Feeling unloved in a relationship is a feeling that anyone can experience. However, it is more typical of long relationships where routine and boredom can take their toll.
Everyone likes to feel loved. Not perceiving this affection may be related to the couple’s actions or external factors, but also to internal problems of the affected person themselves that go beyond the relationship.
Some warning signs
- You invest much more energy than your partner and you carry the weight of the relationship in almost every aspect.
- Your sex life has been altered.
- Your partner does not initiate sexual encounters or moments of intimacy.
- You have perceived disinterest in physical contact.
- You have noticed a lack of interest in sharing time with you.
- Doesn’t recognize your achievements.
- You don’t feel heard.
Causes and triggers of that feeling
There are different reasons that can lead you to feel unwanted. Some refer directly to yourself beyond the relationship. For example:
- Jealousy
- Unsafety
- Sexual incompatibility
- Unresolved traumas
- Previous experiences of rejection by your partner
However, there are other reasons focused entirely on your partner, since it may seem that he no longer loves you when, in reality, it is another problem that affects his life and that prevents him from expressing affection. For example:
- Stress
- Anxiety
- Depression
- low libido
- Self-esteem problems
- Attachment problems
- Bad streak at work
- Mental or physical exhaustion
How to resolve this situation?
What can you do to find a solution to this problem? We have already seen that the causes can be diverse and come from different sources.
Reflect on the feeling of not feeling loved in relation to yourself
Could it be that your jealousy, your feelings of insecurity or other personal problems are interfering with your relationship? It is time to reflect to try to isolate the cause and try to find a solution.
Do you value yourself?
Maybe you are looking for that appreciation in your partner that you yourself are not capable of providing. The first thing is to value yourself, be clear about your emotional independence, without trying to monopolize all of your partner’s attention. You must also be able to recognize your achievements, avoiding excessive self-demand. The health of your relationship also depends on each member being able to love each other.
Talk to your partner
It’s not about blaming, attacking or reproaching, but rather having a conversation about what you feel, about how each of you perceives the problem (if both parties perceive it), and how you both feel about it.
What are the causes of the loss of interest on your part, if it exists? Do you think there is anything you can do to solve it? You can try to improve communication, dedicate more time to being together, etc. Anything you can think of to improve the relationship.
Keep the passion alive
Long-term relationships tend to become more boring and less exciting. It is important to renew romantic and sexual energy. Go out together again, have dinner at a romantic restaurant, prepare a special dinner at home, try new things in your sex life, special details that can inject intensity into your intimate life.
And when to go to couples therapy?
If self-reflection and conversation with your partner have not helped to improve the situation, the solution may come from the . Either to get your relationship back on track or to make the decision to separate.
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