It is increasingly clear that strength has more to do with flexibility than with rigidity, with expression more than with containment, and with inner freedom more than with the hardness to face life’s situations.
Making an analogy, it is the same thing that happens with earthquakes and anti-seismic constructions. They are those that, when accompanying telluric movement, move a lot and, therefore, do not fall. The rigid ones and those that do not move or move little, have a high probability of breaking and collapsing (perhaps that is where that absurd but widely used phrase comes from, that one “breaks” when excited).
Everything seems to indicate that emotional containment or the non-expression of the emotions that inhabit us is a sign of adaptability in the face of environmental pressures and what we have to face daily. Once again, the message to the body is that we cannot communicate as we would like because we would show ourselves as maladaptive, immature and with little capacity to tolerate frustrations and painful situations in life.
It is frequent that we feel very bad, that we are sick and that we also have the obligation to perform our duties in any way possible. Here, asking the body how it feels is almost ridiculous and denial seems to work better to face what has to be done, and once the “obligation” is over, the body manifests itself again with full intensity.
It is the wonder of the adrenaline that makes us work with all our energy when faced with states of pressure, but once the “enemy” has disappeared, the body gives itself the space to express itself. This in my life has been a constant; I have always called myself “post-war” when faced with difficult situations. While I have the duty in front of me, I function one hundred percent, without even feeling the body or, rather, feeling it as the best of allies. But when the event happens, they literally have to pick me up with a spoon, because I’m not worth a penny and all the weight of the body and emotions fall on me.
This happens to many people and, above all, to those who need pressure to function, and to the extent that they have more things to do, they are more efficient. When there is time and everything is more relaxed, there is the paradox that we leave everything for the end, as if looking for that pressure and that adrenaline that makes us react. This dynamic probably has to do with the way in which we have been educated since childhood and that tells us that evaluation is external, so we are very bad at self-planning and ordering our times if there is not something from outside that forces us To do it.
The same happens with the evaluation of our behaviors that focus on the external and not on a critical and helpful self-evaluation of our behaviors. It would be wonderful if we were taught from a young age to honestly self-evaluate ourselves with respect to how much we studied and what qualification we deserve to have according to the effort made. Today, we study by number or by category rather than for the pleasure of learning and discovering the world and ourselves. This, added to the theme of training focused on cunning and not on kindness, brings out the educational center again outwards.
The excellence of the soul and of the effects is the only one that can guarantee that children become a real contribution to the society in which they live. It became part of the race to success to compete and suffer so that our children learn skills and not self-knowledge techniques.
Extract from Deaf Ears, Pilar Sordo.
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