Many clients may feel fear or worry about not bothering or offending their psychologist when it comes to openly transmitting their dissatisfaction with something that bothered them about the therapy or the therapist. It is essential to remember that the therapeutic relationship is a type of unilateral relationship in which the psychologist is available to the client and focuses all of his or her energy to help him or her face the problems that brought him or her to therapy. The consultation becomes a safe, private, unique, unrepeatable and exclusive space so that the consultant can improve, not so that the therapist feels good or seeks her own well-being.
This week the New York Times published a writing by two clinical psychologists with very precise recommendations to help clients give feedback to their therapists and express when they are dissatisfied or feel upset. At we translated and adapted this article:
Be direct when something worries you or bothers you.
In 2016 the academic journal published a study that found that 72.6% of patients had lied to their psychologist about their experience in therapy. Among the most frequent lies were: pretending that they agreed with the suggestions and activities that the therapist proposed, pretending that the treatment had been helpful, and they had hidden their opinions about the therapist (Blanchard and Farber 2016).
Avoidance and concealment of information by the patient can seriously hinder the effectiveness of the treatment and the well-being of the client.
Don’t be afraid to express your dissatisfaction when your psychologist’s recommendations are not helpful, when you have concerns about the treatment, when the therapist talks excessively about himself or his own experiences, when he does not explain how the treatment will unfold, or when you feel offended. because of some comment the therapist made.
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For example, you can say, “I feel upset/hurt by what you just said,” or when they share too much personal information and don’t give you room to talk, you can say, “I’d rather we focus on me right now and not.” both in your personal stories.”
Analyze the therapist’s response
Therapists are human, we are not perfect and we know that we can make mistakes in the therapeutic process, which is why we should be receptive to patient feedback. With this information we can not only improve therapy, but also open an opportunity for the client to practice communication and courage skills. By providing an open and frank environment, the therapist is paving the way for improved therapeutic and collaborative relationships. Instead, the therapist can do more harm if her response is defensive, angry, or questions the patient for passing on her feedback. If this is the case, then it is best for the client to find a different therapist.
Find a collaborative solution
Once the client has been able to express their concerns, it is important that, together with the therapist, they can seek solutions to the problems or obstacles of the treatment. To do this the therapist could validate the patient’s concern, anger and frustration and take this opportunity to improve the therapeutic relationship and work towards the established goals. By receiving feedback the therapist can also take the opportunity to reinforce the fact that the patient is completely within his rights to share his discomforts or concerns.
Review the objectives
Psychological treatment involves modifying certain behavioral patterns that may be deeply rooted in the clients. Many times therapy can take time and effort. This can further trigger the client’s worry and anxiety, even after sharing her feedback with the therapist.
A very healthy practice within the therapeutic process is that together you can review the objectives that were agreed upon when the psychologist proposed the treatment plan and evaluate how effective and useful it has been for the client. In these cases the client can say: “I would like to review my progress in therapy” or “Can I tell you in the future if I don’t feel understood?”
Fountain:
Bibliographic references:
Blanchard, Matt, and Barry A. Farber. 2016. “Lying in Psychotherapy: Why and What Clients Don’t Tell Their Therapist about Therapy and Their Relationship.” Counseling Psychology Quarterly.