Personality, the way of acting and relating, the way of managing and expressing emotions and even the future choice of partner, are closely related to the type of attachment that has developed in childhood between the parents and the infant.
Next, we will show What is attachment, what types are there according to John Bowlby’s theory, what implications do they have? in the person’s later life, what the behaviors of each attachment style are and how they influence intimate relationships.
What is attachment?
Attachment is an emotional bond that is established from the first moments of life between the mother and the newborn or the person in charge of his or her care. Its function is to ensure care, psychological development and personality formation.
The establishment of attachment from earliest childhood is mainly related to two systems: the exploratory system, which allows the baby to contact the physical environment through the senses; and the affiliative system, through which babies contact other people.
According to López (2009), attachment is made up of three components: the mental construction that allows establishing the relationship of belonging and unconditionality, the emotional union that provides feelings of joy and well-being, and the system of attachment behaviors focused on maintaining contact. privileged.
How is attachment established?
During the first year, an attachment bond is established with the person with whom they have the most contact and fear of strangers appears.
Attachment is responsible for providing security to the child in threatening situations.. Secure attachment allows the child to explore, learn about the world and relate to others; under the peace of mind of feeling that the person with whom you have bonded will be there to protect you. When this does not happen, fears and insecurities influence the way we interpret the world and relate to each other.
John Bowlby’s theory
John Bowlby (1907-1990), child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He dedicated himself to studying the effects of the relationship between the main caregiver and the minor on the mental health of minors and their adult lives.
To do this, Bowlby revisits the work of the American psychologist Mary Ainsworth, with whom he had worked. Ainsworth observed different interactions between mothers and children under a standardized procedure known as the Strange Situation.
Bowlby after conducting studies with children institutionalized for theft, and with children who had been separated from their mothers at an early age. Bowlby concluded that the resilience of minors was influenced by the bond formed in the first years of life. In this sense, the type of relationship established between the baby of a few months and her caregiver is decisive in subsequent behavior and emotional development. The attachment style established during childhood can be visible in the fears or insecurities of the adultand in the way of facing them.
The 4 types of attachment
Next, we will see what each of the types of attachment proposed by Bowlby consists of, as well as some manifestations in children and adults.
1.
This type of attachment is characterized by unconditionality: the child knows that his caregiver is not going to fail him. You feel loved, accepted and valued. According to Bowlby, this type of attachment depends largely on the caregiver’s consistency in providing care and security. This should be a person who is attentive and concerned about communicating with the newborn, not only interested in meeting the baby’s cleaning and feeding needs. Of course, the drawback is that this involves almost total surrender on the part of the caregiver, which can be complicated for some people.
Children with secure attachment display active behaviors, interact confidently with the environment, and there is emotional attunement between the child and the attachment figure.
It is not an effort for them to bond intimately with people and they are not afraid of abandonment. That is, they can lead an independent adult life, without giving up their interpersonal relationships and emotional ties.
2.
In psychology, “ambivalent” means expressing conflicting emotions or feelings, which frequently generates distress. Therefore, in the case of an anxious-ambivalent attachment the child does not trust his caregivers and has a constant feeling of insecuritythat sometimes their caregivers are there and other times they are not, What is constant in caregivers is the inconsistency in care and safety behaviors.
The most frequent emotions in this type of attachment are fear and anguish exacerbated by separations, as well as difficulty calming down when the caregiver returns. Minors need the approval of caregivers and constantly monitor that they do not abandon them. They explore the environment in a relaxed manner and try not to stray too far from the attachment figure.
As adults, anxious-ambivalent attachment causes a feeling of fear that their partner does not really love them or desire them. They find it difficult to interact in the way they would like with people, as they expect to receive more intimacy or bonding than they provide. An example of this type of attachment in adults is emotional dependence.
3.
Children with an avoidant attachment type They have assumed that they cannot count on their caregivers, which causes them suffering. It is known as “avoidant” because babies exhibit different distancing behaviors. For example, they do not cry when separated from their caregiver, they are interested only in their toys and they avoid close contact.
What has been constant has been behaviors of their caregivers that have not generated enough security, The minor develops compulsive self-sufficiency with a preference for emotional distance.
Lack of concern about separation can be confused with security; different studies have shown that these children actually present physiological signs associated with stress, whose activation lasts longer than children with a secure attachment. These minors live feeling little loved and valued; Many times they do not express or understand the emotions of others and therefore avoid intimate relationships.
In adulthood, feelings of rejection of intimacy with others and relationship difficulties occur. For example, the partners of these people miss more intimacy in the interaction.
4.
It is a mix between anxious and avoidant attachment. in which the child presents contradictory and inappropriate behaviors. There are those who translate it into a total lack of attachment.
What has been constant among caregivers has been negligent or unsafe behavior. This is the opposite extreme of secure attachment. Cases of early abandonment, whose consequence in the child is the loss of trust in the caregiver or relationship figure, and may even constantly feel fear towards them.
Minors have a tendency toward explosive behavior, destruction of toys, impulsive reactions, as well as great difficulties in understanding each other with their caregivers and other people.
They avoid intimacy, they have not found a way to manage the emotions that this provokes in them, which is why an emotional overflow of a negative nature is generated that prevents the expression of positive emotions.
As adults they tend to be people with a high level of frustration and anger, they do not feel loved and They seem to reject relationships, although deep down they are their greatest desire. In other cases, this type of attachment in adults can be found at the bottom of constant conflictive relationships.
Can the attachment style be changed?
Yes, attachment is not immutable nor does it remain the same in all people as development progresses. Furthermore, the behavior of every individual in a relationship is mediated by the behavior of the other. Friendship, work and couple relationships also influence in the type of attachment and the role they maintain with the new attachment figures.
All of this needs to be interpreted from an integrative prism; which implies that all the interrelationships that occur from birth to adulthood mark the behavior of the current moment. A person with an insecure attachment style in childhood can “learn” from the secure attachment behaviors provided by their partner or other loved ones, such as a group of psychologically healthy close friends. In any case, the important thing is to develop appropriate strategies to generate security, with the resources we have available.
Currently there are multiple psychosocial factors that have important consequences in the formation of primary ties. For example, the lack of work-life balance where working caregivers (mothers/fathers) are forced to leave their children with other people, as well as the absence of these other people to help with childcare or social services that compensate This shows that The task of forming secure attachment styles is the responsibility of different actors.not just mothers, fathers or close relationship figures.
Bibliographic references:
- Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 130(3): 201-210.
- López, F. (2009). Love and heartbreak: processes of sexual and emotional attachment and disengagement. Madrid: New Library.
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