Contempt for others involves an act through which one or more people do not adequately care for another individual, even being able to act in a humiliating manner towards him or her. The negative effects of this contempt can be extremely harmful to the emotional and psychological health of the person who suffers it, since it can deeply undermine their self-esteem and inner strength.
In the following Psychology-Online article, we propose 10 tips on how to overcome the contempt of others to help people who have suffered from it, or currently suffer from it, and so that they can move forward with their lives with strength and inner growth.
Be aware of contempt
The first and most important step if you want to know how to act with a person who despises you is become aware that someone is despising you. Sometimes, the same person makes it evident, but in many others, since these are subtle contempts, these can pass as behaviors typical of strong personalities without further ado.
When this happens, the abused person deteriorates physically, psychologically and emotionally without knowing exactly why. of said abuse is important to begin the path of prohibition and stopping this situation.
Connect with the negative consequences of contempt
What to do when someone treats you with contempt? One tool to become aware of abuse is to connect with the negative consequences experienced due to abuse. See How is your health being affected? physical, mental and emotional and how all this negatively affects your life, will facilitate awareness of this abuse suffered which, on some occasions, is denied for fear of being further abused.
Don’t tolerate contempt
When in doubt about how to act with a person who despises you, you must have “zero tolerance.” Any kind of contempt is intolerable in dealings between human beings. Therefore, adopting an attitude of intolerance towards any manifestation of abuse or contempt, no matter how harmless it may seem, will strengthen us, help us not tolerate any type of abuse in ourselves and allow us to defend others from possible similar situations.
Eliminate the life situation from which you receive contempt
The best way to act when faced with contempt is to adopt an attitude of non-tolerance towards any type of abuse. However, there are situations in which, for different reasons, this attitude is not enough to stop the abuse, since it continues to manifest itself in our lives. For example, in the case of abusive bosses in the face of whom our change of attitude is not enough, and/or manipulators with great difficulty controlling their impulses.
In these cases, the best option is modify vital situations that are necessary to eliminate the situation of contempt and abuse suffered. If necessary, it will be advisable to change jobs, move away from the environment of the person who attacks us, change residence if necessary, report to the police, etc.
Take care of yourself and strengthen yourself on a personal level
In the face of any attitude of contempt, it is important to carry out deep work of personal care and strengthening that helps us to strongly establish the attitude of respect towards human rights and zero tolerance towards any type of contempt and/or violence towards anyone.
In the words of Hellen Keller, an American writer and political activist who suffered from situations of sensory deprivation from a young age, “only through trials and suffering is the soul strengthened.” Self-care work will improve our self-image and will give us strength to, based on the situation experienced, be able to protect, support and accompany people who go through situations of abuse in their lives.
Modify your perception
Once strengthened, we can modify our view of the situation. The abuser becomes another of many victims of the abuse suffered, or that is how it usually happens. People who despise others do so because of some emotional deficiency, arising as a result of bad experiences in their own lives.
Many times, people who despise have been despised by someone significant in their lives, so they end up playing the same role. So, what to do when someone treats you with contempt. We must understand that the same person who has been attacking us is a fragile, weak person, who has found in this way of acting a way to protect himself from his own demons and shadows.
Be compassionate
When responding to contempt, it is necessary to incorporate the new vision that we have just discussed, since allows us to completely open our hearts and adopt a compassionate and merciful attitude towards the aggressor, seeing him as a victim of his own bad life experiences.
To achieve this, we recommend that you consult this article about .
Focus on personal growth
In these cases, you can also choose to turn contempt into an opportunity to grow and improve. To achieve this, use constructive criticism as a tool to reflect on yourself and your actions. Look for opportunities to learn and develop in areas that interest you and that make you feel safe and valued.
Remember that you can learn from experience, even the negative ones and can be a learning opportunity. Reflect on situations in which you have experienced contempt from others and analyze what you can draw from those experiences. Are there lessons you can learn about yourself, your actions, or the way you relate to others? Use those lessons to grow and improve.
Reflect on constructive criticism
If you receive criticism that is difficult for you to accept, take a moment to reflect about them. Examine whether there is any truth to those criticisms and consider how you could use that information to improve. You can use constructive criticism as an opportunity for personal growth and self-development.
In this article you will find some.
Consider the contempt
Opening our hearts unites us with our “initial” aggressor enemy. Our kind and compassionate attitude towards him will shock the person he despises by silencing that dark force that controls him and freeing him from it. In the depths of his soul, the person who has made us suffer She will end up being deeply grateful for our forgiving attitude towards her.
You will feel strongly sorry for the pain caused and, deep inside, will change the attitude of contempt for a new behavior of respect and care for others.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Etxebarria, I. (2020). Emotions and the moral world. Synthesis Editorial.