Dialogue is one of the keys to communication in a relationship. However, emotional responses can be varied in different situations. For example, it may happen that you have the initiative and willingness to talk to your partner, while your partner responds with his silence. This form of action responds to a scheme that shows a type of manipulation and blackmail that hurts.
Whoever acts in this way falls into the trap of believing that he is absolutely right about the situation. He positions himself in silence, in the absence of words, from the wrong perspective of thinking that the other person can interpret and deduce exactly what he wants and what he needs. “What to do if my partner doesn’t talk to me?“, if you have asked yourself this question on more than one occasion, at Psicologia-Online we help you find the answer.
Why does my partner get angry and stop talking to me?
In consultation it is common to hear phrases like “my boyfriend doesn’t talk to me”, “my partner doesn’t talk to me”, “he got angry and doesn’t talk to me”, “my girlfriend doesn’t talk to me”, “why isn’t she talking to me?” ?”, “my partner ignores me”, “my boyfriend is angry with me and doesn’t talk to me”, etc. Some people take silence as a reaction to anger and that confuses and bothers their partners.
It is appropriate for each person to establish their own strategy for themselves. Some people, after an argument or anger, need a time of silence or calm to relax and continue the conversation at another time. If you haven’t spoken to your partner for days, it is neither appropriate nor best for the relationship. The lack of communication prevents the occurrence and worsens the situation.
Why don’t you talk to me
If your partner has stopped talking to you and you don’t know the reason for his attitude, it is normal for you to ask yourself: Why isn’t he talking to me? Below we will explain why your partner behaves this way.
Through silence he positions himself on the defensive. But, in addition, also avoid facing the problem in an adult way. When your partner chooses silence, he leaves you alone in the face of that fact and closes the door to any collaboration since when you ask him questions he does not respond.
This situation inevitably hurts and is even more uncomfortable when both have already given. Then, silence becomes a tool to hurt others in the different meetings of the day.
The psychological game of confusion is latent since it may even happen that you ask him if he is angry and yet he denies it with a categorical “no.” A monosyllable that follows the line of that silence freely adopted from immaturity.
The risk of this type of behavior is that the person does not express what is happening to him, while the partner also ignores this fact. In this way, from the same event, each one has totally different readings. And if these interpretations are not put in common, a lack of understanding.
What to do when your partner doesn’t talk
What to do when your partner ignores you? If your partner doesn’t talk to you, don’t give in to blackmail. How can you act if you live in a situation like this? Here we explain what to do when your partner doesn’t talk:
1. Complacency is not the solution
This type of situation generates so much discomfort that the person who lives with his or her partner may adopt the attitude of complacency as a means to end the distancing. The risk of this response is that, when a couple repeats this pattern of behavior, does not solve the conflict TRUE.
The desire to please your partner leads you to prioritize their needs while ignoring yours. This type of emotional sacrifice produces an effect of inequality in the relationship because by acting in this way, you reinforce your partner instead of correcting his attitude. It is best to let him know that this behavior is not appropriate through the .
2. Don’t let yourself be conditioned by guilt
In a situation of this type, it is important that you look at what happened in perspective so as not to let yourself be contaminated on an emotional level by the feeling of guilt that you may experience. Wait for your partner to change his attitude to talk calmly about what happened. You can assertively express to him that when he wants to talk about what happened, you will be happy to do so.
3. Be patient
What to do when your partner doesn’t talk? Do not enter into the psychological dynamic of begging for forgiveness because if you are at that point, everyone has to do their part to correct errors. Be patient and wait until your partner shows a new attitude. What exactly does it mean to be patient? Continue with your life, continue with the normality of your routine. That is, continue taking care of other aspects and issues of your existence that are also important to you and demand your attention.
Then it is a good time to talk not only about what happened, but also about their behavior and how it has made you feel. You can give specific examples focused on describing external facts instead of taking the evaluations to the personal level.
4. Establish your conclusions
This situation can help you reflect on your expectations positive in the relationship. In that case, you can openly state what your limits and needs are. For example, your partner deserves respect, but you deserve it too.
If this situation of silence in the conflict is repeated frequently and your partner shows a different attitude when he or she repents, the help of a professional may be necessary to resolve it. However, by itself, this dynamic does not lead to empathy but to distance because the resentment that is generated between both is increasing.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Cañete, EP, & Novas, FP (2012). Resolution of relationship conflicts in adolescents, sexism and emotional dependence.
- Morfa, J.D. (2003). Prevention of relationship conflicts. Desclée de Brouwer.