When do NARCISSISTS QUIT? – Narcissism as a couple

He narcissism It is a personality disorder, called narcissistic personality disorder, which according to the DSM-5 (2013) is characterized by having an air of grandeur, a need for admiration and a lack of empathy. In addition, they tend to be envious or believe that they are envied and believe they are special and unique. This can make if you have a relationship, it becomes quite complicated. Your partner may feel insecure, misunderstood, and not quite knowing what to do in order to make the relationship work.

Narcissists in their relationship have the need to control everything and have very little tolerance for frustration. Not seeing each other when he wants, or doing what he wants can be a cause of conflict. They tend to use their partners to achieve certain goals. In addition, they tend to show a lot of jealousy, which can mean the end of the relationship on many occasions.

If you are thinking that your partner may be a narcissist, then in Psychology-Online we will see not only what a narcissist is like with his partner in more detail, but also when he ends up ending the relationship and we will also see what are the best ways to treat him. a narcissist in a relationship. Keep reading to find out When do narcissists abandon their partners?.

What is a narcissist like with his partner?

As we already mentioned, a narcissist has a constant need for admiration, so your partner must constantly be aware of enhancing you and attending to all your needs. Furthermore, they have jealousy of anyone else of your partner’s life, even if he or she is a family member. On the other hand, he usually checks all the social networks or the people his partner messages with, all in order to feel like you are in control and that he will not lose his partner.

Furthermore, to get what he wants, he makes constants to his partner so that, for example, they do not leave him, or so that his partner stops seeing someone and this adds to the fact that doesn’t take no for an answer. On the other hand, he is a person with very superstitious thoughts, he believes that what he dreams about, for example, that his partner is unfaithful to him, has actually happened, or that if it rains it is because they are going to argue.

Finally, tends to show what he feels in the opposite way So, when he is angry, he is exaggeratedly charming and it is common that, in addition to loving his partner, he also has feelings of hatred when he is angry towards him. In the following article you will find more information about .

When does a narcissist leave?

As we mentioned, a narcissist has the constant fear of being abandoned, so it is unusual for them to end a relationship. In the event that his partner has decided to end it, he tries to continue maintaining a bond, so he continues calling, writing and trying not to lose contact. In this article we explain.

Furthermore, due to the perception they have of themselves, they prefer to be left in order not to break the image they have and thus proclaim themselves a victim and not guilty of the end of the relationship. That is why, even if your partner has not treated you appropriately and has harmed you, They will not abandon their partner because it goes against their moral code.

How to treat a narcissist?

How should I treat my narcissistic partner? What is the ideal partner of a narcissist like? How to unmask a narcissist? We see the main guidelines for treating a narcissistic person:

  • A narcissist, as we have mentioned before, needs to be praised constantly, however, we should only do it if he really deserves said praise and not enter into his dynamic. In the same way, When it comes to criticizing, you have to do it very gradually. and insisting that you are talking about a specific act and not about him as a person. In this article you will find more information about the.
  • On the other hand, their criticisms should not be taken into account in the event that he is belittling you, since they are part of his disorder due to his need to feel superior.
  • If, furthermore, you do not feel understood, understand that they have many difficulties putting yourself in the shoes of others.
  • Another piece of advice for living with a narcissist is not to let yourself be controlled, you must learn to live without having control of everything.
  • It is important the help from a professional. However, this is very complicated since they are people who find it difficult to accept mistakes. A good time to do this may be after a life moment in which your ego is damaged, such as a layoff.
  • Keep your emotions in balance so that he does not feel that he has power over you and manages to take you to his territory.
  • If he tries to criticize you, explain that you do not agree with his criticism and that you value your achievements. Be very firm, and if he sees that he cannot control you emotionally, he will throw in the towel and not continue trying.
  • Try to understand him. This may be because of how his parents were with him when he was little or because he has experienced other difficult situations. There are many and it can be due to different causes.
  • Help him put himself in your place making him understand, with respect, the consequences of his actions and how he would feel if you had done the same thing.
  • Reinforce when they do something well. They have a hard time admitting fault or thanking someone for something, so when they do, emphasize it and let them know how much you appreciate them doing it.
  • Offer a kinder world. If they feel safe with you, they may be able to relax and not show such a need to control the supposed dangers facing the relationship.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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References

  1. American Psychiatric Association (APA). (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR. Barcelona: Masson.

Bibliography

  • Freud, S. (1895). A psychology project for neurologists. Publishing alliance
  • Kernberg, O. (1992). Narcissistic pathology today. In VI National Congress of the Spanish Society of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Psychotherapy (SEPYPNA). Barcelona.
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