There are various factors that lead a person to want to flirt or flirt with another person, whether or not they have an established partner. Flirting is part of a suggestion or innuendo, whether romantic or sexual. It is a way of attracting the attention of a person that motivates them to carry out an action, whether sexual, friendship or an emotional relationship.
During insinuation or flirtation, the person uses a series of expressions or verbal and body language unconsciously and consciously respectively. That is to say, on many occasions the person who flirts with another person can use body language that they are not aware of, such as the movement of their hands, the position of their head, where they look and even the position of their feet. But if you are conscious when using words in a seductive or insinuating way to get the other person’s attention. In Psychology-Online, we will expand the topic to learn from an objective and scientific point of view why a person with a partner flirts with another.
Does a person in love notice another?
He infatuation is the emotional state dominated by joy, where a woman or man you are attracted to another person of the same sex or of the opposite sex, which produces physical, emotional and intellectual satisfaction in the other person. From an organic point of view, it is a biochemical process which has its bases in the cerebral cortex, passing through the endocrine system and is transformed into physiological responses and chemical changes originating in the hypothalamus, thus secreting the neurotransmitter of the .
Falling in love is based on certain behaviors observable through gestures and communication and begins through physical attraction that later transitions to personal attraction. In this stage, The person is flooded with intense emotions and strong desires to stay with the person they are in love with. Passion and desire become the main point of this stage.
Understanding and comprehension are present at this stage, discussions and conflicts that could damage the beginning of the relationship are avoided, so this stage is the discovery of the other, it is special and exciting and both (if reciprocated) do not They would like it to end. Additionally, the other person is idealized, so there are no eyes to visualize another person at this stage. Thus, we conclude that the most common and expected thing is that a woman or man in love does not notice another person.
In this article, we explain the .
Signs of flirting
What is fooling around with a person? How do you know if two people are fooling around? Flirting is not only accompanied by a conscious or unconscious action, but also by a series of biochemical reactions that unleash observable and palpable physical effects, for example blushingis one of the most frequent and observable biochemical responses as part of the release of adrenaline, causing a increased body temperature creating a reddish tone in various areas of the body (cheeks, ears, chest).
In the same way, it produces a release of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and generates a calming effect. sweating in the palms of the handsexcitement such as penile erection in men and vaginal lubrication in women.
There are some gestures, posture and physiological signs that can be observed during flirting or flirting with another person, such as prolonged eye contact, winking, touching hair, exposing part of the body, smiling suggestively, complimenting compliments, showing an attitude of modesty, tenderness, attracting attention with clothing, establish conversations, resort to jokes, relate events that lead to humor, kindness, sending notes, poems or gifts, among others.
Why does a person fool around with another even if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Why do we like to fool around? The main objective of flirting or “flirting” is to get the other person’s attention. and thus achieve social interaction, whether with the benefit of a relationship or simply an interest on a sexual level. Not all people who flirt do so with the benefit of get a temporary sexual relationshipthey also do it for establish a romantic relationship.
Within a relationship, there may be various factors that lead one of the members to flirt with others or other people:
- Emotional, personal and sexual dissatisfaction that is experienced during the relationship.
- The sensation of the new and new that involves another person (unstable people).
- sexual excitement, the experience of experiencing a sexual act with another person and the excitement that this implies.
- Relationship problems: During a relationship, communication problems may arise, feeling undervalued, desired and attractive…
- The culture of immediacy: The author Bauman (2005), cited by (Espinoza, A. Correa, F., García, L. Barragan 2014), mentions the term liquid love and highlights that “contemporary society has an orientation aimed at individualism, where The greatest importance lies in the almost immediate satisfaction of needs, a vision oriented in the here and now, in which relationships with a low level of commitment stand out.
- Little commitment in relationships: Bauman refers to the analogy of the liquid as a natural element that constantly changes and hardly maintains its shape. Certainly, in this postmodern society, the bonds of interpersonal relationships are fragile and not only in romantic relationships, but also in friendships and work relationships.
