There are times, such as adolescence, when it is normal for a child to prefer to spend more time with friends or with people who treat him or her as an equal. It is a complicated stage in which they are no longer children, but not adults either.
Sometimes they feel misunderstood by the adult since this requires contradictory responsibilities, sometimes as an adult and, sometimes, still as a child. Despite this, we must differentiate when there is real hatred towards the parental figure in order to know what to do, since it is something that can cause a lot of discomfort as a father or mother. If you want to know more about the possible reasons for this situation and what to do, in this Psychology-Online article, we explain why your daughter hates you so much and what to do or how to act.
Why does a daughter hate her mother or father?
Why does my daughter reject me? There are stages of life in which it is normal for there to be more conflicts between parents and children, without this necessarily implying hatred towards parental figures. Simply, they don’t feel understood. However, when hatred towards a parent or adoptive or foster parents is real, the reasons can be varied.
Next, we show you the different causes of why a daughter hates her mother or her father.
- Feeling of abandonment: some circumstances, such as parental divorce, can make the child feel abandoned by the person who is leaving, creating a feeling of helplessness in him/her and thinking that he/she is leaving because he/she does not want to have a greater relationship with him or her. she. They make you feel part of the problem, even if that was not the intention. This happens, especially, when the children are younger.
- They have suffered abuse or have seen a loved one abused: Abuse is something that remains engraved in the mind of a minor and will affect them for life. If this abuse comes from the father or mother, it is normal to generate feelings of hatred towards him or her. Just as if it is the father who mistreats the mother or another member, or vice versa.
- Lack of attention in childhood: It is considered a type of abuse that, in turn, can generate a feeling of abandonment in it. It provokes hatred in the person responsible for this lack of attention.
- They have felt deceived or betrayed: Being sincere and honest with your children at all times is very important, even if the topic is delicate, since upon learning the truth this hatred for having deceived them could appear. These types of situations can occur, for example, when there is a death of a loved one or pet and it is not explained or one is not completely honest with it. We can also see it in adopted girls who find out when they are older.
How a daughter acts who doesn’t want to know anything about her mother
When a daughter does not want to know anything about her mother, she may show the following attitudes:
- slightsboth verbal and non-verbal.
- Ignore to the mother or father.
- Avoidanceespecially the moments when they have to be alone.
- Bad faces.
- Lack of signs of affection and darling.
In this article, we tell you.
What to do if my daughter hates me so much
If you notice that your daughter shows a great feeling of hatred towards you, you can follow some of these tips:
- Analyze the cause: It is important, first of all, to know the reason why your child hates you at this moment. Knowing what could have happened will be the first step in finding a solution to the conflict.
- Communication: Express how you feel about it and give him/her space so that your child can also do so with complete sincerity. Let this not be a time to reproach anything. Try to be able to express how you feel with an open heart. In this article you will find some that may come in handy.
- try to understand it: When he explains the reasons for his hatred towards you, or even when you see some of his behavior, try to understand what he is trying to tell you, whether through words or gestures. , paying full attention to what he is telling you.
- Spend more time together and give him space when he needs it: When you are in the process of solving it, it is also important to dedicate time to be together to improve your relationship, while it is also important to give him permission to have that space.
- Don’t be more permissive than usual: A very common mistake in these cases is that in order to be good with your children and establish a better relationship, you begin to be more permissive. Remember that you are her mother, not her friend and, although it is important that she has a good relationship with you and trusts you, you must educate her and that means setting limits at certain times.
- Also look out for your well-being: Although you want to solve things with your daughter, you must also look out for yourself and take care of yourself to offer good care to her. If you are not well, it is very difficult to be able to take care of another person.
- Be patient: It may be that the solution and its results do not come to light immediately. They may take a few days, weeks or even months. Do not rush.
- Offer your help and show your willingness to solve things: If he sees that you want to solve the problem, he will surely show a greater willingness to collaborate, as well as seek outside help if necessary.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Guerra, G. (2003). Adequate communication. CEDECOG Virtual Magazine.
- Labrador, FJ, (ed.) (2008). Behavior modification techniques. Madrid. Pyramid
- Toro, V., (November 1, 2019). My daughter hates me. Conflicts with your teenage daughter. About SPANISH.