Different investigations have addressed the relationship between attachment and sexuality, both in terms of the level of satisfaction and the degree of personal conflict with which sexual desire is experienced. And they conclude that it contributes significantly to the quality of the affective-sexual experience as a relational fact in the person.
In general terms, it can be stated that in people with secure attachment styles, with good self-esteem and emotion regulation, sexual behavior is more comfortable and manageable, they have less conflict with erotic desire and a greater capacity for sensitive care; while for insecure attachment styles, confusion, anguish and pain when approaching their sexual life are more common.
This is evidenced by the different investigations on the topic, of which the one carried out by Ortiz, Gómez Zapiain and Gómez Lope at the University of the Basque Country is one of the best examples. Next, we are going to offer a few insights into this topic based on its study.
Secure attachment and emotional-sexual satisfaction
People who have grown up according to a have better control of their emotions and tend to be less impulsive. When they are interested in a person on an emotional level, they can experience strong emotions without needing to feel overwhelmed by this situation, they can manage it better.
Research seems to show that attachment security is associated with better sexual functioning and greater satisfaction in sexual relations. In this style, emotional bonding usually enhances the erotic experience.
Avoidant attachment style and its influence on the person’s sexuality
A greater relationship is found between the type of avoidant attachment and the conflict around sexuality, which is experienced as something unresolved. The study links the avoidant model with aversive responses to sex and discomfort with intimate relationships.
In fact, love for people who have developed this attachment style is frequently linked to this rejection of intimacy and lack of trust. Their sexual relations are usually free of emotional involvement and they feel more comfortable with sporadic sexual relations. Thus, they are more predisposed to not commit and to experience a less satisfaction with physical contactso they also tend to have a lower frequency of sexual relations when they have a stable relationship.
The type of ambivalent anxious attachment in sexuality
The person who has experienced the in his childhood usually orients himself in adult life towards sexual behaviors that seek to reduce their insecurity, using the intimate relationship inappropriately. With this objective, you can be highly accommodating to keep your partner involved.
In the anxious style the erotic experience tends to be interfered with by the fear of rejection or abandonment that he experienced in childhood. These people usually perceive sexual relations as an opportunity to feel cared for and, thus, avoid these problems and calm the anxiety they cause.
Certain investigations have detected that the performance anxiety caused by this attachment style would affect the physiological competence of the sexual response (for example, erection problems in men).
Disorganized attachment style and sexuality
Finally, the disorganized attachment style, considered an attachment disorder, is the most problematic and toxic of all of them. Thus, it affects all spheres of life, including sexuality. It is the most dysfunctional pattern, which describes people who may seek physical closeness while putting emotional and mental distance in the middle.
Their past of painful experiences has taught them to flee from relationships, so when they establish them they do so in a poorly adapted way and have low levels of satisfaction. These people can try control from aggressivenesseven through situations of abuse, or, standing at the opposite pole, showing submission.
.