Friendship is one of the most important supports we can have in our lives, friends are the family we choose and our life partners. But above all, friendship is the maximum representation of love, since the family is inherited and relationships require exclusivity and while in all other representations of love, friendship is included in them, in friendship it is not No other form of love is necessary.
However, if we stop to think carefully about friendship, we wonder what a true friendship really is? How do I distinguish a good friend from a colleague? If you want to answer these questions, keep reading this Psychology-Online article: what is true friendship.
Friendship: definition
Friendship is an emotional bond or relationship between two or more people, which is governed by essential values such as: trust, loyalty, love, generosity, unconditionality, sincerity and commitment. Although friendship as a value It is also a personal value in itself. Friendship is based on a disinterested feeling, appearing spontaneously, friends are chosen.
One will be sincere when the person gives their all without expecting anything in return, although it is necessary that the interest, predisposition, continuity and bond be reciprocal. On the other hand, a true friendship must be cared for and although it is not necessary to maintain physical or direct contact to maintain a friendship, other forms of communication must be found.
As for the meaning of friend or definition of friend It is that person with whom this bond is maintained in a selfless way. Friendship does not understand ages, genders, types of relationships, ethnicities, ideologies, cultures,… we tend to ask ourselves questions such as: The answer to the question is yes. Friendship can appear in all forms of relationships, even between an animal and man, as they say, “the dog is man’s best friend”, friendship will always appear when their implicit values are reciprocally promoted.
Types of friendship
There are many types of friendship defined throughout history, however, the vast majority of them have adopted the division into three types of friendship unfounded by Aristotle, who classified friendship as friendship for pleasure, for utility and for virtue, and all of them share a reciprocal affection, although their purpose is different. Let’s see what characteristics each type of friendship presents!
Friendship for pleasure
Friendship for pleasure is the most common among young people, since they live pursuing their passions, what they find pleasant. This is based on a reciprocal friendship where both friends get what they want, through the complacency of both.
This friendship tends to appear when, for example, two friends share the same passion for sports activities, partying, playing in a music group,… they are friendships that are founded through a shared passion and therefore, they tend to be more volatile, because as age advances, our passions change and This type of friendship depends on mutual pleasure, so that when the pleasures pursued vary, friendship tends to fade. For this reason, it is common that among young people friendships melt quickly, just as they end easily.
Friendship for utility
In this type of friendship, the bond that keeps the two people together focuses on receive some mutual benefit and therefore, it tends to occur between contrary people, since one expects from the other what he or she does not have. Friendships based on usefulness tend to be easy to dissolve, since when one of the two people stops being useful to the other, the friendship dissolves.
In friendship for usefulness complaints and reproaches are frequent, because if what sustains friendship is usefulness, the person demands more and more, because they believe they receive less than they should deserve. Complaints only arise in this type of friendship, because in friendships for pleasure, after having shared moments of pleasure when these change, people separate, while friendships for utility do not separate so easily, as they will continue to present themselves as friends. As long as they can continue to take advantage of the friendship relationship and true friendship or friendship by virtue, it does not understand reproaches.
Friendship by virtue or true friendship
The third type of friendship is friendship by virtue or true friendship, known as the friendship of good. This type of friendship conceives the appreciation of the good and virtuous in life, without any added purpose, without expecting to benefit from anything. True friendship relationships tend to persist throughout lifeto be intimate and deep and do not hide a reason, they flow by themselves.
In true friendship, neither bothers the other, because both want to share their time together. In true friendship, both feel free to share freely, discussing their disagreements without trying to impose one on the other. In true friendship, joys are shared. and adversity becomes more pleasant. True friends grow together as peopleThey are sincere with each other, they seek to understand you without judging you, they maintain constant concern for you, they know how to listen to you and help you with their hearts, and they will give all of this to you without expecting anything in return, only that this love be shared.
Reflections on true friendship
One of the most well-known truths is that “he who has a friend has a treasure”, because friendship is the most precious treasure that can be possessed. We spend the day surrounded by people who accompany us and social networks show us the importance of constantly connecting. However, we operate at an accelerated pace, with the impossibility of being able to dedicate everything necessary to establish a friendship to all the people around us and we make the mistake of thinking that a friend can be found anywhere.
We find ourselves surrounded by colleagues, but we must begin to ask ourselves who is really a friend and when you find your answer, value it and take care of it, well a good friend will always be by your side, in good times and bad, will be there selflessly, without demands, without expecting anything. A good friend will hug you when you are sad and dry your tears, in the same way that he will give you your best smile, celebrate your achievements, accompany you in your failures and remain by your side when the world turns its back on you.
A true friendship is a friendship that lasts a lifetime. And that is why it is very important to assess which friendships are worth staying by our side. Learning to distinguish a good friend from a colleague can be difficult on many occasions, but to know if a friendship is true, focus on whether the friendship values that we have defined before are present. And you, are you a good friend? If you want to check it, you can take the , which will help you reflect on whether your friendship is true.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Arriaga, S. (2012). What does true friendship consist of? UVEG.
- Garcés, L & Huertas, O. (2018). Types of friendship according to Aristotle: differences between friendship for pleasure, utility and true friendship. Spaces, 39, 25.
- Martínez, C. (1999). The Aristotelian conception of friendship. Madrid, Spain: Gredos.
- Zaccagnini, J.L. (2010). Friendship and psychological well-being: the role of “c-friends”. Encounters in Social Psychology, 5(1), 63-72.