By Susana Tres
Ricardo is a man whom he likes to read, listen to music and have a quiet conversation with his friends.
At the moment works at home for a publisher as a translator. Before I had to go to the office dailywhich it was hard: “I couldn’t concentrate when the atmosphere got tense. I have gained a lot with flexible hours because it allows me to rest when I need it.”
Remember always having one Delicate health: allergies, headaches, insomnia…
Although he is valued for being a translator perfectionist and an understanding friend, often would like to be “like everyone else”. He thinks that he is not sociable, strong or ambitious enough.
He got to feel better about himself when he became aware that he was a hypersensitive person and learned to take care of his needs.
What is emotional hypersensitivity
When a person has been mistreated without being able to defend themselves, they will develop a very pronounced sensitivity before what reminds you of your negative experience. This sensitivity coupled with fear and anger can lead to what we call susceptibility.
The susceptible is automatically defensive, either shutting down or reacting with anger at the slightest sign of what creates an attack, Also You can imagine the worst before checking what the reality is like.
To overcome susceptibility, one must recover the ability to analyze what is happening and defend oneself against the negative. But that is not what happens to those who are hypersensitive.
People like Ricardo are characterized by being Very sensitive to what is happening in their environment. His perception of external stimuli (lights, sounds, movement) as well as the stimuli internal (hunger, cold, pain) is especially fine.
This makes them highly intuitive. They have a clear awareness of what happens or can happen. In counterpart, they get overwhelmed more easily when subjected to a stimulating environment. If they are exposed to a lot of stress they become touchy, shy and irritable.
Many hypersensitive people feel misunderstood and imperfect because they compare themselves to people who are less sensitive than themselves. Sensitivity is a trait that is not highly valued, although it is very necessary in a society of action like ours.
If you are a sensitive person or live with one who is, it is very important that you be able to understand and appreciate this trait.
How are hypersensitive people: introversion or shyness
To begin with, it is necessary to know that the nervous system needs some degree of activation to function. Too much relaxation or excessive activation decrease the ability to react. We all have an optimal level of activation in which we develop well.
Hypersensitive people need less stimulation than the others to get to this point.
They are sensitive to subtleties that other people will miss., such as the details of a landscape, certain frequencies of music or small movements of body language. For this they are Good for activities that require precision and finesse.
less sensitive peopleon the other hand, they are bolder and they serve to be in the front line of fire.
neither of these two profiles is better than the other, they are simply different and complementary. The person of action needs the calm and clairvoyance of the sensitive person. The sensitive person needs drive and determination of the person of action.
Carl G. Jung was the first psychologist to speak of sensitivity as a neutral character trait. and warned about how little is valued in our society.
He distinguished between introverted people and extroverted people, the former being the sensitive group. Indeedsensitive people are mostly introvertsalthough there are also sensitive extroverted people.
the introverts they prefer to be alone, focused on their inner world. They have a great fantasy but run the risk of becoming too distant from external reality.
It is easy for them to harbor the belief that they are not competent enough. Feeling little capable, they withdraw from the world and become devitalized.. They recover their energy when they discover that they can give good things. Also when they find an activity or job that they like.
Sensitive introverts are often dismissed as shy. This label does not help them find their own way of relating.
They are appreciated for being people who know how to listen, accurate in their judgments and faithful in their affections. But before they have to face the fear of failing and the desire for perfectionismwhich prevents them from relating naturally.
It is convenient for them to stop seeing themselves as shy, as they have probably always seen them, and to recognize their particularities, such as the preference for one-on-one relationships over group ones.
When extroversion is a way to run away
extroverted sensitive people they do like to be with people when they are calm. They are sociable, but they are in danger of filling their lives with work, hobbies and social commitments to hide from their sensitivity.
They are affected by the same things that affect sensitive people: the moods of others, the weather, the caffeine… But they ignore the overactivation signals that their body emits, and thus they mistreat themselves. Thus it is easy for them to burn out, develop anxiety disorders and somatizations.
Your problem is that they are afraid of their sensitivity. These people, more than anyone, need to find spaces for rest and introspection. They have to learn to take care of their sensitivity, which implies listen more and dose the action.
