When a person is sad it is not only very hard for them, but for the people around them. Sadness can undermine your self-esteem, weakening your ability to both give and receive affection. If your partner is sad, you may feel distressed and don’t know what to do. You want to help him desperately, but your efforts don’t seem to bear fruit and you continue to see him sad every day.
Every time you try to help, offer solutions, and “fix” the problem, it seems like things only get worse. You feel helpless, that you cannot help him/her and, in some way, you begin to feel hopelessness and/or sadness similar to that of your partner because you cannot do anything about it. So what is your role? ¿What can you do when your partner is sad? In this Psychology-Online article you will find the answer to these questions.
How to support your partner in difficult times
When you see your partner suffer It’s natural to want to do something about it.. You’ve probably already tried to help him, trying to solve his problems or giving him ideas on what to do to feel better, but every time you try to help him he seems more down. This situation can make you feel angry or angry because you are trying everything, but nothing seems to work. However, you should keep in mind that there is no “magic solution” to alleviate someone’s sadness.
In this sense, Esther Perel tells us that when a person is depressed, they feel weak, dejected, without energy, without libido and without hope, but interpersonally they have a lot of power, since they activate others to worry about them to try to make you feel better. The Belgian psychologist also points out that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.
In this sense, Andrew Solomon explains that lovealthough it does not prevent sadness, it does has a deadening effect on the mind and protects her from herself. You can’t “fix” your partner’s sadness and make it go away, but don’t underestimate the positive impact that love and support has on your relationship.
So, if you’re wondering how to cheer up your partner when they’re sad, the best thing you can do is be there for her, without trying to “fix” or “solve” their sadness. It’s hard to believe that what is needed is simply to listen and respect your space. Remember that your partner didn’t wake up one day and decide to be sad. Remember that you are on the same team. The situation is difficult for both of you, but neither you nor your partner is to blame.
Offer concrete support
There are several ways you can cheer up your partner when they are sad. One of the most important is support her in difficult times. Someone struggling with depression may not know how to answer a broad question like, “What can I do to help you?” Instead, offer specific, concrete support, such as sitting quietly next to them, taking them for a walk, or helping them with things. day to day tasks.
Be compassionate
What to do if your partner is very sad? In these cases, it is very important to be compassionate. It is a combination of empathy directed towards the well-being of a person. Empathy does not mean feeling sorry for someone, but rather “being with” and actively seeing the situation through the other’s perspective. Empathy becomes compassion when there is also willingness to act on behalf of the person we love.
Talk about treatment options
Unfortunately, there is still a stigma around mental health issues. Maybe you and your partner think it’s “just a phase” or that sadness can be overcome, without taking into account the difference between being depressed or sad. Perhaps you are not sure if the situation requires professional help. In any case, it is better to get help from the beginning to reduce the duration and severity of the situation.
It has been shown to be effective in treating sadness, one of the symptoms of depression. Although you want to encourage your partner, no, you yourself cannot diagnose him or her or make a treatment plan, but you can. share the idea that help is available. Often, what most encourages people to go to therapy for the first time is not their own intrinsic desire, but the concern of their loved ones.
Express affection and interest
If your partner is sad and feels bad about himself, it is convenient remind her that you love and respect her. Also, it’s okay to share your concerns. You can tell your partner “I love you and I understand that you can’t get out of bed” or “I appreciate you and I need you,” instead of expressing concern that if they don’t wake up things will get much worse.
Listen to your partner without judging
If your partner is sad, they may tend to isolate themselves and not share what is happening to them. However, don’t assume that loneliness is what your partner needs to feel better. One way to reconnect with your partner is when they feel comfortable sharing their experience with you. When your partner says something about his experience and how he is living it, encourage her to share more with you while you listen without judging.
Keep the hope
Sadness often goes hand in hand with hopelessness. Your partner not only has great discomfort, but feels that it will always be like this. Having hope is vital to encourage your partner. If you feel hopeless, you can still choose hope and glimpse a better future. You can even say something like, “I know it seems like it will always be this way and I know you’ve been through some tough things before, but I really hope you’ll overcome this challenge.”
Try to point out his small victories
Generally, people react better to criticism if they have support and . So, when in doubt about what to do when your partner is sad, tTry to focus on your achievements no matter how small they seem.
If your partner hasn’t gotten dressed and one day he does, it’s a big change and should be recognized. You can tell her that you imagine it has been very difficult for her, but that you have noticed that something has changed.
End the myths
Myths about mental health can affect your capacity for compassion and self-pity from your partner. Regarding sadness, there is an especially harmful myth that sadness can be controlled. You may be wondering what’s wrong with my partner and why he can’t do even the most basic tasks. In these cases, your partner may be even harder on themselves and feel like they are worthless.
The thing is, you can’t eliminate sadness on your own, just as you can’t eliminate diabetes on your own. Being sad is not a choice nor a character defect, but rather it is an emotional state that affects the daily lives of people who suffer from it and that may require treatment if it becomes chronic. For all these reasons, supporting your partner in difficult times is very important.
Look for reliable information on the topic
You can’t control whether your partner is sad, so the situation can be desperate and out of control. In these cases, one way to gain a sense of control in your own life is to educate yourself about the issue. To the educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of sadnessyou will be less likely to blame your partner and likely act more compassionately.
In this sense, you will also be more likely to understand what to expect and know where and how to help your partner if they are psychologically unwell. In this article you will find information about.
Don’t forget about yourself
Even if your partner is sad, don’t give up on your interests or your friends. If you don’t take care of her, you will end up resenting her, which can undermine the relationship. While you support your partner, It is vital that you also take care of yourself.
Do what you need to feel good, to be safe, and to stay healthy. Psychological therapy can help you navigate this balance, set healthy boundaries, and not lose yourself.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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References
- Perel, E. (2007). Mating in captivity: Unlocking erotic intelligence (p. 272). New York, NY: Harper.
- Solomon, A. (1998). Anatomy of melancholy. The New Yorker, 21.
Bibliography
- De la Espriella Guerrero, R. (2008). Couples therapy: systemic approach. Colombian Journal of Psychiatry, 37, 175-186.
- Malcom, D.R. (2019). The Critical Role of Self-Compassion and Empathy in Well-Being. American journal of pharmaceutical education, 83(10).