Throughout our lives we will encounter people who we do not like how they act and it is possible that, at times, it will be difficult for us to resolve these types of situations. If you want to tell a person that you don’t like their attitude without hurting their feelings, it is important that you show great empathy, respect and try to find the most appropriate moment to express what makes you uncomfortable, in addition to sincerely asking them what you expect from them. behavior.
So how can you tell someone who has done something that you didn’t like at all? In this Psychology-Online article we explain how to tell someone that you don’t like their attitude. After this reading you will be able to maintain a more positive relationship with that person and even improve the attitude of someone who makes you uncomfortable.
Why is it important to tell someone that you don’t like their attitude?
Telling someone that you don’t like their attitude can be difficult for fear of hurt feelings or losing the company of that special someone. However, learning to express emotions is healthier and more convenient than carrying anger or fear inside. It is important to express to someone that you don’t like their attitude for several reasons:
- Facilitates honest communication: Expressing your feelings and opinions sincerely and honestly is essential to ensure effective communication. By talking openly about your concerns you will give the other person the opportunity to understand how you feel and consider making changes.
- Allows you to establish healthy boundaries: Honestly saying that you don’t like someone’s attitude allows you to establish healthy boundaries in your relationships, something essential to ensure your emotional well-being and protect yourself from situations that may be harmful or abusive. Here we explain.
- Promotes Mutual Respect: When you communicate your feelings toward someone’s attitude, you are promoting the importance of mutual respect in the relationship. This can create a more balanced and respectful environment in which both parties feel heard and considered.
- It is the way to find a solution: learning to express your discontent with someone’s attitude is a way to open the door to the possibility of finding a solution or resolving differences. By being aware of how the other person’s attitude affects you, you can work together to find ways to improve the relationship or address problems that arise.
Choose the moment
The first step to telling someone that you didn’t like their attitude is wait for the right moment. If you act on impulse or when you are feeling negative emotions, your words may not be the most accurate.
If you do it at the wrong time, that person may feel attacked and you will most likely fall into an argument that will get you nowhere. On the other hand, no talking about it through messages or social networksmuch less start these types of conversations before leaving for work or at lunchtime.
Therefore, when someone has a bad attitude, try to take a deep breath and, when the right moment arrives, invite them to talk to talk about the matter more calmly. The important thing is that you are both calm and relaxed so that the conversation is more receptive and can change that person’s attitude.
Use “I” instead of “you”
When someone has a bad attitude towards you it is best to start talking about what you feel. You can use phrases like “I would like to tell you how I feel when you do this.” The main idea is that you do not point out or accuse directly with expressions like “you always behave badly” because what you will achieve is to form a defensive barrier that will not give any results.
Telling someone “you are very annoying” is not the same as saying “I feel bad when you act like that.” The intention is that express your emotions instead of pointing or accusing so that the other person can understand you.
Always maintain respect
It is important that during the conversation you maintain a relaxed and appropriate tone of voice so that you do not fall into a state of alteration that could lead you to disrespect others. Also, do not use rude words or say hurtful adjectives to the other person, because the purpose is for them to reconcile the problem and be able to maintain a healthier relationship.
Show empathy
Empathic honesty is another fundamental requirement for effectively resolving conflicts. By expressing how you feel and actively listening to the other person, you create an environment conducive to finding solutions and reconciling constructively.
Remember that it involves understanding and accepting the emotions of others, even when you do not agree with their attitude. For this reason, communicate kindly, without judging and avoiding personal attacks. Find a balance between expressing your point of view and showing understanding of the other person’s feelings and perspectives, as this will create effective feedback that will help resolve the conflict.
Don’t criticize, ask
If you are going to tell someone that you don’t like their attitude, criticizing them directly will only make them feel offended and upset. Instead, ask him if he has noticed his attitude and if he has any discomfort with you, since perhaps he has not realized that his attitude bothers you.
Ask as much as necessary and reinforce the idea of how important the relationship is to you and that your intention is for both of you to feel good talking.
State what you expect from that person in the future.
Finally, the important thing so that the situation does not repeat itself is that you be as specific as possible when expressing your wishes about what makes you feel best. In this way, you will establish the attitude that bothered you and what you hope will not happen again.
This person may take their time processing your request, so speak as honestly as possible and Give concrete examples of what you hope their new attitude will be like.. For example, if what bothers you is that he always finishes the sentences you say, ask him to let you finish speaking and wait his turn in the conversation. Of course, remember when you do it so that everything is resolved and you can reach a middle ground, since positive feedback will achieve better results than you expect.
Ultimately, it is important to approach this communication with tact and respect. Actively listen to the other person, try to understand their perspective, and avoid attacks or hurtful comments. Keep in mind that assertive communication will be key to expressing your feelings and concerns in a constructive way. Remember that each situation is unique and, in some cases, it may be helpful seek help from a therapist or mediator to facilitate communication and reach a solution together.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bisquerra, R. (2003). How to improve interpersonal relationships. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Cortes, M. (2004). Interpersonal communication. Madrid: Synthesis.
- Hernandez, E. (2006). The couple’s relationship. Madrid: Pyramid.
- López, M. (2008). Family relationships. Madrid: Synthesis.