The children of divorced or separated parents They present, as a group, more behavioral and/or personal problems because divorce is usually an event that is experienced negatively. The variety of forms of response and consequences of divorce is wide, in this Psychology-Online article we will focus on addressing consequences by age rangesince it is a variable to take into account because it affects people in different ways on an emotional, academic, work-related level, etc.
How does divorce affect babies?
When we talk about divorce and children are babies, parents normally tend to think that they do not suffer any type of consequence because they believe that they do not perceive things, however, this is not the case, babies can also develop symptoms arising from divorce. Some of the consequences observable in babies are:
- Irritability.
- Inconsolable crying.
- Tantrums.
- Hyperactivity.
- Sleep difficulties.
- Nightmares.
- Rejection of food.
- Stomachache.
On the part of parents, the best way to act to help and not harm their child is as follows:
- Maintain as “civilized” a relationship as possible with each other and with grandparents or other family members or caregivers.
- The parent who does not live together visits regularly and gives preference to the home, taking care to maintain a calm atmosphere during these visits.
- Give them lots of caresses, cuddles, hugs and games.
How does divorce affect preschool children?
Preschool-age boys and girls have less capacity to evaluate the causes and consequences of separation as well as to cope with stressful events and use extrafamilial resources. It is more likely at this age to experience feelings of self-blame or abandonment, which those who experience divorce before the age of 8 may experience during adolescence. anxiety, hyperactivity, disobedience and/or challenging behaviors.
According to various studies, preschoolers initially present a profound disorder, regressive behaviors and intense anxiety for fear of abandonment. In the case of girls, after eighteen months they seem to recover, but boys, on the other hand, may continue the same or even worse. As time passes, adaptation will depend on the quality with which it is carried out at the family level. Once they reach adolescence, that is, after about ten years, they will normally not remember what the breakup was like and what the family was like before the separation. In general terms, children who experience divorce in preschool are the most affected in the short term but those that adapt best in the long term.
How does divorce affect preteen and teen children?
Preteens usually feel helpless and experience separation in a fearful way. They tend to side with one parent or neither, and they also tend to experience anger towards both or towards one. He academic performance usually declinesmanaging to maintain the decline throughout the year of separation.
In adolescence the main consequences are: initially, acute depression and antisocial behavior, regressive behaviors (social, emotional isolation…) and anxiety for the future. 18 months later, there is usually a worsening of those who at first seemed to have adapted to the situation, especially in the case of men. Finally, as for preschool children, five years later adaptation and acceptance will vary depending on family quality.
Biological, psychological and social consequences of divorce in adolescent children
According to several studies, the consequences occur in different areas. For adolescent sons and daughters we find the following:
Psychological consequences
It has been found that adolescent biological sons and daughters of divorced fathers and mothers show more behavioral problems, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and social adjustment problems than children of non-divorced parents. In the following articles you will find resources for and .
Adolescents must deal with elements of insecurity and abandonment, if they do not do it properly, it may end up leading to psychological adjustment problems for them. The external consequences would appear in the form of general difficulty in adaptation and aggressive behavior. Internally, anxiety disorders, depression, withdrawal and somatic disorders.
Social consequences
One of the focuses of greatest attention, since it is at this stage where adolescents begin to separate from the family to get together more with their circle of friends. This could lead to a large lack of communication with parents, lack of commitment, interest… which can lead to a loss of the bond that affects you negatively and therefore, also to a loss of limits and a feeling of lack of protection. On a social level, these adolescents are more likely to fall into higher risk behaviors or academic difficulties, which could even cause the adolescent to seek support in gangs and criminal groups.
On the other hand, we also find some positive consequences: separation in adolescent children can lead the child to adopt greater sensitivity and to try more carefully to solve problems what happens to him. The effects will also depend on how the adolescent perceives the divorce: whether as a betrayal, a solution or another loving opportunity.
Here you will find more information about .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Anonymous. (2010). How does a divorce affect the little ones?Digital magazine for teaching professionals,9. Recovered from: https://www.feandalucia.ccoo.es/docu/p5sd7340.pdf
- Cantón, J. & Cortés. MR & Justicia, MD (2002). The consequences of divorce on children. Clinical, Legal and Forensic Psychopathology(2)3, 47-66.
- Robayo, DC (2005). Consequences of parental divorce in adolescents: a biopsychosocial perspective. Retrieved from: https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/47068556.pdf