Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a sense of grandiosity and excessive self-admiration, as well as the need to be admired by others. These people tend to believe themselves superior to others and think that, as a result of this, they have to be treated in a special way.
They are also people who have a lack of empathy with others and do not consider that they can make any mistakes, therefore, they do not accept criticism and failures in any way. They behave arrogantly towards the rest of society and tend to use others for their own benefit.
From we want to let you know a little more about the characteristics of the covert narcissist so that, throughout your life, you can learn to identify and recognize these people.
What is a covert narcissist?
Normally the covert narcissism It is considered a trait that occurs within the clinical picture of , and .
While a narcissistic person as such shows how he is first, without trying to hide his personality, a covert narcissist is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This people They want to make others believe that they are their friends.who care about them while, in reality, they just want to take advantage of them and take advantage of their friendship.
How to recognize a covert narcissist firsthand
You have to keep in mind that, while a classic narcissist can be seen coming from miles away, as they would say in literature. A covert narcissist is a master of deception and lying.
It is because of that It is not going to be easy to recognize it almost immediately. Since, before trying to take advantage of us, he will spend some time making us believe that we are real friends.
How to spot a covert narcissist
While overt narcissists act more obviously and demonstrate the lack of remorse they have when it comes to taking advantage of others, the covert narcissist is able to modify their behavior by trying to lead one socially acceptedthus ensuring that people do not realize your intentions.
While is true that They lack empathy and remorse, undercovers are capable of asking for forgiveness if this can cause them to take advantage of you later. They are people who present themselves to the rest as great people, supportive and who care about those around them, however, all these actions are intended to obtain something for your own benefit.
Although they act like humble people, the fact that they want people to admire their exploits and boost their ego will come through.
What a covert narcissist is like in love
Narcissistic people initially go to show themselves as charming peoplepretending that they are honest and altruistic people when, in reality, they just want to get something from the other person.
In all relationships they are based on a movie love, ideal and perfect, where the other person has to be at their level. Narcissists seek to share their romantic relationships with people who have high status in society, but who, at the same time, are easy to take advantage of.
They are extremely people distrustful and suspicious So it is not surprising that they never fully trust their partner and show a continuous desire for control towards them. Furthermore, since in their minds they are completely perfect, when a disagreement arises between both members of the couple, they will never accept part of the blame. They will always blame the other.
On the other hand, it should also be noted that, due to their personality, they can humiliate the other person in front of the rest of society to, in this way, demonstrate that they have control over the relationship.
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Characteristics of a covert narcissist
Below we will see how a covert narcissist acts in different areas of his life:
General characteristics of a covert narcissist
- They have a false humility: They play victims to obtain the maximum possible attention from everyone around them. Their theatrical humility is nothing more than a way of showing that they only care about themselves.
- Lack of empathy: While they need other individuals to care about them, in their case they are not capable of acting with compassion and act ignoring the concerns of others.
- immature responses: A narcissist will never accept criticism of himself, so he will respond to it as if it were an offense. Although they will try to hide their anger to show that the other person’s opinion does not matter to them, the narcissist can reach.
- Simplify the needs of others. The only one who has real problems, or who has to satisfy their needs immediately, is themselves. So they will try to minimize the needs and problems of the people around them as much as possible.
- Inability to listen. Do not try to tell your problems to a covert narcissist because at the slightest chance he will turn the conversation back to him, since he will never consider the interlocutor important enough to have to listen to him and pay attention to him.
Characteristics of a covert narcissist at work
- They seek to be the center of attention of the companions. You will always see the narcissist talking to a colleague, even knowing that this can affect the other person’s work and performance.
- They want to take all the credit. It may already be a team effort that the narcissist will manage to make the rest of the people believe that the achievement of said goal has been achieved only thanks to their work and effort.
- They constantly use lies. He will be able to devise the greatest stratagems and tricks in order to achieve what he wants, whether from a sale to a promotion. Here you can see.
- They have no problem humiliating and ridicule others if this is going to act for their own benefit.
- They use sabotage as a key method to prevent others from being in a better position than them.
- It is not surprising that, on certain occasions, a narcissist can push other colleagues to do things. unethical behaviors in order to obtain the desired benefits and objectives.
Characteristics of a covert narcissist with friends
- They are extremely controlling. They cannot conceive that their “friends” want to be and stay with people other than them. Therefore, they will try to prevent this from happening in every way possible, reaching inferences between these relationships.
- They have a high concern for their image. They will want to be the person who stands out from their other friends, which is why they will take extreme care of their image and appearance. It is not surprising that the narcissist spends a large sum of money, even when he does not have it, to wear things superior to the rest.
- His behavior is unpredictable. They move away and approach others as they please, without apparent cause and without any explanation.
- As we have mentioned previously, they present indifference to the needs and desires of others. Therefore, the relationships with their “friends” are one-person, where there is no reciprocity towards others.
- They are excellent actors and, to gain the trust of others, they tend to imitate their traits and behaviors so that the other person creates an idea of affinity with them, so that it is easier for them to establish a relationship.
Characteristics of a covert narcissist with family
- Usually people with a covert narcissistic personality they seek perfectionThat is why they want to demonstrate to the rest of society how ideal their family is.
- If we talk about narcissistic parents, they are characterized by having a behavior where their needs have to be satisfied by the minors since, for them, their children have two functions:
- Maintain the image of a good familywhere sons or daughters listen to their fathers/mothers as a result of the good education they have given them.
- Meet your needscoming to assume responsibilities and behaviors which are not appropriate for their age since parents are very concerned with themselves.
- Narcissistic fathers or mothers do not have in mind helping their sons or daughters solve their problems, but rather they consider the child himself to be the problem. Therefore, many times They present themselves as the victims in parent-child relationships.
- They also tend to overload their sons or daughters to achieve everything that they propose to them since, They employ their descendants as a means of self-advancementwhere if the child achieves something, it is only because they have allowed him to do so.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
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- Soria Verde, M. Á. (2008). Criminal psychology. Publisher: Pearson. Madrid.