Love is a feeling so deep and great that it is capable of altering the body’s chemistry to such an extent that hormones flood our bloodstream and that gives way to different reactions. The detail is that there is a very thin line between love and obsession, which is often overlooked without measuring the consequences.
Although you may think that love and obsession are the same, the truth is that they are two very different concepts. In healthy relationships, anxiety about the beginning of the relationship disappears over time. Therefore, if you or your partner are not sure what you feel about the relationship, in this Psychology-Online article, we will teach you how to know if it is love or obsession.
What is love
Love is an emotion associated with strong feelings of tenderness, affection and affection that is manifested towards a person or something that is loved. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it is an expression that can have different forms, including signs of care and identification towards others, be it the father, mother, children, partner or friends, among others.
As it is such a broad concept, researchers have proposed different theories to explain , which include passionate, erotic, fraternal love, self-love and other forms that respond to individual perception.
How love is manifested
Love is a feeling that is born voluntarily and that tends to put the well-being of the loved one above all else. It is manifested through pleasant sensations that are experienced when we are in the presence of the loved one. This also includes physical symptoms such as increased oxytocin, increased pulse and heart rate, as well as a feeling of calm and peace.
What is obsession
Obsession is repetitive and intrusive thoughts about a fixed idea, which generate uncontrollable impulses that translate into a state of anxiety and permanent insecurity, when imagining negative scenarios in the relationship. It is a highly toxic idealization where the need for absolute control over the partner arises.
How obsession manifests itself
With obsession, love is confused with sacrifice and total dedication, which includes overlooking the well-being of the couple. Those who suffer from an obsession forget about real life problems and immerse themselves in a spiral of thoughts such as, for example, paranoia about infidelity or estrangement, need to control the couple’s routinesamong other actions that are negative for all types of relationships.
In this article, we tell you.
What are the differences between love and obsession
How do you know if it is love or obsession? At the beginning of relationships, it is difficult to identify whether it is one thing or the other. However, below, you will see the main differences between love and obsession so that, by applying emotional intelligence, you can identify each of these emotions.
- Regarding the consolidation of plans: when there is healthy love in a relationship, the parties can dedicate themselves to achieving their own personal development, regardless of the plans they have as a couple. In this sense, the relationship does not limit personal growth. For its part, obsession tends to restrict individual decisions because it is considered that the couple does not have the right to make their own decisions.
- Regarding communication: love allows people to openly express their emotions, feelings and moods, without the fear that this will fracture the relationship. While, with obsession, communication is limited, since one of the two is afraid to say what they feel. Furthermore, obsessives can hardly start or end the day without talking to the other person, so communication becomes a way to release the obsession.
- Regarding their actions: when love is reciprocal and balanced, all parties give and receive equally, they are not even interested in obtaining anything in return, other than the own well-being of their partner. For his part, who is obsessed, he lives pending giving and giving, so he comes to overwhelm his partner in order to receive his approval at all times.
- Regarding affection and control: although love is linked to displays of affection and affection, it does not imply absolute control of the loved person. Instead, obsession moves from affection to and is linked to a need for authority that has nothing to do with the care and consideration of love.
- Regarding individual space: when there is love, couples respect individual space and try not to interfere in the other person’s decisions, unless requested. With obsession, respect for individual space disappears, which leads to the appearance of jealousy and paranoia about separation.
- Regarding self-esteem: another difference between love and obsession is that relationships based on love are the basis for raising self-esteem, since those involved complement and balance each other to help each other find the best version of themselves. themselves. While obsession causes the other person to be perceived as an element that, if not present, makes life meaningless.
- As for the reason: when a person is obsessed with another, they will not contradict their actions or ideas, even if they are incorrect. This causes us to fall into an idealization that can be very negative. While, in relationships based on healthy love, people feel comfort and confidence to be honest, without falling into abuse or disrespect.
- As for sensations: it is accompanied by strong and comforting emotions such as affection, peace, tranquility, stability, calm, etc. While obsession brings consequences such as the feeling of suffocation, limitation, suffocation and control, which generally leads to anxiety, stress or separation.
- Regarding emotional management: when the person is obsessive, they will not take no for an answer and will not know how to handle rejection. For example, they often threaten a possible breakup or act irrational if the partner asks for a little space. With love, couples can communicate to give each other their own time and even recognize when they are not compatible to let the other follow their path.
- As for time with your loved ones: when couples truly love each other, they will never demand that the other person stay away from their family or friends. But someone who is obsessive will demand all the attention of her partner, to the point of prohibiting him from meeting or dealing with her loved ones.
Likewise, someone who truly loves will make an effort to make you happy, but someone who is obsessive will want to rush everything in the relationship to have absolute control of your life. In short, be careful with obsessive relationships and identify them in time to be able to get out of that harmful cycle.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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References
- Dictionary of the American Society of Psychologists (APA). Definition of love. Available at: https://dictionary.apa.org/love
- Dictionary of the American Society of Psychologists (APA). Definition of obsession. Available at: https://dictionary.apa.org/lovehttps://dictionary.apa.org/obsession
Bibliography
- Brenlla, ME, Brizzio, A., & Carreras, MA (2004). Attitudes towards love and attachment. Psychodebate. Psychology, Culture and Society, (4), 7-23.