How to CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY – The Keys

The change in some personality trait can be motivated by different needs, but is this possible? Can an aggressive person become peaceful; bold instead of timid; open rather than reserved; kind instead of ruthless, etc.?

In this Psychology-Online article we will see If you can change your personality and how to do it.

Can personality be changed?

Can a person change their personality traits? To address this issue, it is necessary to focus on the factors identified as constituting personality: the biological and psychological structure, that is, distinguishing between “what I am” (my potential abilities) and how this Self manifests itself in relationships with the environment (my character), as it allows us to elucidate what I can change. However, the environmental factor must also be taken into account since personality traits manifest themselves in response to environmental stimuli.

As you can read in the following article about the , the innate predispositions and tendencies towards certain behaviors are fixed by the biological structure of the person, which is marked by their genome, therefore, it will not be possible to change them unless this structure or its functions are modified (for example, suffering a brain tumor or trauma, such as the well-known case of Phileas Gage). In these cases, a radical change in personality occurs.

Instead, yes it is possible to modify the expression of the features although innate predispositions remain unchanged. Since traits are manifested through actions that are a consequence of thoughts, feelings, and motivations, if the way you think, feel, or act changes and this change is maintained over time, so will the expression of the traits. In this aspect, it has been shown that traumatic events represent a drastic change in the personal sphere and can affect the psychological structure (grief, aggression, separation, unemployment, serious illness, abandonment, etc.) producing changes in the composition of the group of personality traits (some traits disappear and/or new ones appear).

It is observed, for example, that an initially peaceful and tolerant person can become aggressive, distrustful and intolerant after having suffered a traumatic physical attack. In physiological terms it can be said that we cannot change the structure of the neural networks established during the stages of a person’s development (the connectome), but we can we may modify the way we process information that runs through them, adding new neural connections and deactivating others. Therefore, personality changes throughout life, it is molded by lived experiences and learning.

How to change your personality

The procedure that we can use to eliminate an inappropriate trait and replace it with another is to modify the instructions of the mental program that generates it to introduce changes in the way of thinking, in moral values ​​and in motivations. It would involve modifying the “source code” that serves to build said program (knowledge, beliefs, values, traditions, social norms, etc.) with the aim of establishing and consolidating the desired trait. This work requires that the person’s psychological resources provide a good level of competence in the following faculties:

  • Intelligence to understand one’s own reality and that of the environment and mental flexibility to admit that there are other ways of seeing reality and be willing to study them.
  • Capacity of regulation And control of emotions and impulses to adapt their expression depending on the circumstances. Here you will find more information about it.
  • Motivation to generate satisfactory life expectations based on the new traits and carry out the changes required for this.

The importance of the environment in personality change

In addition to these faculties, an important factor to favor the modification of a trait is to pay attention to the environment in which our life develops (family, social, work and cultural). Interested in relating to environments that facilitate change, that is, they provide positive reinforcement for the trait that you want to consolidate, or negative reinforcement if what you want is to eliminate it. For example, an initially shy and distrustful person can “deactivate” that trait if they live with optimistic and determined people and learn to behave in a spirited and determined way, which will gradually transfer the trait from introversion to extroversion; Likewise, a person with a tendency to aggressive responses will not manifest this behavior if he manages to avoid the hostile environment that stimulates him to do so.

In this regard, it would be useful to find out what kind of environmental stimuli (the so-called “environmental markers”) are those that cause the manifestation of the unwanted trait to be avoided, for example, a stressful situation, a difficult interpersonal relationship, a conflictive family environment, etc.; and in the opposite direction, look for those that motivate the desired behavior: stimulating challenges and creative initiatives that promote self-esteem, social work, search for new experiences, etc.

Changing personality is not immediate

Finally, highlight that Changing your personality voluntarily is not an easy task.especially in the traits in which predominates the one that, depending on the autonomic nervous system makes it very difficult to control.

Furthermore, some people are usually reluctant to change it, either because they do not know themselves and do not accept the negative traits that others attribute to them, or because the traits have become so consolidated that this would mean losing their identity, it would be like losing their Self. , stop being who they think they are (usually happens when this change is essential for success in the workplace).

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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Bibliography

  • Buss, A.H. & Plomin, R. (1984). Temperament: Early Developing Personality Traits. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
  • Eysenck, H. (1970). Biological bases of personality. Barcelona. Fontanella
  • Gray, J. A. (1970). The psychophysiological basis of introversion-extraversion. Behavior Research and Therapy.
  • McCrae, R. and Costa, P (2003) Personality in Adulthood: A Five-factor Theory Perspective. Guilford Press.
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