In other articles we have talked about the concept of attachment and the following: secure attachment, ambivalent anxious attachment, avoidant attachment and disorganized attachment.
In this article we are going to stop at the last of them, the disorganized attachment and its consequences in adulthood. This is the attachment style in which the bond between the caregiver and the child is most threatening and destabilizing, therefore the one that offers the worst prognosis.
Characteristics of disorganized attachment
In this attachment style, the child is raised in a hostile environment, characterized by aggressiveness and threat, lack of respect, physical and psychological abuse. It is an experience sustained over time that causes a great imbalance in the child.
In this type of bond, the child becomes victim. At the same time, being an absolutely dependent person, you need to approach the caregiver despite being aware that they are going to harm you.
Consequently, the characteristics that usually define a child with this attachment style are the following:
- Fear of the caregiver
- Fear of exploring your environment: for fear of being hurt or making mistakes for which they may be punished.
- Dissociation: loss of contact with reality, developed as a defense mechanism to avoid pain.
- Hypervigilance: develops constant alert to avoid attacks or threatening situations.
- Cognitive disordersDeficits in attention, memory and concentration, post-traumatic stress, poor verbal expression are common…
- Low self-esteem: They are children with a feeling of guilt, who believe they deserve the punishments they receive.
If we consider attachment as a continuum, disorganized attachment is at the opposite pole of secure attachment.
Consequences of disorganized attachment in adult life
In adult life, the attachment style experienced in childhood is reflected. They are people who usually have difficulty identifying the emotions of otherswho can live convinced that they have been and continue to be bad people who deserved that treatment.
Likewise, based on their experience, they can normalize aggression and violence in relationships between people, in the belief that sooner or later they themselves will be attacked. In this way, they become more difficult to establish quality intimate relationships.
In short, we meet people not at all empathetic or respectful of their peers (they never had a model of respect or received treatment like that), who do not understand their obligations or rights within society. They are prone to emotional disorders such as depression and anxiety and addictions that they resort to to cope with their bad childhood experience.
Therapy Goals for Disorganized Attachment
The person who has suffered this disorganized attachment style is convinced that is going to be attacked. Therefore, you need to repair the damage to trust others.
The goal of therapy is to offer you a space of security and trust to be able to identify ideas and feelings, your own and others. Likewise, you must learn to generate resources in the face of adverse events other than violence or dissociation.
The negative and harmful image of the world can be replaced by one in which they can feel safe and in control, without resorting to aggression or violence in their relationships.
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