One of the most difficult and painful situations a person can go through is suffering from constant abuse, whether physical or psychological. Unfortunately, despite the progress we are making in society in terms of gender equality, there are still a large number of cases of that although there are also cases where violence is exercised by women towards men, the vast majority occur from men to women.
Over the years this global phenomenon has been and continues to be studied, psychology has been in charge of investigating it more and more and has found that there are certain patterns of behavior in abusers that, without a doubt, are worth knowing to identify them. In this Psychology-Online article: types of abusers and their characteristicswe are going to explain in detail everything you need to know about the behavior pattern of an abuser so that you can learn to identify it more easily.
It has been found that there are 3 types of abusers and one of the criteria that has been used to classify them is the presence of mental health problems, so the conclusion reached according to some researchers was the following:
- Abusers who commit violence in the family. These are domestic abusers who only carry out violence at home and who are considered less deviant, since unlike others they have a lower level of impulsivity, consumption of harmful substances (drugs and alcohol) and delinquency. They are men who were exposed to violence and aggression in their childhood and who have problems relating to other people, since they lack social skills. Generally, their relationships tend to be more or less stable and, unlike other abusers, they experience guilt and remorse after having attacked their partner.
- Borderline/dysphoric abuser. These types of abusers usually carry out violent acts towards their partner in a moderate to severe manner. Unlike domestic abusers, they are people who present some because they have many emotional problems, which causes them to have poor impulse control that can manifest in jealousy and anger. The emotional problems they present surely come from their childhood, since they show that they have a history of rejection by their parents, they have also suffered from childhood abuse and, therefore, they are people who lack social skills, they are hostile towards women and at the same time dependent. Unlike domestic abusers, these types of abusers show a low level of guilt and regret after having committed violence against their partner.
- Mostly violent/antisocial abusers. These types of abusers are those who show a higher degree of pathology, they exercise violence in a moderate to severe manner and this can be physical, emotional and/or sexual. Most of these abusers have been victims of violence in their childhood from their family and usually have a history of delinquency. They are men who, like the other two types of abusers, also lack social skills and, unlike them, actually justify their violent acts in an erroneous way. It is common for this type of abuser to present cases of narcissism and .
There are a series of characteristics that abusers generally have, although it is necessary to mention that obviously everything depends on the individual case of each person and some of them may not exactly meet all of these characteristics. Now that you know the main types of abusers, we offer you the characteristics that define them:
Unsafety
They tend to be extremely insecure people who They like to have everything under control and they cannot stand it when things do not happen as planned since this unbalances them. Apart from having little confidence in themselves, they also tend to greatly distrust others and everything around them. Sometimes, these types of insecure people are difficult to identify because they show excessive self-confidence, which makes them look conceited and pedantic and makes it seem like they feel superior to others. They do all this with the desire to hide the greatness they have towards themselves and due to the fear that it causes them that others will perceive it and want to take advantage of them.
Aggressiveness
Aggressive people are sometimes difficult to detect because they do not usually show their aggressiveness with people who are within their social circle. Therefore, they tend to only show their aggressiveness in their most intimate and trusted circle, such as their family (partner, children or parents). This aggressiveness is characterized by starting so gradually that sometimes it goes unnoticed. Generally, abusers begin by exercising violence verbally, so they may begin by making small comments that seem insignificant towards their partner, such as: “we are not going out today because you didn’t dress well for me,” “your ideas are always stupid.” “, “you never do things right”, etc. And so each time the contempt increases its level until it reaches insults and finally physical violence.
It seems that at some point this aggressiveness that they manifest has gone away since the abuser (when the woman obeys him and makes an effort to keep him happy) as a reward for this, usually behaves in a kind and loving way, which makes her feel confused and think that has truly changed. However, when you least expect it, the abuser uses violence again.
Not taking responsibility for your actions
Generally, abusers tend not to face their own problems and blame others to remove responsibility from themselves. That is, they do not recognize, for example, when they have made a mistake, nor do they recognize that the discomfort they may be experiencing is due to themselves and their actions. So They prefer to blame him for everything that happensin this case to their partner and they try to make her feel as if she had really made the mistake.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.