The absent father is one who, as his name indicates, is absent as a father in the education and upbringing of his children. Any child needs a father and a mother to develop in a healthy and balanced way on a physical, psychological and emotional level.
The absence of the father causes certain deficiencies in children that become entrenched inside and can give rise to future emotional problems. Next, we will list which are the main characteristics of absent fathers as a way to detect these situations and, as soon as possible, remedy them to prevent possible future psychological disorders in children.
Neglects the needs of his children
An absent father neglects the needs of his children or is not physically present and, if he is, he does not have or does not want to have enough empathy to accompany his children and care for them correctly. In this way, children need a father but, with the passage of time, they find that they cannot go to him because is unable to care for his/her children as they really need.
This, over time, can leave a deep emotional wound inside her that will condition her future vital functioning in relation to the development of her trust with male and/or authority figures.
Look the other way
Corroborating the previous point, an absent father looks the other way because, for reasons that we are not going to delve into in this article, they do not want (or can) look at their children, listen to them, care for them and love them.
Of course, it can happen, as usual, derived from what most of the population suffers from, that this avoidant attitude with respect to his role as a father is carried out unconsciously and, despite the fact that he could wish to be a good father , their emotional wounds They separate him and do not allow him to care for his children as he should.
It’s immature
The absent father is an immature person whose fatherhood has overwhelmed him and he has preferred to remain settled in his personal situation prior to the birth of his children. As such, he may have behaviors that are totally out of place within the current family functioning, such as maintaining rhythms of life typical of his previous stage that does not respect children’s schedules or new modes of behavior expected from parents as an example of life for their children.
Choose or be absorbed by other priorities
Or they are not able to care for their children because they are absorbed and do not allow themselves to readjust their attention to other priorities. This usually happens, in many cases, with respect to the workplace, in which parents work endless work days and hardly spend any time at home or the time they do spend is no longer possible to share with their children because they are already sleeping or because they are not tired due to fatigue. they want.
It may also happen, in the case of immature parents, that they voluntarily choose other priorities (work or leisure) to avoid spending time at home and, with this, having to take care of their children.
He dedicates little and poor quality time to his children
As a consequence of the previous point, absent parents, voluntarily or not, spend little time with their children and the little time they are there is not of quality since they attend with reluctance or are tired to share a good time with your children.
He does not assume his responsibilities as a father
It is evident from everything that has been said that absent fathers are people who do not assume their responsibilities as parents and guides, together with the mother of their children. In this way, not they overload the mother with all the responsibility of parenting that, together with household and work tasks, if she works, ends up oversaturating her in a way that can end up causing emotional conflicts between the couple.
They exercise rigid authority or are unable to set limits
Absent fathers do not know their children. They are true strangers to them. This is how, when faced with a possible request for help from the mother for behavior, they either exercise a rigid and inflexible authority that totally disregards the needs of their children and the reality of the moment, or is unable to clarify the situation by establishing the most convenient limits for every situation with sober authority.
Does not want or cannot assume his role as a father
After listing the main characteristics of absent fathers, it is easy to conclude that they are people who either do not want to (consciously), or are unable to assume their role as parents. For different reasons (emotional immaturity, fear, not having chosen parenthood, excess extra-familial burdens, etc.) it is impossible for them to act as parents as they should.
In this way, they place 100% of the responsibility for parenting on mothers who, if they are not helped or supported, can end up becoming greatly oversaturated by this situation. On the other hand, just because a parent acts this way does not mean that the situation is irreversible.
With the disastrous consequences that this can generate in the children, in the mother, in himself and in the family as a whole, change is always possible towards a significant improvement of any vital imbalance. The fundamental requirement for a fruitful process of personal change to begin in the absent father is that he himself becomes aware of his situation and desires to change it.
If you found this article about the characteristics of the absent father interesting, you can expand your knowledge with our post.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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