If we talk specifically about the workplace, the relationship you have with your boss is probably the one that can most affect your personal well-being. The way a subordinate is managed by his superior can determine his performance, his commitment to the company, and his level of self-confidence. Workers frequently report that .
A boss with narcissistic tendencies usually makes a good first impression, however, their true traits are exposed over time, revealing that their interest in others tends to be superficial, and that they care above all about themselves (Watts et al. ., 2013). There are those who characterize the “” as that exercised with zero receptivity to comments, lies or inconsistencies, autocracy, manipulation, intimidation, harassment and narcissism.
Recent studies have found that one of the big problems of narcissistic bosses is that they do not have the tools to develop good relationships with their employees, sustainable over time, since their behavior tends to be selfish and their contempt for others erodes the basis of all good relationships: trust (Hamstra, et al., 2021).
Narcissistic people consider themselves more important, talented and attractive than others, but they also feel insecure about themselves and have a great need to be admired. They simultaneously crave affirmation and validation of their inflated self-image from other people, and feel entitled to attention and admiration.
This duality of longing for and feeling entitled to admiration leads narcissistic individuals to consider themselves born to be leaders and to feel entitled to positions of leadership, positions in which they can be seen and admired (Grapsas et al., 2020). ).
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Narcissistic leadership is characterized by selfishness, behaving as if one has prerogatives, arrogance, and exploitation of other people for personal gain (Rosenthal & Pittinsky, 2006).
Unfortunately, we tend to interpret a narcissistic individual’s overconfidence as a sign that they are, in fact, competent and would be a narcissist. Narcissists captivate others with their seductive charm, bold vision, and unwavering self-confidence. All of this, combined with their good first impressions, leads them to rise hierarchically and, as a result, narcissistic traits are relatively common among bosses.
So, narcissists’ aspiration for leadership positions combined with the good first impressions they make can move them up the hierarchies, resulting in narcissistic traits being relatively common among bosses (Grijalva et al., 2013). .
But effective leadership requires developing collaborative, reciprocal, and trusting relationships with others, and evidence shows that narcissistic bosses are considered less trustworthy by those who work for them. This is because developing trust requires integrity and concern for others, and none of this comes naturally to narcissistic people who tend to put their own interests above those of others and even have no problem trampling on others when necessary. to achieve personal benefit. Consequently, a narcissistic and untrustworthy boss will make people feel unsafe to take risks, make mistakes, and express themselves openly.
Can you detect a narcissist?
There are various selection tests used in organizational recruitment that seek to detect people with these traits to avoid assigning them to leadership positions. And, of course, narcissistic people are not shy about admitting that they want to be admired or even that they overlook the interests of others. In fact, in general, narcissists do not present themselves as pleasant or modest (Paulhus & John, 1998). However, narcissists are not incompetent and have the ability to learn that they can be even more effective in achieving their selfish goals if they present themselves in a socially acceptable manner or, in other words, if they camouflage their lack of interest.
A consistent finding is that some narcissistic bosses develop techniques for managing others’ impressions of them: they actively seek to behave in ways that make them appear sincere to others. When they are successful with these techniques, employees tend to perceive them as more trustworthy than their highly narcissistic counterparts who do not use techniques to manage others’ impressions, and because of this, their employees feel safer expressing themselves openly.
What is false interest like?
It can be difficult to tell when someone is feigning interest or genuinely showing it, but there are certain clues that can serve as guides. In general, the fact that narcissistic individuals need to learn to give others the impression that they care means that they cannot rely on spontaneous behavior and responses. This means that your seemingly sincere behavior is likely to come across as awkward or scripted.
For example, someone who really cares about you is likely to spontaneously ask you how you are and what’s new in your life. A person who doesn’t really care about you is less likely to ask you spontaneously. What’s more, they may only ask these questions after you because your question reminds them to express reciprocal interest. Plus, they’re unlikely to ask you follow-up questions after you’ve shown their superficially affectionate behavior. After all, they’re not really interested in you.
On the other hand, someone who truly cares is likely to listen and be more empathetic. Conversely, if you find yourself telling a story about your own experience and the experience suddenly seems to be about the other, their seemingly empathetic response to your story might just be an opportunity for this person to tell a story about themselves. Likewise, his reaction to your story may not be empathetic at all, but superficial and just sticking to the facts.
However, at the same time, if they only let you talk and never share their experiences or relate to what you are saying, it is very possible that they have led you to believe that they are interested in you, but in reality they do not care what you say. you are sharing. Someone who cares about you and is trustworthy is also likely to express trust by sharing about her own life, for example, because trustworthy people are likely to view relationships as a two-way street.
Most people have a natural inclination to trust others who show signs of affection, so we are vulnerable to the assumption that narcissists mean well, especially those narcissists who go out of their way to appear sincere. Some awareness of this effect and of the ways in which we might recognize false interest is helpful in protecting well-intentioned people from being exploited and manipulated.
References:
- Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, MD, & Denissen, JJA (2020). The «Why» and «How» of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit. In Perspectives on Psychological Science (Vol. 15, Number 1, pp. 150-172). https://doi.org/
- Grijalva, E., Harms, P., Newman, D.A., & Gaddis, B. (2013). Narcissism and Leadership: A Meta-Analytic Review of Linear and Nonlinear Relationships. In Academy of Management Procedures (Vol. 2013, Issue 1, p. 11731). https://doi.org/
- Hamstra, MRW, Schreurs, B., Jawahar, I.M., Laurijssen, LM, and Hunermund, P. (2021). Manager narcissism and employee silence: A socio-analytic theory perspective. Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology, 94, 29–54.
- Paulhus, D.L., & John, O.P. (1998). Egoistic and Moralistic Biases in Self‐Perception: The Interplay of Self‐Deceptive Styles With Basic Traits and Motives. In Journal of Personality (Vol. 66, Number 6, pp. 1025-1060). https://doi.org/
- Rosenthal, S.A., & Pittinsky, T.L. (2006). Narcissistic leadership. In The Leadership Quarterly (Vol. 17, Number 6, pp. 617-633). https://doi.org/
- Watts, AL, Lilienfeld, SO, Smith, SF, Miller, JD, Keith Campbell, W., Waldman, ID, Rubenzer, SJ, & Faschingbauer, TJ (2013). The Double-Edged Sword of Grandiose Narcissism. In Psychological Science (Vol. 24, Number 12, pp. 2379-2389). https://doi.org/
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