What does demisexual mean? Can I be demisexual? How do I know if I am? Sexuality, as a dimension in the life of the human being, is very diverse, it includes things related to (biological) sex, sexual identity, gender identity, sexual orientation, intercourse, hormonal processes and reproduction. On the other hand, there are the psycho-emotional factors that intervene in the development of this dimension, increasing the complexity of the person’s experiences in terms of romantic interpersonal relationships.
Likewise, new terms and concepts have emerged that explain in detail some trends that previously remained invisible. For your knowledge, Psychology-Online has designed this article in which you will find details about What is it to be demisexual and its characteristics?.
What is demisexuality
Before knowing the definition of demisexuality, it is prudent to take into account that sexuality represents a broad dimension in the life of every human being and that it is not limited to the identification of the assigned sex (genitals) or the sexual act (intercourse), but rather it is comprised of a greater number of biological, psychological and socio-cultural factors that influence it.
Throughout history, various studies in this area have been documented and yet, each time, aspects unknown or invisible to humanity are revealed. That said, the concept of sexuality also includes sexual orientation, which is nothing more than the attraction or taste for people of the same sex or the opposite sex; Mention is made of this because demisexuality is considered by some theorists as a sexual orientation.
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Definition of demisexuality
What exactly is demisexuality? Whether defined as a sexual preference, alteration of desire, sexual orientation, identity, lifestyle and even pathology (depending on who defines it), what is clear so far is that those who feel little to no attraction are called demisexual. by people with whom you have not previously established an emotional bond.
In other words, demisexuality is based on the need for a pre-existing emotional relationship with an individual as a condition for experiencing sexual or erotic attraction toward someone. It is even considered a variable of asexuality, since it implies a lack of interest in intercourse, eroticism and these types of experiences, unless there is an emotional connection in advance; while asexuality is basically considered as the absence of sexual orientation or a preference, but in essence, as disinterest in any erotic/sexual activity regardless of the context, the person or the stimulus and, depending on which source you consult, It has also been assigned a permanent character.
In general terms, for women there tends to be a distinction between sexual attraction and romanticism or emotional bonding, maintaining that one is not necessarily linked to the other and that it is possible that there are emotional relationships that do not involve intercourse with an asexual person. That is, being asexual does not limit the ability to feel affection for a partner.
But in the case of demisexuality, the emotional connection is decisive so that that person becomes attracted to another; In this sense, it is necessary to clarify that being demisexual does not imply feeling attraction for everyone with whom one has a close emotional relationship, but rather for the subject in question to desire someone sexually, he or she must first build an emotional bridge with them. he she.
Characteristics of a demisexual person
Understanding that it is a point between allosexuality and asexuality in the spectrum of the latter, among the characteristics of a demisexual person is:
- Demonstrate little or no interest in erotic experiences.
- Tendency to seek less superficial relationships.
- Not feeling primary sexual attraction (liking someone’s physical appearance, physical attributes, among others).
- Experiencing secondary sexual attraction (that which is born from affection).
- Attraction depends more on the quality of the emotional bond than sexual orientation.
- Once a link is established, and if it is of interest to you, the sex of the other person is not relevant.
- They are capable of feeling love or romance.
- The sexual stimulus par excellence is a deep emotional relationship.
- They can feel affection and have sex or not, but They are not attracted to the idea of having sex if there is no affection.
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What is the demisexual flag like?
Currently, there is a young virtual movement named The Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN for its acronym) dedicated precisely to the dissemination of information about the asexual spectrum. This popular network has supported its graphic representation on symbols extracted from Kinsey’s theory and other authors related to the subject, specifically, the triangle; hence the demisexual flag is seen represented by a black triangle in correspondence to the asexual spectrum, a white stripe representing sexuality, a violet for the sense of community and Gray representing demi and greysexuality.
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This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Dana, G. (2020). The virtual community of asexuals in the metropolitan area of Buenos Aires. Sexuality, Health and Society. Vol. 08. (34). 126-152.
- Euskadi Youth Council. (2016). The colors of sexuality. Vol. 1. (1). 5-85.
- The Asexual Visibility and Education Network. (November 2, 2020). AsexualpediA. Recovered from: http://es.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Demisexual