According to statistics, the erectile dysfunction It affects approximately 1 in 5 men. It is defined as the inability to achieve and maintain an erection. Its causes can be very diverse, both physical (heart disease, hypertension, diabetes…) and psychological (depression, anxiety, stress…).
It can be a difficult situation to handle for the person suffering from it, and also for their partner. However, for this same reason, it may be best to address it precisely with your partner, the person who can best provide the necessary support in bad times.
How does erectile dysfunction affect sexual life?
Erectile dysfunction or sexual impotence is more prevalent among men over 40 years of age, although it can occur at any age. To be considered as such, there must be a period of more than 3 months during which there are problems achieving or maintaining an erection.
The problem affects both the man and his partner, since it often prevents them from having a full sexual life.
As far as men are concerned, after a bad experience and if there is no associated physical cause, an irrational fear of failure may develop, causing loss of erection. This fear of failing can undermine self-confidence and seriously affect self-esteem.
Some guidelines to treat the problem of erectile dysfunction with your partner
Find the right moment
Preferably, when you are relaxed, during a walk, dinner, etc. These can be good times to address the problem (of which your partner is already aware) and state that you need their support, professional help, etc.
Make your love and attraction clear
Assure your partner of the love and physical and personal attraction you feel for them. That is not the cause of the dysfunction, but circumstances that are beyond your control.
Avoid looking for blame
Nobody’s fault. Neither your partner nor you are to blame for the situation you are going through. When the cause is physical, due to illnesses, it makes no sense to suggest that the person suffering from the dysfunction is to blame, but neither does it make sense if it involves emotional problems.
Listen to what your partner has to say
The goal is to build a constructive and creative dialogue to find solutions. It is essential that your partner expresses himself and shares his sensations and feelings about your sexual life and how to manage the problem together.
What are the next steps to take together?
Don’t just talk about what has happened so far, look to the future. Discuss the steps you need to follow to control the situation so that it does not interfere with your relationship. Now you are a team in this and you can share alternatives for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.
It doesn’t have to be the end of your sex life
If you have the support of your partner and resort to the appropriate treatment, whatever the nature of your problem, it is possible to manage erectile dysfunction and enjoy sexual relations. Fortunately, there are different possibilities so that you can reactivate or rethink your sexual life and live it fully.
Some considerations about sex without an erection
Traditionally, our culture has established some erroneous, and we could say even unhealthy, sexual beliefs. For example, that the man is absolutely responsible for the sexual satisfaction of the couple, that there cannot be sex without intercourse, or that an erection is essential to enjoy sex (as long as a man participates, of course). That is to say, it seems that all our sexual activity should revolve around the penis.
The reality is that there are many ways to enjoy sex, and many possibilities. Understanding this can be truly therapeutic for many men who do not have physical problems, and whose erectile dysfunction is related to the fear of failing or not measuring up. As soon as you can relax, downplay it, and enjoy your relationship without obsessing over your own erection, your problem will disappear.
Therefore, it is also very important to work on sexual health and self-esteem in this area to solve this disorder.
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