There are many situations in our lives that can lead us to live an attachment relationship. Parents, friends and partners can develop unhealthy relationships that limit our independence and security. In the field of love relationships, dependency or emotional attachment It is something very common, much more than we think. An overly dependent bond is created between the two people, making them feel incomplete, insecure, and weak without each other. In this Psychology-Online article we are going to discover you how to overcome emotional attachment in a couple giving you some tips that will help you detect this situation and, of course, to be able to overcome it. Healthy and positive relationships are the only ones we should cultivate.
Before diving into giving you advice so that you can overcome emotional attachment in your couple, it is important that you learn how to recognize your symptoms more obvious. It is not necessary to go to an extreme and feel completely vulnerable without that person to talk about attachment, it is simply enough to analyze a series of behaviors and feelings to understand the nature of your relationship.
Thus, a person with emotional dependence on their partner usually experiences situations similar to the following:
- You always want to be with your partner: Although at the beginning of starting a relationship it is natural to want to see that person more than others, the truth is that this situation is only the beginning. Afterwards, things must calm down and return to normal. But if that’s not the case and you still feel that need, it’s because you probably have an emotional attachment. The usual thing is that, after the first months of passion and extreme infatuation, calm comes and you recover your life and your independence; If not, it is because something is wrong so analyze it.
- You feel that you need him: This is another of the most common situations in couple attachment relationships. And the thing is, instead of wanting to be with her and enjoy an evening in her company, your feeling goes further and goes from simple desire to need. This is dangerous because, if one day you are missing that person, your world can completely fall apart. Relationships are not necessity, they are will and decision.
- You feel insecure about your relationship: It is also very common for people who are emotionally dependent on their partner to always be insecure about the future of their relationship. Their concern is such that they stop enjoying their life as a couple and are always worried. This happens because, as we have said before, a toxic bond of need is created and, therefore, you cannot even imagine what will become of you and your life without that person. These thoughts only generate anguish, discomfort and stress.
- Feelings of inferiority with respect to your partner: The relationship of dependency that you have generated in your relationship means that you do not feel worthy of his/her attention and that you are always worrying about him/her finding someone better than you and, in the end, abandoning you. This makes you feel smaller and insignificant next to them, something that greatly affects your self-esteem and self-confidence.
- You don’t know how to be alone: and, finally, another of the most obvious symptoms that indicate that you suffer from emotional attachment to your partner is that you are not able to enjoy yourself without that person. You don’t know what to do with your life when he or she is not there, you don’t know how to have a good time or occupy your free time. This clearly indicates that you are relying solely on your partner to be happy. And that is totally unhealthy because you are the person who has to fight to be happy. Only you.
Now that you know what emotional attachment is, it is important that you try to overcome it in order to live fully and happily. Very often, in a couple breakup, It is very difficult to break that attachment and, in the end, you end up having a worse time because of this toxic bond more than because of missing your partner per se. Therefore, it is important to know how to overcome emotional attachment in a couple and fight to enjoy a fuller and more satisfying life.
Don’t be afraid to be alone
In order to overcome emotional attachment in a couple, it is important to It is clear that, after a breakup, there is a period of change and that, during this, there may be moments in which you feel more alone than usual. But nothing happens, really. It is something normal and common that happens to all of us. In fact, even when you are with a partner, it is important that keep your individuality, that you take care of yourself and that you dedicate time to yourself. Only in this way can you continue to be a complete and authentic person who, if the relationship ends, will continue with his or her life exactly the same.
be more selfish
In order to avoid emotional dependence in the couple, it is important that let’s not lose sight of our interests nor our dreams. Many times we tend to confuse the fact of “adapting to each other” with “cancelling each other.” This is something that we should avoid as much as possible. We have to think about ourselves, what we want from life and do what we really want. And if our partner is within this plan, much better! But, above all, we should never put ourselves in the background.
Distance yourself from your partner
Another trick to be able to practice emotional detachment as a couple is to have moments apart. Converting the couple as a “pack” is something totally toxic both at the individual and social level. It is clear that there will be moments that you share together but, there must also be other moments in which you are apart. You cannot become one person, you have to be two individuals who have come together to be happier. But always that: two independent and united people.
Do you love him or need him?
This is a question that we invite you to ask yourself and be very sincere when answering it. Differentiating what love is from need is something basic that will tell you what your feelings towards your partner really are. Remember that a partner never needs each other because, to be happy, you don’t need anything more than yourself. Therefore, it is important that you analyze the nature of your feelings and, if you feel needy, try to separate yourself a little, take care of yourself and respect yourself. You are worth a lot. You don’t need anyone to be happy. Do not forget.
In this other article we tell you how.
And, to finish this article about the emotional attachment of a couple, it is important to know the symptoms that can help us detect if we have attachment in our relationship or, on the contrary, we enjoy a healthy relationship.
Here we leave you the most obvious signs of dependency in the couple so that you can analyze your situation:
- Obsessive thoughts: Something very common among couples with dependency is that they have some “obsessions.” For example, compulsive jealousy or distrust is a clear symptom of this emotional situation. It is also common to idealize the person with whom you share your life or to ignore those negative situations experienced within the couple.
- Compulsive contact: Another characteristic of dependent couples is that they spend all day talking on the phone, through messages, etc. And when one member cannot contact the other, the usual thing is that big arguments, mistrust or complicated situations arise that are the result of this toxicity that exists in the couple.
- Lack of realism in the couple: Another very common symptom is that the relationship is lived in a fantasy way. That is, reality is not accepted and decisions are never made about it. This type of relationship is doomed to failure but, most of the time, the couple keeps trying again and again because they find it impossible for the relationship to end.
In this other article we help you analyze the .