There are different types of emotional attachment that determine the way we relate to others, from choosing our partner to how our relationships progress. This is why recognizing our attachment style can help us understand our strengths and weaknesses in relationships. Attachment is established in childhood with our parents or caregivers and continues to evolve into adulthood as a working model for relationships.
Currently, psychologists recognize 4 main types of attachment that have different consequences throughout our lives. In this Psychology-Online article, we explain the types of emotional attachment and their characteristics.
What is attachment
Attachment is a special emotional relationship that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure. The study of attachment has its origins in Freud’s theories on love, but John Bowlby is the author considered the father of attachment. Bowlby focused his research on attachment, defining it as the lasting connection between human beings.
The author shared the psychoanalytic view that early experiences in childhood are important for the development and behavior of the person throughout their life. Additionally, Bowlby believed that attachment had an evolutionary component, aiding survival. “The propensity to make strong emotional bonds with particular individuals is a basic component of human nature.” For example, we find .
Childhood attachment and its consequences
This study consisted of observing how children between 12 and 18 months reacted when they were left alone for a short time and when they were reunited with their mothers. This study had 5 sequences to examine:
- Mother and son are alone in the room.
- The child explores the room under the supervision of the mother.
- A stranger enters the room, talks to the mother, and approaches the child.
- The mother leaves the room silently.
- The mother returns and comforts the boy or girl.
Based on these observations, Ainsworth concluded that there was three types of attachment: secure, ambivalent-insecure and avoidant-insecure attachment. Later, researchers Main and Solomon added a fourth attachment style known as disorganized-insecure.
Numerous studies have supported Ainsworth’s finding, and subsequent research has revealed that early attachment styles can influence behavior in adulthood.
secure attachment
One of the types of attachment is secure attachment and it manifests itself differently depending on the period of life in which we find ourselves.
Secure attachment in childhood
The characteristics of secure attachment in childhood are the following:
- Ability to separate from parents: They can be cared for by other people and accept their comfort to some extent, although they prefer their parents to strangers.
- Seeking comfort from parents when you are scared.
- Getting visibly upset when parents leave and be happy when they return, after not seeing them for a while. The contact initiated by a parent is easily accepted by children with a secure attachment and, therefore, they greet him happily upon his return.
Parents of securely attached children tend to play more with their children. Additionally, these parents react more quickly to their children’s needs and are generally more responsive to their children than parents of insecure children. Studies have shown that securely attached children They are more empathetic during the later stages of childhood. In addition, they are also less disruptive, aggressive and more mature than children with ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles.
To form a secure link With parents it is normal and expected, but it does not always happen. Researchers have found a number of factors that contribute to the development of secure attachment, particularly a mother’s responsiveness to her baby’s needs during the first year of life.
Secure attachment in adulthood
The characteristics of secure attachment in adulthood are:
- Tendency to have, durable and trustworthy.
- Tendency to have a good self-esteem.
- Enjoy intimate relationships.
- Look for social support.
- Feel good when you share feelings with partner and friends.
One study found that women with a secure attachment style had more positive feelings about their adult romantic relationships than other women with insecure attachment styles.
ambivalent attachment
One of the types of emotional attachment is ambivalent. It manifests itself differently in childhood than in adulthood. Next, we will see their main characteristics in each case.
Ambivalent attachment in childhood
During childhood, anxious attachment is characterized by:
- Be extremely suspiciousThey distrust strangers.
- Extreme feeling of stress if the parents leave.
- When their parents return, they find no comfort in them. In some cases, contact with their parents is even refused or violence is used to alienate them.
Ambivalent attachment is not very common and has been associated with low maternal availability. As these children grow, teachers describe them as insecure and overly dependent.
Ambivalent attachment in adulthood
In adulthood, the characteristics of an ambivalent attachment are:
- Be reluctant to approach to others.
- Concern about whether your partner loves youleading to frequent breakups because the relationship feels cold and distant.
- Great disappointment when the relationship breaks down.
Some authors speak of another pathological pattern in which anxiously attached adults cling to young children as a source of security. In this article you will see.
Avoidant attachment
Another type of emotional attachment is avoidant attachment. Let’s see what the consequences of this attachment are in childhood and adulthood.
Avoidant attachment in childhood
The characteristics of avoidant attachment in childhood are:
- Avoid parents: This avoidance becomes especially noticeable after a period of parental absence.
- Don’t seek comfort: Parents’ attention may not be rejected, but contact or comfort is not sought from them.
- Show little or no preference for parents in front of strangers.
Avoidant attachment in adulthood
On the other hand, the characteristics of an avoidant attachment in adulthood are the following:
- Problems with intimacy.
- Express little emotion in romantic or social relationships and little distress when they end.
- Inability to share thoughts and feelings with others.
An avoidantly attached adult often avoids intimacy with excuses, or may fantasize about other people during sex. People with this attachment are more likely to have casual sexual relations.
disorganized attachment
We continue talking about types of attachments, specifically, the . Its characteristics are different in boys and girls than in adults.
Disorganized attachment in childhood
In childhood, the characteristics of a disorganized attachment are mix of behaviors avoidant and resistant towards parents, showing a lack of clear attachment behavior.
- Appear dazed or confused in the presence of parents.
- Assume a parental roleacting as caregivers for the parents.
Some authors proposed that inconsistent behavior on the part of parents could favor this type of attachment. Parents who act as figures of fear and reassurance for a child contribute to a disorganized attachment style, as the child feels so comforted and frightened by the same parent that he or she is confused.
Disorganized attachment in adulthood
A disorganized attachment in adulthood is characterized by the following aspects.
- Having difficulty seeing others without significant distortions.
- Significant dysfunction in forming relationships and emotionally significant affects.
- Their relationships tend to be volatile.
- Some people with personality disorders They have a disorganized attachment style.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Types of emotional attachmentwe recommend that you enter our category.
Bibliography
- Duarte Mendoza, KD (2019). Disorganized attachment, its impact on the emotional development of a child (Bachelor’s thesis, BABAHOYO: UTB.
- Gago, J. (2014). Attachment theory. The link. Agintzari S. Coop. of Social Initiative. Basque Navarra School of Family Therapy.
- García de León, S. (2019). Attachment behavior: its various factors: A new type of attachment? Spanish Academic Publishing.