From a biological point of view, human beings are polygamous, partly due to a survival instinct to prevent the extinction of the species. In fact, monogamy would be an evolutionary trait. On the other hand, history has made it clear that polygamy has existed since the beginning of time. It is governed by different regulations depending on the civilization, not limited to favoring one gender or another.
However, having evolved and developed the neocortex, people now have the ability to handle abstract concepts such as ethics, morality, commitment, among others. That would change the rules of the game and would be the opportunity to demonstrate this evolution through the practice of concepts such as monogamy. In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the keys to know how long does a loving relationship last.
Causes of having a lover
The causes of having a lover, as well as the consequences, vary depending on each person and each couple. Generally, it is believed that it is Lack of love, of fidelity, neglect of one of the members of the couple or because it is a lifestyle. Although there could be a little of each, science has studied human behavior in terms of love and, although there may or may not be between a couple of lovers, falling in love is present in romantic relationships outside of marriage.
In this process, logical abilities are biased, so being fully aware of the lack at the beginning of a monogamous relationship is complicated. Daniel Goleman suggests that human beings We have “two minds”, one emotional and the other rational.which would help to understand an individual does not seem to notice that he acts according to his emotions without paying attention to what is rationally logical.
On the other hand, Dr. Esther Perel proposes that the issue of infidelity or looking for a lover rather involves an intrinsic conflict. Thus, the reason why infidelity is resorted to would not have to do with the partner one has or having the intention of hurting him/her, but with the particular and personal reasons of the person seeking a third party. Among the reasons that would drive the individual are the desire to rediscover, rethink who you are or how you perceive yourself. Discover the.
Consequences of having a lover
As for the consequences of having a lover, they are very varied, since it affects morally, emotionally and socially, to different degrees. Although having a lover will not necessarily end the formal relationship, as long as the couple decides to work on it, it puts them at risk.
Furthermore, apart from the repercussions on the social environment, one may experience a internal moral and ethical conflict. Generally, regardless of the context, people tend to evaluate these types of situations and judge them harshly. In this article, we answer the following question:
How long does falling in love last between lovers?
How long does a loving relationship last? This is not something that science has determined, especially when it comes to relationships outside of the marital context. Even so, in general terms, it has been established that the falling in love stage lasts, approximately two years. This is the first stage when talking about romantic relationships. During the period of falling in love, neurotransmitter segregation and psychological and social factors interact creating the experience of falling in love. In this article, you will find more information about .
On the one hand, for a person to establish a relationship as lovers, there must be attraction and characteristics of the other between the two. This is the basis of falling in love, which is not love but a time in which the other person’s defects are not so obvious and all their virtues stand out. In other words, even when there is falling in love, it It is not a guarantee that there is love between lovers.
So why do we fall in love? In the following video, we tell you why we fall in love with one person and not another. We will reveal why we fell in love with someone, taking into account pheromones and hormones.
When does a loving relationship end?
A relationship between lovers can last as much as both people want. There is no period that determines it. Furthermore, there are a variety of factors that influence the duration of an extramarital relationship. Each factor depends on the particular character of the people involved. When this type of relationship ends, it may be more difficult for one person to forget about the other. Discover .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- García, M. (2006). Falling in love as a necessity. UANL Science. Vol. 9. (001). 5-9.
- Goleman, D. (2001). Emotional intelligence. Mexico. Vergara Publishing
- Perel, Esther. (2015). Rethinking infidelity… a talk for anyone she has ever loved. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=es