Who has not had to deal at some point in their life with a negative and manipulative person to whom everything seems bad and who, instead of helping us grow and be positive, drag us down or psychologically wear us down? These are the so-called “toxic people” and although on many occasions it is inevitable to have to deal with them in some context, whether at work, in the family or in our social circle, it is very important to know how to deal with them. to their behaviors and attitudes to prevent them from influencing us excessively and harming us emotionally.
In the following Psychology-Online article we will show you which are the main characteristics of toxic people and how to treat them so that, thus, you prevent these types of people from damaging your self-esteem and making you feel weak or insecure.
What are toxic people in psychology
In psychology, “toxic people” are called those people who They have a negative mindset and who engage in behaviors that are harmful to those around them, but also to themselves. They have the ability to manipulate others, limit their actions and personal development, and continually provoke negative emotions in them.
However, it is important to note that toxic people they can change and modify their behavior, since absolutely all of us can make changes regarding our character and habits. Here we explain the different ones.
Characteristics of toxic people
Below, we list the characteristics of toxic people so that you can identify them and stay away from them or know how to identify them and act when you have to deal with them in your daily life:
- Egocentric and selfish: They are people with a high degree of egocentrism and selfishness. They continually talk about themselves, they do it excessively and they completely forget about those around them. Unconsciously, they feed their ego and are indifferent to the needs of others. Their problems or concerns are always above those of the rest and force others to attend to all their needs, even if they are insignificant or banal.
- Pessimistic and negative: This is another distinctive personality trait of toxic people. His speech is always negative, basically built from complaints and pessimistic thoughts. Complaints and criticisms are permanent and they always see the dark side of things, focusing their attention on problems and not solutions.
- They are continually victimized: They position themselves in the role of victim quickly and easily. In this way, they try to be the center of attention, avoid taking responsibility for their actions and make others attend to and satisfy their needs.
- Envious and jealous: Toxic people tend to take away your enthusiasm for any positive event that happens to you, they downplay the importance of your achievements or simply act indifferent to them. They usually try to discourage others, always finding a flaw or but in their ideas, plans, decisions, etc. Other attitudes that denote their high degree of envy is that they try to take the merits of others and tend to constantly criticize third parties, so it is very likely that when they are with other people they will also speak badly of you.
- They take advantage of other people’s efforts: They do not have much initiative, they make excuses to do anything and they put themselves in a comfortable position so that others make the efforts, although they later take credit, as we have commented previously, for the merits and achievements. They are also people who tend to take advantage of the good will of others.
- They are incapable of being happy for others: They are incapable of being happy when someone around them achieves or happens something that makes that person happy, as they rather tend to rejoice at the bad things of others and feel envious when everything goes well for others.
- Lack of self-criticism: They never stop to analyze the situations that they themselves cause or their behaviors, so they do not see their mistakes or whether they have acted well or, on the contrary, they have made a mistake or caused harm to the people around them.
- vain: Another characteristic of toxic people is that they are arrogant and arrogant, they always exalt themselves and boast about their physical, intellectual qualities, etc.
- Ignorance: On many occasions, believing themselves to be superior to others and having an excessive ego means that these people do not learn anything from other people, which can lead them to have a certain ignorance on some topics.
- Unhappy: Although they may externally show otherwise, it is said that toxic people are really unhappy, since their negative thoughts and attitudes do not allow them to live in peace and harmony with those around them.
How to deal with toxic people
Have you identified the characteristics of toxic people in someone in your environment, whether in your family, at work or in your circle of friends? If so, please pay attention to the following tips on how to deal with toxic peoplewill help you know how to deal with him/her and what to do so that his/her attitudes and behaviors do not end up affecting your emotional well-being:
- Set your own limits and learn to say no: It is very important to always respect others, but also to be respected. So that this toxic person does not affect your psychological balance or make you feel bad, it is essential that you establish some agreements with them and that you mark some red lines that you do not allow them to cross, and in the case of what they do and go beyond their limits, let them know. and don’t feel guilty about it.
- Be clear that the problem is theirs and not yours.: When you have to deal with a toxic person, try to keep in mind that their behavior is not like this because they have something personal against you, but rather it is due to their personality, to how they are until now. If you assume that there are people who criticize everything and have a general attitude like that with all or most of the people around them, you will prevent their attitudes or opinions from affecting you excessively.
- Try to be compassionate: When we feel attacked by someone, we usually see that person as an “enemy”, however, if we try to develop compassionate thoughts towards that person we can ensure that their pessimistic attitude and bad energy does not affect us as much.
- Avoid taking a similar attitude: You can defend yourself against their attacks or tell them what you think in an assertive way, avoiding falling into attacks or adopting an attitude similar to theirs.
- Stay away from that person: If after putting the previous advice into practice, the relationship with that person is unsustainable for you and harms your emotional well-being significantly, it is best that you distance yourself and stay away from them, since otherwise it could end up severely damaging your self-esteem.
In the following article we explain to you.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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