Many people experience the desire, at least once in their lives, to take revenge for a harm suffered, for an injustice done to them, or just to get revenge on someone who hurt them. However, this concept does not always apply to this impulse, which may be part of our being.
Sometimes there is only one wish left and this marks a profound difference between those who think about revenge only on a symbolic level and those who decide to take revenge in reality. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to delve into the topic together to better understand what is revenge in psychologythe types of revenge that exist and why it is not good to take revenge.
What is the definition of revenge
What is the meaning of revenge? Encyclopedias define revenge as a material or moral damage, of varying severity, that is privately inflicted on others in satisfaction of offense received, damage suffered or to release old grudges.
The idea of competing, of doing justice, of harming the other in the same way or more than what has hurt us is all the stronger the more intense the perception of the offense suffered and corresponds to a feeling of loss of integrity. Those who meditate retaliation, in fact, are led to believe that only by punishing the person responsible for their own pain will they be able to recover the psychological balance shaken or compromised by the actions of others.
In several Eastern and Western societies, revenge is a custom sanctioned by tradition: in the case of murder, the family of the murdered can, and in some cases must, take revenge directly on the family of the murderer, following certain prescriptions to appease the spirit of the murderer. dead and restore the balance of the group itself. This is known as blood revenge.
Causes of revenge
The feeling of revenge is linked to damage suffered due to violence, abuse or lack of attention, but it can also appear when someone betrays an expectation or an “agreement” within a relationship that can be sentimental, friendly or work-related. Breaking this implicit agreement or seriously and repeatedly damaging trust can deeply mark the sense of trust and generate significant psychological pain characterized by , and the desire for revenge.
On the other hand, revenge is an ancient feeling. Theologians and students of animal behavior have already observed it in primates and within their social groups. When apes receive help from a fellow human being, they remember it and embroider it again; but when they suffer an attack, they do not fail to return it and demonstrate an excellent memory when it comes to disrespect.
This suggests that the feeling of revenge represents an archaic defense, a primary reaction that we have inherited in millennia of evolutionprobably because it promotes survival in basic social contexts.
Therefore, harboring vengeful intentions towards someone who has hurt us is normal, especially around trauma. In the first weeks and within a few months of the offense, those who insist on the issue of revenge towards the person who has affected them, experience a painful but healthy life. That is part of the process of elaborating psychic suffering.
Why do we take revenge?
The conscious aim of revenge is the penalty, as well as the subsequent achievement of a new long-sought psychological balance. What is generally ignored is the unconscious, not to say unconscious, goal that one wants to achieve: for dynamic psychology, the complaint of the damage suffered is nothing more than the desperate attempt to hide the true damage suffered by the Self in the first years of life.
In this sense, revenge is a Defense mechanism whose function is to hide the deepest traumas that occurred in childhood, for example, the obligation to adhere to parental values or protection against . A person occupied with his revenge fantasies about that person obviously has the function of remaining psychologically attached to him.
Types of revenge
There are different types of revenge depending on the causes that caused the initial damage suffered. Let’s see them:
- Revenge for suffering: the subject has suffered, either for real reasons or suffered from past experiences similar to the one in question, and wants to make the person who made him suffer feel the same sensation. In some cases it is usually just to settle scores, generally, if you do not want to have more relations with the person who is guilty of it. In other cases, you want to make the pain you feel understood so that it is not repeated, generally in cases of interest in prolonging the relationship with the other person, but the damage that a reaction of this type can cause seems obvious.
- Revenge for the mistakes suffered: the subject feels treated worse than he believes he deserves, for example, a lack of respect. He then thinks about paying with the same coin, generally, in the case of a totally subjective judgment, the supposed penalty inflicted far exceeds that suffered.
- Revenge for honor: the subject’s pride has been intentionally affected and he intends to show the world that it is not advisable to do so, even if only as a deterrent. Often the attack itself does not cause him pain or discomfort but is linked to the principle of the man of honor.
- Psychotic revenge: The subject has suffered one or more of the situations just listed by several different people throughout their life and tends to pay anyone who believes that all people are equal. He makes a careful evaluation of people and decides how to behave by creating elitist groups toward which he does not behave with this attitude. Depending on the subject and the situation, revenge can generate different emotions such as satisfaction or futility.
Why it is not good to take revenge
We can consider that wanting to take revenge against the author of harm, physical or moral, is a healthy emotion that can be accepted psychologically. In some cases, the mere thought can give relief and be functional for a healing process for the damage suffered.
If the desire for revenge can be considered an emotion that is part of our most basic impulses, the obsession to take revenge, on the other hand, is a pathological aspect that must be freed. Indeed, resentment over an injustice suffered can obsess a person’s mind and can last a long time, even if the event occurred years before. In this article, we tell you.
Revenge does not stimulate positive emotions in the people who want to carry it out. On the contrary, stimulates all those negative emotions tested by the damage suffered such as anger or resentment. . On the psychological level, giving up resentment for the harm suffered requires a long elaboration of your emotional experiences, the relationship with the person who has committed the wrong and the magnitude of it. Often, people who can forgive. Discover .
Forgiveness is truly therapeutic. If it is lived as a free choice not imposed by third parties. Forgiveness not only means freeing yourself from the pain you carry inside for the harm you have suffered, but sometimes it can also indicate getting closer to the person who has committed the harm. Not being able to forgive means not being able to let go of that suffering that dresses the habits of anger and resentment. A therapeutic journey is a useful instrument to understand and process that suffering.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What is revenge in psychologywe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Carella, V. (2021). Vendetta e psychology: vendicarsi fa stare bene? Retrieved from: https://www.centroclinicospp.it/approfondimenti/335-vendetta-psicologia.html
- Secci, E.M. (2019). Psychology of the vendetta. Retrieved from: http://www.enricomariasecci.it/2019/06/25/psicologia-della-vendetta-2/