Sometimes parenting girls can be shrouded in self-doubt, feelings of loss, or disconnection. Which is why they often wonder if they should stay out of it or not. If you are in that position, what should you do?
Kimberly Wolf, a Harvard-educated school counselor and parenting coach, wrote for the about her experience in helping parents improve their communication skills, maximize their impact as parents, and raise intelligent, confident, and determined daughters.
She confesses that she has encountered many fathers who feel lost and disconnected when it comes to raising their daughters; to the point that they often wonder if they should stay out of it.
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Wolf talks about the Authorized paternitythat is, to be supportive and in tune with the needs of the children. For example, if there is a conversation about an important topic, listening to their thoughts and offering guidance is the most recommended.
As well as creating small moments of connection that will bring you positive benefits in your relationships, your mental health, your academic performance and your interaction on social networks.
How to build a healthy father and daughter relationship?
This means preparing for a scenario of healthy and productive conversations:
- Don’t be intimidated by uncomfortable topics
It is not just about teaching lessons related to the topic on the table, but about be present, share your points of view and listen to her so that she feels more loved, seen and supported.
Wolf highlights that: “when it comes to young daughters, Talking to a parent who differs in gender, age, and experience will prepare you for high-stakes conversations in your personal relationships. and commercials later.”
- Make a physical presence
In this case it is not necessary to always say somethingreading a book near her or offering her her favorite times when she is studying, is telling her that you are present in her life and available to talk.
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- Create moments of connection
Have the initiative to choose a plan to enjoy together such as reading, dining, playing sports, going to the movies or traveling. If you live apart from her or travel a lot for work, call her, send messages via email or WhatsApp and make video calls. The scope of technology will also allow you to play online with it.
- Take advantage of learning moments
If you are watching a television program and you see that the theme or situation lends itself to comment and know your opinion, do it. Just as if he is with his friends and they talk about a topic in which you can contribute. You can ask questions and offer your wisdom on how to handle a difficult situation.
“Children are very sensitive about whether their parents will be scared by something,” says Mitch Prinstein, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina. “If they know they won’t overreact or judge them, they’ll be more likely to speak up.” openly with them.”
- Remind her of the habits you want her to adopt
Constantly send him messages or WhatsApp about the healthy habits you want him to adopt such as not accepting drugs, not being distracted while driving, taking care of alcohol and negative friendships.
Successful parents don’t see this as “lecturing” because they know that the more they repeat their values and make their positions known, the more likely their daughters will adopt those beliefs into adulthood.even if they seem to reject them in adolescence.
- Put limits on your work
When you spend time with your daughter, Don’t receive work calls or respond to an email. Get away from the computer and put away your phone. It can even be a rule for both.
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- Notice the little things
What is your favorite food, book (genre), band, scent, color, or hobby? Pay attention to their tastes and look for opportunities to show that you support and appreciate their characteristics and individuality.
- Don’t wait until the weekends to make relaxing plans
The stress of the week can be managed through some plan at night like going to see a movie, a nighttime exhibition at a museum, or dining at a restaurant.
“When I was in high school my dad took me to basketball games at night. On the surface, he was just taking me to a game, but also It was helping me learn to manage my time. This tradition not only benefited our relationship, it increased my happiness and taught me the value of work-life balance.”Wolf reflected.