Today there are many types of relationships in which monogamy is not the only norm for establishing romantic relationships. Times have changed and with them the way of looking for a relationship, of loving and being loved. Consequently, if you are in a relationship and he has recently asked or suggested opening the relationship, it is normal that you will have many doubts about it.
So that you can better understand and process the situation, in this Psychology-Online article, we will give you some very effective tips to know what to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship and react assertively.
What is an open relationship
An open relationship is an intimate relationship in which participants are involved with other people, in addition to his partner. Open relationships are generally consensual by all people involved and require a high level of communication and respect. These types of relationships can take many different forms, but they all involve a certain level of openness and honesty between partners.
Additionally, they can be a great option for those looking for greater sexual satisfaction or simply a more diverse experience. However, each case is different and open relationships can also be very complicated and do not always have happy endings. For this reason, if your partner asks you to have an open relationship, It is important that you take your time to think about whether it’s something you really want.
Here are 10 tips on what to do if your partner asks you for an open relationship.
Think about what you really want
One of the first things you should do if your partner asks you to have an open relationship is analyze what you want. It is not good for you to enter into a non-monogamous dynamic just to please another person, since the consequences of this decision can be counterproductive.
Therefore, if you are willing to try new experiences it should be only because both you and your partner have committed to being honest with each other. If, on the other hand, you are not sure if an open relationship is what you want, you can talk to your partner about your doubts and concerns.
Find information about the types of open couples
Once you have analyzed whether or not you want to participate in an open couple, the next step is find enough information about the types of open couples that exist. For example, in addition to typical open relationships, there are also swinger couples, among others, each of them with their own characteristics.
The idea is that you identify with the one you feel most comfortable with to really enjoy the situation.
Make Sure You’re Ready to Face the Challenges of an Open Relationship
An open relationship can be very rewarding, but also very challenging. For this reason, make sure you are ready to face the challenges of an open relationship, before making the decision to start one. That is, you must evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of this type of relationship, since the consequences arise in the long run.
For example, if you start an open relationship without feeling comfortable, you will most likely end up frustrated with the relationship.
Don’t start an open relationship to fix your own relationship.
If you are going to start an open relationship as a desperate attempt to fix your current relationship, we already tell you not to do it. This decision it will be a vain effortsince you cannot fix what is already broken by opening the relationship.
Define the boundaries of the open relationship
Do you want to know what to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship? It is important that you and your partner define the limits of the open relationship before starting it. This will help ensure that everyone is on the same wavelength and prevent problems in the future. For this, their expectations and needs must be communicated very well. That is to say, make sure your partner knows what you want and you need the relationship and vice versa.
Likewise, it is important to establish acceptable limits in which honesty and sincerity are present at all times. This includes the type of information you want to share, whether you can have sexual relations with other people, how to organize special dates or the protection and prevention of STDs, among other important aspects. You can even have regular checks on the agreements to evaluate whether the rules have been followed.
If you are interested in knowing more about setting limits in your relationship, you can read the article.
Accept that things can change
Another aspect that you should take into account if your partner asks you for an open relationship is assume that things can change. Some of the boundaries you have set may change over time, and it is important to be prepared for this.
In any case, it will be something new in your relationship that, like any important change, can have significant results in your life.
Respect the other person’s boundaries
If you are in an open relationship, it is important that you be honest with yourself and your partner. If there is no honesty, both of you are likely to hurt each other. Likewise, it is important that you respect your partner’s boundaries and not do anything that could hurt him or make him feel uncomfortable. Therefore, do not force him to do something he is not prepared for or limit his needs.
Visualize the situation
Visualization is a technique that will allow you to project your expectations Of future. In fact, this is an effective way to experience the . For example, imagine your partner kissing another person, caressing him or her, or simply sharing time with him or her romantically and evaluate how you are going to feel in those situations.
That way, you can assess whether or not you are ready to enter a truly open relationship.
Seek external support
It doesn’t hurt that, before embarking on such an unpredictable journey, you lean on groups of couples or some specialist on these types of topics that help you clarify all the doubts that may arise. With this type of guidance, both you and your partner will be able to explore your needs and even improve your communication skills.
Reflect on what to do
Also, don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to do. If you are not sure if you want to have an open relationship, you do not have to agree. Therefore, if your partner asks you for an open relationship, It is important that you take your time to think In itself, it’s something you really want.
If you ultimately decide that an open relationship is what you want, make sure you are ready to face the challenges that come with it and that you communicate your needs and expectations clearly.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Taormino, T. (2020). Opening up: A guide to creating and maintaining open relationships. melusine.
- Carrillo, A., Espinoza, M., Gutiérrez, IR, & Cortés, JM (2019). Willingness to participate in consensual non-monogamous relationships. Electronic Journal of Psychology of the FES Zaragoza-UNAM, 9(17), 27-34.