One of the most difficult situations that a couple can face is experiencing infidelity. This can mean breaking a very basic pillar in a relationship, trust, and that is why we are attacked by doubts about what to do when our partner cheats on us and even more so if he does it on several occasions.
In this Psychology-Online article we want to help you clarify what to do when your partner cheats on you several times. We will explain the reasons why infidelities usually occur, the causes that lead someone to lie and hide infidelity, why infidelities and lies are repeated and how you can deal with this situation.
Why a partner cheats on you
After a lie, the most normal thing is that you ask yourself why: Why has your partner cheated on you? Why has he been unfaithful to you? Why infidelity occurs in marriage or in a couple:
To feel the emotion
There are people who like the adrenaline of being with another person while having a partner and having to do everything in a way that doesn’t get you caught. Maybe that adrenaline you feel when you cheat on your partner is the same one that makes you do it more than once.
Due to the lack of passion in the relationship
One of the things that can lead a person who has a relationship to get involved with another person is the lack of passion in the relationship, perhaps they feel distanced from the partner in the most passionate area and it is the first thing you find in a lover Even so, it is worth mentioning that even if the passion in the relationship has deteriorated a little, you should always be able to communicate and talk about it with your partner.
To meet needs
Perhaps the relationship does not satisfy the needs you have, and when talking about needs, the emphasis is not only on sexual needs, there are many other needs that a relationship must cover reciprocally. If these are not covered, it may happen that the person looks outside the relationship and that led them to commit infidelities on more than one occasion.
To test yourself
Maybe he has doubts about your relationship and the way to reaffirm wanting to be with you is by being with other people and finally thinking that the person I have next to is the one I am better with. If at any time you feel that the person next to you needs constant reaffirmation of your love and is looking for it, it is important to adopt a proactive attitude and think about whether you really deserve this.
Because there is no love
Perhaps the person is no longer in love with you and that leads them to go with other people. On the other hand, we generally find a lack of love along with an emotional dependence that leads them to want to have someone by their side and not want to be alone. /to.
Out of revenge or anger
Maybe your partner’s way of expressing his anger is to go to other people. It should be taken into account that it is by no means the best way to do so.
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Why a person is unfaithful and denies it
There are two main reasons that lead someone to deny that they have committed infidelity:
Fear of consequences
It is one of the most frequent, the fear that when the couple confirms the infidelity committed, it will put an end to the relationship, which is why they will try to prolong the lie as long as they can.
The immaturity
Maturity involves taking responsibility for the acts committed and assuming the consequences of them. Lying about an act you have already done is not wanting to assume the consequences of your actions.
What to do if your partner cheats on you and denies it? In this article we explain how to act if .
Why does a person cheat on you repeatedly?
To understand why infidelity is committed again and again, it may be interesting to first know the . The reasons that lead him to cheat on you repeatedly are:
Have the opportunity to do it
Perhaps your partner cheats on you repeatedly because the person with whom he or she commits infidelity is also willing to take on the role of lover and likes to occupy this position.
Lack of self-esteem
Lack of self-esteem can lead us to commit acts that morally harm other people. Perhaps you can try to find another person who also notices him or her and thus reinforce it.
For call the atention
It may be an unhealthy way for your partner to try to get your attention, perhaps seeking attention not received by your partner from someone else.
lack of feeling
It is one of the most frequent reasons that lead a couple to be unfaithful, not feeling what they should feel but at the same time not having the courage to let go of who you have by your side.
What to do when a person is unfaithful several times
How to act when faced with the repetition of infidelity? In the event of a second (or more) deception, we recommend the following:
1. Let off steam
It is important that you do not keep this repeated situation that you are experiencing to yourself, but that you look for someone you trust – family member, friend, co-worker – to tell them about your concerns, doubts and discomfort. Remember that shared sorrows are less sorrow. In addition, the vision of a third person can help you see things in another way or from another perspective.
2. Value yourself
Someone who cheats on you several times is not someone who is showing you the respect you deserve, so it is important that you value yourself and see that perhaps the person next to you is not knowing how to see the person you are or is not valuing or respecting you. what he has at his side.
3. Listen to yourself
Listen to your feelings and what the situation of constant deception makes you feel. Think and evaluate if you deserve this in your life and if you really want to fight for a relationship and ask yourself if the person next to you would also fight the same for you. Pay attention to the signals that your body sends you and Don’t continue doing something that doesn’t make you feel good..
4. Talk to your partner
Have an honest conversation with your partner about infidelities. What to say to your partner when he or she has been unfaithful to you? Try to listen to what it says and also explain how it makes you feel and what generates these behaviors in you.
5. Put an end
In the face of repeated deception, the option that may be the most painful at first, but in the end the most liberating is to put an end to the relationship with the other person. Don’t get stuck in something that doesn’t make you happy., remember that although it may be painful at first, there are always more paths than you can imagine. In these articles you will find very useful information to know and. Don’t forget that you can go to professionals to help you overcome infidelity, strengthen your self-esteem and feel good about yourself.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Lipovestsky, G. (1999). The third woman. Anagram. Barcelona. fifty.
- Luhmann, N. (1985). Love as passion: the codification of intimacy. Peninsula Publishing. Barcelona.
- Luyens, M. and Vansteenwegen, A. (2001). Therapeutic interventions in couples with problems due to extramarital affairs: a phase model. Argentine Journal of Human Sexuality. Year XV. No. 1. P. 7-16. Buenos Aires. 52.
- Mackay, J. (2000). Foreword in The Penguin Atlas of Human Sexual Behavoir. Autrement Atlas de la sexualite dans le monde. Der Fischer Atlas Sexualitat.