new relationship.
Have a positive attitude
If you want to find a stable partner, show your best in an honest and genuine way. Tell the truth when they ask you a question. Worry less about being judged and more about acting like who you are. Don’t try to manipulate your date with mind games to make him more interested in you, or try to please him by pretending to be someone you’re not to impress him.
If you feel like you don’t want to go on a second date with the person, do your best to enjoy the moment. Treat the person with respect and kindness, even if you never see them again they deserve decent treatment.
Physical appearance is not everything
Physical appearance is often the first step in selecting a romantic partner, as it works as an initial magnet that draws you closer to the person. We cannot deny its importance. In fact, there is scientific research that has found a bias in favor of beauty in which we tend to think that attractive people have positive personality traits, they are happier, they have better relationships, their lives are more exciting, with more purpose and meaning.
However, these are attributions that have no empirical basis or support. It is true that thanks to the physical appearance it is more likely to get a date, but that does not guarantee you connecting with someone deeply. Remember that a stable relationship is built by the emotional bond created between two people, which includes personality, character, common objectives, shared moments and many other factors.
Trust yourself
For people who want to find love more than anything in the world, it can be especially difficult to remain single, especially if all their friends are already in a relationship or married. Feeling alone or sad is natural and it is healthy to give space to these emotions, but There is no person who can fill all the voids you feel in your life.. This is not love nor are they the right reasons to be in a relationship.
Part of loving yourself is spending time alone and finding ways to be happy with your life without needing to have a partner. Pursue the things you want in life, take care of your physical, emotional and financial well-being, etc. He is a sign of emotional stability and, in addition, it is an extremely attractive characteristic that will make you feel even better when that special person arrives.
Plus, if you feel miserable being alone, it will be too easy for you to get hooked on the first person you meet. This doesn’t mean that you have to be 100% satisfied with yourself, or that you don’t have small insecurities and that you have to be perfect to have a healthy relationship. It’s not like that, but you can’t wait for your partner to fill each and every one of your voids, insecurities and fears.
Understand what you are looking for in a relationship
It is important to be aware of what you really want and are looking for in a relationship, not only to reject what does not fit you, but to recognize it when you find it. What qualities are you looking for in a partner? Think about the things you want most in terms of company, children, financial stability, a strong social network, success, living up to your principles, enjoyment, etc.
Sternberg points out that to find a stable partner it is necessary to go deeper and discover what you are looking for in a relationship. in terms of intimacy, passion and commitment. Other aspects to take into account when choosing your partner are your attitude towards relationships (e.g. casual relationship/exclusivity), family values (e.g. offspring yes or no), personality (e.g. sense of humor) and social sphere (e.g. . go out with friends).
Cultivate your friendships
Your friends will support you when you find someone you like and help you when you feel alone. Therefore, it is important take care of the friends you have. Keep the social commitments you make, reciprocate favors, and show your appreciation. Plus, it’s hard to be attractive if you’re alone and desperate for company. In this article you will find information about.
Don’t be afraid to expose yourself
The more you go out and socialize, the more likely you are to find someone you like. Many couples meet in college or graduate school, as these are places where you spend a lot of time and share interests. If you have already finished your studies, try taking classes in topics that interest you, such as cooking, foreign languages, dance, or business.
How to find a stable partner? Don’t be afraid of attend social events, meetings with friends, taking classes and doing activities, etc. You won’t be able to find a partner if you don’t put yourself out there and are willing to create opportunities. It is also possible to find someone in the workplace without breaking any company rules. At work, people spend much more time with their colleagues than with anyone else.
Currently, another widespread way to find a partner is through websites, dating applications and social networks. Internet has become one of the easiest ways to find a partner, since it gives you access to a multitude of possible candidates. Find out in this article.
Additionally, on dating apps you can select people based on common interests and other important qualities. Even if you are reluctant to this option, you can give it a try. If it doesn’t work or it’s not for you, you lose nothing as you can always delete your account.
Be receptive
How to meet new people? In the previous section we have mentioned several scenarios that promote opportunities to find a partner at 30, 40 or at any age. Even so, the attitude you have in these situations is essential to establishing a relationship.
The person you might be dating can approach you at any time, so don’t turn your back on them. Open yourself to the possibility that love can arise almost anywhere. If you have a receptive attitude, more people will be willing to want to meet you.
Invite people out
If you meet someone you like, ask them out in person. Ask him directly so he knows what you want and can give you a concrete answer. One way to minimize the discomfort that can come with it is ask for it at the exit of the place where you are. When leaving the event or establishment, you can tell the person that you enjoyed their company and that you would like to see them again.
If you’re too shy to ask someone out in person, you can send them a message or contact them on social media. In this article, we tell you.
Share interests
Common interests are a good starting point, as they will give you opportunities for a first date in which you can both enjoy and get to know each other in a favorable environment. If you are both interested in something, you can do it together and see how it works.
Although your date does not have to share all your tastes, the interests that you both have in common can make the relationship prosper. If you have something important going on in your life, you may want to include your future partner.
Make an appointment
Dates don’t always have to be dinner, wine, and eye contact. If you want to find a partner, plan something that you feel most comfortable with. Next, we give you any ideas:
- Drink coffee.
- Take a walk in a park.
- Visit an exhibition at a local museum.
- Attend a concert.
- Invite him to a party.
If you get nervous alone with your date, try going out in a group. You can invite him to a party or other social event. Don’t assume that you won’t enjoy a new place or activity. Say yes to the ideas your date proposes if they seem interesting to you.
Don’t spend all your time worrying about whether your date would be a good match or not. Instead, focus on the conversation, meet the person and have a good time in your company. In this article you will see.
Take it easy
It is important to respect the times and take things slowly. If you want to find a stable partner, you need to enjoy the process of falling in love. Even if you have wanted to get married since you were little, don’t rush into committing to someone on the second date.
Give the relationship time for it to consolidate. Even if the person you just met has many qualities, and you have a very intense connection and attraction, you have to keep in mind that you still don’t know them well enough nor have you had time to know what a stable relationship with that person would be like.
A solid relationship is not based only on attraction, but on creating a life project together, overcoming ups and downs hand in hand and envisioning a life of happiness with that person. All of that takes time, so focus on enjoying the present.
Experiment with different people
Some people meet their “better half” very young, even when they are teenagers, but it is usually quite unusual. In fact, most people don’t marry their first, second, or even third partner. Dating more people allows you to understand the different ways a relationship can work.
Although you should not get rid of the person you love just to test the waters with third parties, if you are not sure it is better be open to experiment. If you commit to the first person you’ve ever met without giving anyone else a chance, you may spend the rest of your life wondering what other options would have been like.
Have experience will help you be even safer that what…