Affective relationships are experienced from knowledge about the other person and, in this way, lead to self-knowledge. Affective relationships are part of the formation of one’s own identity and rehearsing links with another being.
Most people, throughout their lives, have established a relationship that has ended with all the emotional implications that the breakup of a relationship entails. In Psychology-Online, we will explain the topic of emotional relationships, the breakup and how to deal with the past called ex of a person with whom an emotional relationship has begun. We will see If it is normal for your partner to keep things from his ex, why he does it and how to act about it.
Why does my partner keep letters, photos and memories from his ex?
For psychology, subjectivity is what is unique and unique to the human being and differs from other people, although at times an idea or opinion may be similar to another person’s perception.
Because it is an individual process of the human being, subjectivity can be positive or negative. From the negative point of view, subjectivity can be loaded with prejudices, from the positive point of view, subjectivity helps the acceptance of ideas and points of view different from one’s own.
In this way, subjectivity in a relationship will be present throughout the emotional relationship and the human being, since it is one’s own perception also based on previous experiences. The fact that a member of the emotional relationship keeps letters and photos of her ex will be marked mainly by the subjectivity of both. Why doesn’t my boyfriend/girlfriend delete the photos with her ex? Why does my girlfriend keep gifts from her ex? Recurring questions that do not have a single answer.
One partner may have a perception of an ex’s memories of acceptance, which does not generate feelings or emotions that cause unpleasantness or discomfort. That is to say, Your partner may have assumed and accepted the end of that relationship. and you can keep letters, photos and memories of your ex because it doesn’t hurt to see them. However, for that person’s new partner it may be something negative, causing discomfort and dissatisfaction.
It is worth mentioning that each person is different and so is each breakup process, so if you want to know why your partner keeps things from their ex, the best option is to ask them. Communication based on assertiveness and the expression of feelings can generate responses to uncertainty. It is important to keep in mind that human beings do not think or react in the same way to the same event, as mentioned above, it depends on the subjectivity of each person.
Is it normal for my partner to keep things from his ex?
It depends on the perception and subjectivity of each person, coupled with the emotional relationships experienced in the past, however, Mental health professionals recommend closing the cycles after the breakup of a relationship. Human beings have a tendency to emotional attachment, especially towards things that are known, although this may imply negative consequences.
Sometimes, fear of the unknown and habits lead to tolerating situations that do not bring benefits to oneself or others. This is why psychologists recommend increasing the ability to let go of situations, thoughts, objects that are not necessary in a person’s life, especially that do not provide positive benefits but on the contrary detract from oneself and others.
Closing the cycles is necessary to start new emotional relationships which is done consciously, moving away from things and situations that may be painful from the point of view of consciousness. Facing changes, reviewing experiences and taking a step forward is the first step to closing cycles in a person’s life.
Once achieved, a balance is generated in the life of the person who has decided to close the cycle and allows them to visualize the positive and complex experiences that have been lived in that emotional relationship and from there generate learning that does not include emotional attachment.
What should be done with gifts from an ex-partner?
Autonomy is the individual’s ability to make choices, make decisions and assume the consequences thereof. What should be done with gifts from an ex-partner is the person’s own decision.
- As mentioned earlier, If it is a relationship where the cycle is closed and feelings of guilt, sadness or anger towards the ex-partner are not influenced, it does not cause discomfort to keep the gifts or property left in that relationship.
- On the contrary, if the cycle has not been closed and there is an emotional attachment towards the ex-partner, it is advisable to do a self-examination of the situation and know what benefits it brings to keep the gifts of that person who is no longer in the emotional relationship. Everything will depend on the subjectivity of each person and especially if the past relationship was closed or the emotional cycle is still open.
If your partner has not closed the cycle with his ex-partner or the opposite is the case with you, it is advisable to attend psychological help to close the emotional ties of the past and start a new emotional process without ghosts of the past.
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This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Sequera, N. (2014). Community and health. Retrieved from:http://ve.scielo.org/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S1690-32932014000100009