Trust is one of the most fundamental human experiences. In fact, if this feeling does not exist in any type of social relationship, it will hardly be maintained or consolidated over time, since it is not deep or sincere. However, sometimes it is not so simple to openly trust all the people around us, especially if we have been victims of abuse and betrayal.
Now, when people are very distrustful, they are always alert because they think that others have a sinister motive to approach them and harm them. This fact implies the anticipation of discomfort, a hostile attitude and the immediate predisposition to the slightest social friction. If you think that there are these types of individuals around you, in this Psychology-Online article we will tell you why there are distrustful people and how to treat them so that you learn to manage them more effectively.
What are distrustful people like?
Distrustful people have certain associated characteristics, such as being cold, rigid, lonely and very distant. Sometimes, disappointment and betrayal are often the root of the problem. Among the most common signs of distrustful people we find the following:
- They express themselves with resentment, hatred or frustration.
- They maintain few relationships and these tend to be very unstable and conflictive.
- They feel anxious when they are in the presence of friends or family.
- They are afraid of physical intimacy.
- They believe that everyone is malicious and deceitful.
- They live in a state of total alert to analyze every detail of those around them. They pay attention to the body movements, words and actions of other people.
- They usually cross their arms, touch their chin or nose, and even intertwine their fingers as a sign of distrust.
Distrust is a completely valid response at specific times, since it activates the response to threatening stimuli. However, the real problem appears when it becomes a generalized state that dominates the individual, affecting their daily life and their coexistence with others.
Why people are distrustful
People do not become distrustful overnight, but the change develops progressivelyfollowing a pattern of stages that usually begins at very early ages through the relationship with direct caregivers.
What is behind a distrustful person? One of the first stages that gives way to distrust is doubt which, if not resolved, leads to suspicion and a state of constant anxiety. In addition to that, some of the reasons for people to be distrustful are the following:
- They have a excess and overprotective parenting on the part of the parents.
- Were victim of betrayalharassment or situations that affected their self-esteem.
- They suffer or suffered from social rejectionwhich also affects the capacity for personal confidence.
- In more serious cases, distrust arises after suffering physical or mental abuse which cause him to develop a closed and extremely distrustful attitude towards life situations.
Some people who have suffered these types of situations are able to turn the page and learn from their experiences. However, many others get stuck in what happened to them and do not give themselves the opportunity to heal, so they associate everyone with someone who is treacherous. This hostile attitude intoxicates your mental state, keeps you in a condition of constant hyperalert and causes people to become distrustful.
How to deal with distrustful people
As you can see, the problem with distrustful people is with them, not with you. Therefore, it is necessary that you learn to deal with them so that their attitude does not end up affecting you and keep your inner balance stable. To do this, the first step is to avoid falling into arguments with them and make them understand that you are not lying.
How is distrust manifested? Distrustful people will never believe you, since they only want to hear their own truth. Try not to be so harsh in your judgment and remember that distrust is a product of previous situations. Instead, Try to understand that person, but without letting them dominate your own judgment.
Cultivate to regain the feeling of control over your own thoughts, this way your self-esteem will increase and you will not let the distrust of others affect you. You don’t need to distance yourself completely, but keep an appropriate distance so that your emotions don’t affect you excessively.
Finally, if you want to help a person with distrust, maintain an objective focus so that you can understand that there are still good individuals in the world who can be fully trusted.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Bravo, MJS, & Serrano, MCE (2011). Trust-mistrust in the marital relationships of transnational couples. Prospective: Journal of Social Work and Social Intervention, (16), 225-256.
- Sandoval, M. (2012). The distrust of young people: substrate of social unrest. Last decade. vol.20 no.36 Santiago. Chili. https://www.scielo.cl/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S0718-22362012000100003