It has been proven that there is an inherited predisposition to hypersensitivity. Sensitive babies have a harder time adjusting to changes than other babies. They are generally prone to colic, constipation or allergies.
Sensitive children may need more time to dare to explore. If we criticize them for their slowness and force them to act before they feel ready, they can accumulate negative experiences that make them fearful or irascible.
Intelligent and sensitive parents will protect the baby from stress that generate, for example, very loud noises. Later these parents will encourage their child to carry out activities, help her if necessary, and praise her achievements.
This way, By providing security and self-esteem, they will be able to enhance their qualities.
Why emotional hypersensitivity is a gift
But sometimes parents cannot provide the security necessary to safeguard the integrity of a sensitive child.
This is what happened to Ricardo, the youngest of four siblings in a family that emigrated from the countryside shortly after his birth. His parents were worried about making a place for themselves in the city and they struggled to meet the emotional needs of a sensitive infant like Richard.
So he learned to interpret his sensitivity as a nuisance rather than a gift. His three older sisters were less sensitive people than him, which made his situation worse.
Culturally we expect a girl to be sensitive and shy while a boy has to be active. These stereotypes damage the self-esteem of the sensitive child. They also make it difficult for the girl to overcome her fears.
A traumatic experience at a delicate moment can awaken or increase sensitivity. A difficult birth, losing parents, being a victim of abuse or mistreatment, or many changes in life (moving, divorce…) can leave a scar that hurts under certain circumstances.
As many hypersensitive peopleto Ricardo always it has been difficult for him to maintain a partner. On one hand she was in great need of love, but on the other hand she was afraid of losing her intimacy.
He convinced himself that he was better off alone, until one day he least expected he fell madly in love with someone. After a short time, when the infatuation lost its effects, he began to feel uncomfortable until at the first difficulty the relationship broke up.
Other sensitive people have the opposite difficulty: It is difficult for them to separate from their partner for fear of loneliness. They get used to being with a person, and they don’t leave her even though the desire to be with her has disappeared.
In both cases there is a belief that what comes from outside is dangerous.. This mistrust taken to an extreme can condemn them to a very painful isolation. It is important that the hypersensitive person learns to handle this mistrust. that makes her suspicious of anything.
It is a paranoid part of the self who perceives the world as a threat and overreacts to it. Sometimes you will do well to think the worst and distance yourself, but often these behaviors will be exaggerated.
The overflowing fantasy typical of the sensitive person, coupled with the fear of being attacked, rejected or abandoned, can make them susceptible and paranoid who will become defensive and not be able to enjoy life.
Therapy to adjust sensitivity
Many sensitive people have had to go through therapy processes psychological to realize how they are and that they have different needs.
Ricardo, for example, as a result of a depression, could understand why he was overwhelmed by a stress that others could easily bear. Seeing his defects in the light of hypersensitivity helped him to respect and value himself more.
Another essential step is to heal the suffering of the past, whether caused by trauma or caused by the misunderstanding of parents and teachers. Reliving what hurt and healing wounds helps sensitive people to be happier.
Definitely, hypersensitivity has its advantages and disadvantages. The sensitive person is usually intuitive, observant and artistic. But she is also more prone to anxiety, fears, and somatizing tensions.
One of the problems arises when you try to follow the current trends and neglect your needs. It seems that the world belongs to extroverted people who seek power, fame or money. But, for example, what would we do without people aware of environmental problems?
Luckily, there are people who can work altruistically for the well-being of others. Sensitivity is a character trait that brings us many positive things and should be cultivated.
How to take advantage of emotional hypersensitivity
- Take risks to do things. Put your projects into practice and you will see how the world thanks you. Offering your knowledge and skills to others, you will feel useful and you will learn.
- Protect the body. The body is your best ally but if you mistreat it it becomes your enemy. Provide a restful sleep, good food and revitalizing exercise.
- Practice introspection. Give yourself time to practice meditation, journaling, or any other activity that relaxes you. Cultivate inner calm to distance yourself from your worries,
- Get over…