That feeling that comes from the depths of you and that dyes your life a dull gray, that turns you off, exhausts you, anguishes you, knots your stomach and compresses your chest, turns you into an automaton. That feeling that you can only call “emptiness.” Why is that. An emotional void that takes over your daily life. And by chance you found this article from Psychology-Online “emotional void: definition, symptoms and how to fill it” that seems to promise to teach you how to get out of the emotional void. Well, keep reading to learn what you’re facing, understand it, and find some tips to heal emotional emptiness.
Emotional emptiness: definition
Emotional emptiness is a widely discussed concept. There are several approaches to defining it, different ways to reach its meaning: with metaphors, comparisons, descriptions, examples of situations, etc. And it is such a personal feeling that it cannot be fully explained in words.
Generally, emotional emptiness is understood as that feeling of psychological discomfort with oneselfthe self-perception of being separated, disconnected from others and the universe, the feeling of loneliness, dissatisfaction, unhappiness, the thoughts of , the lack of identity, a hole in the chest or in the pit of the stomach that swallows all your energy , the feeling that you are missing something, etc.
Emotional emptiness: symptoms
An emotional void can be expressed through many symptoms, the vast majority psychological and/or behavioral. These usually vary depending on the cause of the vacuum and can be grouped into three large groups.
- boredom, disinterest, reluctance, alienation
- sadness, isolation,
- Frustration, anxiety, boredom, fatigue
Emotional emptiness: causes
The causes that can lead us to feel an emotional void can be of a very different nature since its etiology, as well as its definition, is broad. Even so, the most common causes are usually the following:
- Inconsistency between our values, beliefs or principles and what we do or say. We live in a time in which it is impossible to be consistent with absolutely all of our principles or values. We are in an unfair, disproportionate world, full of poverty, hunger, precariousness and social injustices, framed within capitalism from which it is practically impossible to escape. Therefore, being fully coherent becomes a very difficult task to perform, and awareness of this reality can lead to an existential void.
- Fears: to being abandoned, to loneliness, to disappointing others and ourselves, etc. Fears so deep that they can take over us and that, to combat them, the only defense mechanism is found in apathy and disinterest in everythingturning that emptiness into the default emotional state.
- Emotional dependence. The , caused by multiple factors, including low self-esteem and family models, can lead to feeling that emotional emptiness when, due to the loss of a partner or other situations, we find that emotional lack that is so difficult for us to live with.
How to fill my emotional void
Knowing how to get out of emotional emptiness is never easy, but here are a series of steps that can help when it comes to healing that emptiness:
- Face the void. To overcome the emotional void, it is necessary to embrace it, feel it in all its intensity to fill it with . This is the first step. A step that many find so scary that before facing the emptiness by looking inside, they seek to fill it with external things. Therein lies the danger of falling into a possible addiction, since some turn to alcohol, food, shopping, drugs, sex, etc. And what it is about is, allow yourself to feel all the negative emotions that emptiness entails to learn to deal with them. Filling the void is a slow process, full of successes and failures, desperation and hope. A path with stops, falls and new beginnings where there are no shortcuts.
- Work on self-esteem. Another important aspect of overcoming emotional emptiness is learning to forgive yourself. Listen carefully to your needs, desires, concerns, and go from caring for others to caretaker of oneselfwithout trying to please everyone to gain the approval and love of others.
- Face fears. Don’t let yourself get immersed in the loop of being distressed for doing nothing or doing anything because you are distressed. Once you face them and start living, fears lose their reason for being. In the following article you will find.
- Explore. Everything and everyone. Find things you like, do things that make sense to you. Meet new people and appreciate the ones you already have. Establish relationships that are meaningful to you (but be careful, without falling into dependency!).
- Go to the psychologist. As always, a specialized therapy adapted to your needs directed by a professional psychologist is the best option to accompany you on this path, because as Victor Hugo said: “The heaviest burden is to exist without living.”
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bolmsjö, I., Tengland, P., & Rämgård, M. (2018). Existential: loneliness An attempt at an analysis of the concept and the phenomenon. Nursing Ethics, 26(5), 1310-1325.
- Norwood, R. (2000). Women who love too much. Madrid: Reading Point Editions
- Plou, P. M. (2006). Dependency relationships: how to fill an existential void? Journal of Psychotherapy, 17(68), 66.
- Ranasinghe, P. (2019). Theorizing nothingness: malaise and the indeterminacies of being. Distinction-Journal of Social Theory.