Alcoholism is a problem that not only affects the person who suffers from alcohol addiction, it also poses a problem for the circle of family and friends who try to understand what is happening.
In this Psychology-Online guide, we will offer Guidance for family members and therapeutic steps to help the alcoholic. This article was originally designed by the author to be given to the family of the alcoholic patient. We hope that this article can help you as a guide, however, if you think that you or someone in your family has an alcoholism problem, it is essential to visit a professional or contact a help association.
How to help an alcoholic family member: previous comments
First of all, it is good to remind you that “a subject with alcohol dependence” is that person for whom drinking causes problems in their personal, family and/or social life. They have lost their ability to abstain and stop using alcohol, suffering a dependence, both physical and psychological, that determines the appearance of visible disturbances. “He cannot think, understand, study, work, or distinguish Good and Evil. The alcoholic is a sick person who can recover for himself, his family, and his society.”
Help tips for families of alcoholics
Someone in your family has alcohol problems. Your drinking has caused you difficulties in one or more areas of your life. The most appropriate relationships with other people have been diminishing or have disappeared altogether. He or she has received warnings from his or her bosses at work or has ended up unemployed because of drinking. Your children may even have received less attention than they should have during the times when their father or mother has been drinking. Housework has been completely neglected. Bills and debts have begun to pile up as soon as the person with alcohol problems has neglected their budget and missed payments. He or she may have promptly spent it on purchasing alcohol or paying off debts due to drinking as soon as he or she received her pay.
At this point, it is possible that health problems due to alcohol. Some people also experience memory lapses or forgetfulness due to alcohol, meaning they don’t remember what they did for periods of time. There may also have been problems with fines or withdrawal of driving license for driving under the influence. In short, the list of problems could be extended almost indefinitely, since everyone has had and has their problems derived from drinking.
If your family member has started or wants to start treatment for an alcohol problem, they may begin to feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. The detox phase is important and after getting it, your family member will begin to feel a little more optimistic as the withdrawal symptoms disappear. Some of your sadness and regrets are starting to surface. But how is the rest of the family? How are you? If your case is similar to that of the rest of your family members, you are surely full of mixed feelings, some positive and others negative.
You may feel some relief and hope But you may still feel anger and rejection if communication between you has broken down. You may have tried to talk to each other only to end up arguing or not speaking to each other. You may also feel to some extent guilty that you have not been able to get your family member to stop drinking even though you have tried very hard. You may have looked for the wine, liquor, etc., found it, hidden it, or emptied it down the sink.
How to help an alcoholic who doesn’t recognize it
You may have asked, yelled, or begged for him or her to stop drinking. You may also have sometimes tried to cover up for him and made excuses for him. It is possible that you even bought her alcohol because she was very restless without it. Many family members feel bad because they have not been able to get their family members to stop drinking. Children often blame themselves for their parents’ drinking problems. Definitely, Family members are under the burden of great stress.
You may have developed your own interests, friends and activitiess to keep your own identity “safe.” But as the hostility has grown in your families, you have not been able to allow your relatives to continue like this even for a moment longer. You have heard him or her promise before that they were going to stop drinking. It is also likely that you are afraid that he or she will enter treatment and that no change will be achieved that will last.
Treatment programs for family members of an alcoholic
Many people like you hesitate to trust and risk continuing to lose if you commit to supporting your family member and even making some kind of changes in yourself. It is very natural for all family members to have these positive and negative feelings.
This is why it is very important that the entire family becomes part of the treatment or help programs.
As you join the program, you will realize that you will have the opportunity to bring your feelings to light and share them with others similar to those of other families. It will be an opportunity for you to see that you are not alone. At the same time it will also be an opportunity for you to learn information about alcohol and drinking problems. Additionally, new communication skills will be learned and you may family roles and responsibilities are redefined. You will have the opportunity to know how to manage your feelings and desires to help your family member maintain their abstinence. The responsibility of not drinking alcohol falls on him or her, but surely others can also provide help with their support.
If each family member begins to open their channels of communication, support each other, and work together as much as possible, the family will be better off and more satisfied at the same time.
Stages that a family follows and symptoms of an alcoholic person
One of the most tragic characteristics of alcoholism is the long period of time that passes between the emergence of alcohol problems, their recognition, and the decision to undergo treatment.
Since there is no magic line that divides social drinkers from problem drinkers, each person must evaluate the extent to which they have control over your drinking as well as what its negative consequences are before proceeding to make the necessary constructive changes. This can be difficult as there are several stages that are common to all families with alcohol problems before the person becomes aware that their drinking is causing difficulties in their life.
Let’s take a look at all of this to see how thoughts and feelings affect the way family members react to each other so that we can later find answers to help us deal with these types of thoughts. and feelings.
Denial and Confrontation: How to Help an Alcoholic Who Doesn’t Recognize Him
The first stage would correspond to the Denial of alcohol problem. It is a period in which the person’s drinking begins to cause problems; He or she or her family member is not aware of this. The fact that we live in a society where many people drink alcohol makes denial easier.
The person with an alcohol problem may say, “Okay, I drank a lot last night but I drank just like the other people at the party. I drank as normal.” Friends and neighbors try to downplay the possibility that there is a drinking problem. How many times have you heard people say, “Don’t be stupid, everyone drank too much at some point,” or “If you were an alcoholic, what would I be then?”
The social concept that problem drinkers are shabby people only makes denial even easier. It would be difficult for a person who has his own house, car and a good job to define himself as a problem drinker or an alcoholic when the people considered as such look like vagabonds. Children of people with alcohol problems are often very responsible and achieve well academically. Family members often say, “How can he or she have a problem with alcohol when it doesn’t matter to him or her?”
If a person drinks excessively, family members may justify it by saying that they do so because something unpleasant has happened to them, such as: “an argument with their boss or a co-worker, etc.” This may be true in the sense that crises can trigger the possibility of drinking, but there is a point beyond which drinking further increases problems by creating new ones. A person with alcohol problems must take responsibility for their drinking regardless of the circumstances that lead to it.
Another circumstance that helps people deny the problem is that there is a stigma associated with alcoholism. Many people consider alcoholism to be a moral issue and therefore an indicator of weakness rather than a learned behavior. Because of this attitude, many people feel ashamed and refuse to admit that they have a problem.
To conclude, drinking problems are not a one-night thing. In many cases, a person progresses from social drinking to periods of occasional intoxication until reaching a point where alcohol interferes with the person’s life. Often the family denies that a problem exists and the need for treatment is postponed for a long time because of attitudes and beliefs about alcohol.
Many times family members try to cover up and protect the person with alcohol problems so they do not have to feel the negative effects of their drinking. This is usually done to try to save the person’s reputation, not lose their job, etc., but in the long term what it allows is for the alcohol problem to continue for longer.
Confrontation
At this time, family members may discuss the effects of excessive drinking with the family member who has alcohol problems in an attempt to make them aware of the complications they have with and from drinking, and the need for change. . It is important to do this in the calmest and most natural way possible, avoiding dealing with an alcoholic in an aggressive and remembering the following warnings:
- Has to talk to the person at a time when you are sober or when you have the least amount of alcohol in your body, for example first thing in the morning.
- Highlight your concern and desire for help for the person with alcohol problems, putting emphasis on things…