Is flirting infidelity?
Now, as mentioned at the beginning of the article, there are various factors that lead a person to flirt with another even though they are in a relationship. Is it normal to fool around with someone when you have a partner? When can it be considered infidelity? For many authors, this type of flirting or flirting is part of the beginning of infidelity.. Infidelity is the manifestation of a lack of faith in a promise or a thought. It implies the lack of constancy or firmness of affection, ideas and commitment. When infidelity is established in an emotional relationship, it establishes the breaking of a commitment which can be marriage, courtship or common law union.
Types of infidelity
For the authors González, J., Martínez-Taboas, A., Martínez, D. (2009), infidelity can often be emotional or sexual and have a considerable impact on the couple.
- The sexual infidelity It occurs from a plane that concerns only the sexual act, for the authors, without or with the consent of their partner.
- The emotional infidelity The opposite occurs, and it is when time, attention, romance and expression of affection are dedicated to the other person who is not the primary partner.
In the following article, we talk about all the .
What to do when you discover that your partner flirts with other people?
When you discover that your partner is flirting with another person, it is advisable face the situation calmly and establish assertive communication at all times and emotional in the face of what has been observed.
Time to calm down
On many occasions, facing the situation produces fear and uncertainty, which is why it is advisable take time to meditate and calm your emotionsbut by feeling prepared rationally and emotionally to face the situation.
Manage blame
One of the important aspects to keep in mind is that you must know that, at the moment of discovering flirting, feelings of guilt will arise and it is important to know that it is a decision freely made by the couple. The couple’s relationship may be going through moments of discomfort or disagreement, but It is the responsibility of the person who carries out the action of flirting. with another or another.
Clarify before judging
An important point to highlight is that sometimes the couple’s actions can be misinterpreted, so it is advisable to clarify the situation before passing a judgment or making an erroneous interpretation of something that was not properly observed.
Couple therapy
Seek support from a professional It is one of the most sensible and effective behaviors that can be done when discovering someone flirting with another person. Delicacy, confidentiality and scientific arguments will be the bases for the beginning of a couple and individual reconstruction process.
Psychological therapy
Self-esteem tends to suffer damage at the moment of knowing that the couple is flirting with another person, so professional help is recommended to avoid self-devaluation and progressively psychological alterations that disturb the proper functioning of the body, emotions and social relationships.
What to do if you write to me but have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
It could also happen that you are the person with whom someone with a partner flirts. And in that case, it is normal for you to ask yourself “why does a boy/girl who has a boyfriend flirt with me?” After seeing the main causes and better understanding why a person flirts with another person even if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, let’s see what you can do if a person who is in a relationship flirts with you:
- Be honest: Sincerity is the basic principle to establish what is desired, it is considered a positive aspect of a person.
- Express what you think: The ability to openly express what one wants is an aspect that is valued by others but above all by the person themselves.
- Assess the situation: Each person has the free will to make decisions in the face of events, this time it is between entering into a relationship with a person who is already in a relationship or not belonging to a relationship of this type. Before making a decision of this type, it is important to know the advantages and consequences that the actions taken will bring.
Additionally, if you choose to be part of a third party in a relationship, it is important to know that you have certain limitations, a different situation that occurs in a relationship. When analyzing the context, you must question whether you are able to tolerate the situation and from such analysis make decisions.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why does a person with a partner flirt with another?we recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Espinoza, A. Correa, F., García, L. Barragan (2014). Social perception of infidelity and love styles in couples. Retrieved from: https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/292/29232614008.pdf
- González, J., Martínez-Taboas, A., Martínez, D.(2009. Psychological factors associated with sexual and/or emotional infidelity and its relationship to sensation seeking in Puerto Rican couples1. Retrieved from: https://www .redalyc.org/pdf/2332/233216361004.pdf
- López, C. (December 10, 2019). Bodily. Recovered from:…