Narcissists have the ability to manipulate and control their partners and manifest this in various ways, such as constant devaluation, silence, unfavorable comparisons, ignoring the needs of the other. For all these reasons, being with a narcissistic person can be a very difficult emotional challenge to overcome.
In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you how narcissists punish in love and romantic relationships. We present eight strategies that they use to exert their destructive influence in order to empower people who suffer from this problem, as well as provide them with the necessary tools to recognize and confront these toxic dynamics.
emotional manipulation
If you want to know how narcissists punish, the first thing you should know is that they are masters at subtle emotional manipulation. They manage to confuse their partners through gestures, ambiguous expressions and sudden changes in attitude. They develop a psychological game that can gradually undermine self-esteem of the person.
This way, induce feelings of guilt and doubt, causing the couple to begin to question their perception of reality. By eroding her self-confidence, the narcissist increases his control and power in the relationship, keeping the partner in a constant state of.
Constant devaluation
Narcissists in their relationship make use of constant criticism and devaluation. Through negative comments about their partners’ achievements and qualities, they seek to undermine your self-confidence. This process gradually erodes the other’s self-image, generating doubts about their abilities and worth.
By reducing the partner’s self-esteem, the narcissist seeks to establish firmer control and maintain emotional dependence. The constant devaluation creates an environment of insecurity in which the partner feels unable to make decisions without the approval of the narcissist.
Silence
A narcissist also acts through silence and emotional withdrawal from passive-aggressive punishment tools. When the couple faces a conflictive situation or expresses their needs, the narcissist withdraws emotionally and refuses to participate in communication.
This tactic creates anxiety in the couple, who begins to question his own behavior and desperately seeks the narcissist’s approval and attention. Silence and withdrawal create an environment of uncertainty and manipulation, allowing the narcissist to maintain indirect control over the relationship and keep their partner in a constant state of insecurity. In this situation, we recommend you read this article about .
Psychological manipulation
Narcissists are experts at playing with their partners’ minds through psychological manipulations. They use ambiguity, contradictions and insinuations to create a terrain of constant confusion. To the sow doubt and confusionseek to undermine the couple’s self-confidence and keep them in a state of submission.
This tactic creates an emotional dependency on the narcissist, as the partner feels obligated to meet his or her changing demands. Mind games lead to a cycle of control and disorientation that can be difficult to break.
Unfavorable comparisons
When in doubt about how narcissists punish in love, you should know that another technique they use is to constantly compare the couple with others to generate insecurities. Whether it’s comparing physiques, achievements or qualitiesthe narcissist seeks to highlight supposed deficiencies in the couple.
These constant comparisons generate a feeling of inadequacy and they create an environment where the couple feels constantly in competition. Self-image deteriorates as the couple strives to meet unattainable standards. In this way, the narcissist maintains control of the relationship.
They ignore the needs of the couple
Narcissists often choose to systematically ignore the emotional and physical needs of their partners. Through this tactic, generate frustration and isolation in the relationship. Ignoring your partner’s expressions of need or desire reinforces the idea that only the narcissist’s needs are relevant.
This manipulation can lead the partner to feel that their emotions and needs are not valid, which encourages a submission dynamics and emotional dependence.
They mix praise and criticism
If you wonder how narcissists treat their partners, you should know that one of their tactics is to alternate praise and criticism to keep them emotionally unbalanced. By praising occasionally, they generate a feeling of security and satisfaction in the couple. However, they quickly turn to criticism, undermining self-esteem and confidence.
This emotional oscillation confuses the partner and makes them depend on moments of praise to feel valuable. The emotional dependence intensifies, allowing the narcissist to maintain control and perpetuate a toxic dynamic of manipulation. If this happens to you, we recommend reading this article about .
Punishment by abandonment
Threatening to leave the relationship frequently or abruptly is a tactic that explores the couple’s deepest fears. By manipulating the , the narcissist induces the partner to give in to his demands and accommodate your wishes. This strategy generates a constant feeling of insecurity and undermines the self-esteem of the partner, who may feel that she needs to do everything possible to avoid abandonment.
Recognizing and addressing a relationship with a narcissistic person can be a complicated process but essential to your emotional well-being. Trust your intuition and observe behavioral patterns. If you constantly feel insecure, questioned, or manipulated, it’s important to pay attention to these signs.
We recommend that you consult our articles about and how their actions can impact your emotional and mental life. If you suspect that you are in a relationship with a narcissistic person, do not hesitate to talk to someone and seek help if necessary.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Echeburúa, E., and Amor, PJ (2016). Men who are violent against their partners: Do they have a mental disorder and require psychological treatment? Psychological Therapy, 34(1), 31-40. https://doi.org/10.4067/s0718-48082016000100004
- Filippe, H. (2023). How narcissists punish – Learn to identify it. hugofilippe.com. https://hugofilippe.com/como-castigan-los-narcisistas-guia-definitiva-para-identificadorlo/#:~:text=El%20narcisista%20castiga%20para%20reequilibrar,golpe%20when%20se%20siente%20injured.
- Paul, I., and Bailey, M. (2022). How to choose a quality man: Keys to choosing and loving the right man without fear. Ildefonso Paul.