Sometimes, when a relationship ends, one of the two members of the couple continues to care about the other person and tries to do everything in their power to recover the relationship. Sometimes, there are those who pretend to be a friend to, in this way, win back the other person. On many occasions it has been said that this is the best way to win back your ex-partner, that is, be his/her friend to later get him/her back.
Is faking a friendship useful? Can showing yourself as a friend be a good first step to getting back into a relationship? Although on some occasions this has been able to work, in this Psychology-Online article we want clarify if being friends with your ex-partner really works to get him back.
Is it healthy to be friends with your ex?
Can you be friends with an ex? This is a question that many people ask themselves. Let’s see what psychology says about friendship with ex-partners.
Being friends with your ex-partner is healthy as long as you have both gotten over the breakup and you have considered that he is an important person in your life, but that he should occupy another place than he did before, that is, be your friend and not your partner.
When both of you have done this reflection and consider that being part of the other’s life is good for you, it is healthy. If, on the contrary, there is hidden ulterior motives In that friendship, it is not advisable to be friends with your ex-partner, since both parties can end up harmed by having different objectives: the person who wants to recover, for not recovering or becoming even more infatuated, and for the person who does not want to have anything else. , for losing a friendship and feeling deceived by the other, in addition to the possible appearance of feelings of guilt.
If it is your ex-partner who is having this approach in the form of friendship, you may wonder why. In this article we address the.
Can you get an ex-partner back by being their friend?
Can If you both use friendship to recoverIf not, it is inadvisable to be friends with your ex-partner.
First you must process the grief of having lost the relationship and then both of you must have come to the conclusion that you love each other in your life but in a different way than before, that is, as friends. If you try to do it without being honest with yourself and with the other person, it is likely that at some point of confusion something may happen again with your ex-partner, but even so this fact can be the result of a given moment, of having been there. and nothing more, then both parts of the couple are going to feel bad, one because he recovers the illusion and the other part because he cannot give what the other person truly wants and needs and feel bad or guilty for what happened.
Therefore, Being friends with your ex to get her back works only when both parties want to give the relationship another chance. and see if with a slow and progressive approach they can establish a relationship, starting from a relationship more similar to friendship (but being clear that the objective is not just to be friends).
How to get your ex partner back
In the previous sections we have seen that trying to be friends with your ex to get him back may not be the best option because you are playing a role that you really don’t want. Therefore, below we are going to see some of the things we can do to get our ex-partner back that will be more useful and successful:
Be sincere
Send this message that you have been thinking about for so long and tell him or her that you want to talk to him or her and express everything you feel. Explain to him what worries you, what you miss. But do it with complete sincerity. Explain the reasons for the meeting and your needs.
Be patient
It is important to win back another person, get to know them and respect their time. Perhaps what you have expressed to him or her is difficult to assimilate, which is why we cannot constantly send messages or ask the other person to see if they respond to what we express.
Express from emotions
It is important that we identify well what made us feel the relationship and what makes us feel not having it in order to be able to do it from the emotions since it helps more to connect and understand the situation.
Try to avoid attacks or reproaches
When we try to get someone back it is important to first look at the I and then at the you, that is, avoid accusatory phrases such as “because you told me that…” and speak from the I “I felt sad when I saw that…” .
Explain what you have done to improve the problems
Perhaps the relationship has ended because things accumulated that have broken the bond created between you, which is why it is important when you want to get someone back to be proactive in everything that was previously weak, in this way the change will have more veracity.
Know yourself
It is very important to recover someone first to recover yourself, know yourself well, reflect on what you like, what you feel and what you want. If oneself is not clear about the direction he wants to take on the path, he cannot embark on the path with another person. Ask yourself what fulfills you, what your strengths and weaknesses are and how these weaknesses that everyone has can be turned into strengths.
In these articles you can see examples of.
If you are wondering how to make your ex fall in love again or how to win back your partner, the first thing you should know is that not everything depends on you. That is, you can express your emotions, be empathetic and learn strategies to improve communication and problem solving. However, that does not guarantee that the other person will feel the same again, nor that they will want to establish a relationship with you. Therefore, you can follow the guidelines applied, but also be realistic and, if after a while the other person does not want to resume the relationship, it will be time to accept it. In this article you will find tips for.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Does being friends with your ex-partner to get her back works?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Boss, P. (2001). The ambiguous loss: how to learn to live with unfinished grief. Barcelona: gedisa.
- Poch Avellan, C. (2013). Losses and pains. Barcelona: Octadero.