After getting angry with someone, have you treated them with indifference? Or vice versa, after a conflict with another person, do you feel like they ignore you? This happens because sometimes indifference is used as a punishment, since indifference hurts. But does indifference in a couple work? What exactly is indifference? Does indifference in love work? How to act when faced with your partner’s indifference?
We will answer all these questions in this Psychology-Online article: the punishment of indifference.
What is indifference
They say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. But what is indifference exactly? Indifference is a set of attitudes and behaviors through which no appreciation or importance is shown towards some issue or person. In this case, we are talking about people.
What is indifference in love? Indifference in a couple or in social relationships means withdrawing attention from that person. Indifference often appears after a conflict or disagreement. Some people use indifference as a form of punishment towards another person who has let them down. However, the indifference It is a lack in emotional intelligence when the person tries to solve their problems through this form of behavior. In the following article you will find.
Does indifference work?
While one practices communication for understanding after a conflict, indifference becomes a barrier which shows a bad disposition for dialogue. In essence, this form of behavior is also a consequence of the ego of someone who gives excessive importance to himself. The person who acts with indifference to solve a problem instead of simplifying what happened, aggravates the situation.
indifference hurts
On the other hand, those who act in this way on a regular basis come to produce fear in your environment close, since others do not understand these unpredictable reactions. And it is possible that some family members and friends begin to act conditioned by the fear of an event of these characteristics occurring, avoiding in advance those actions that could lead to this indifference.
What effect do you have on a person when you are indifferent?
You make him feel invisible, that is, you damage their self-esteem from this way of undervaluing him. On the other hand, no one can read your thoughts. And yet, when you act with indifference you do so motivated by the irrational belief of thinking that the other may know exactly why you act this way. Therefore, from this form of lack of communication, confusion is generated around a fact that could have been solved more easily with the .
The tension generated by this type of behavior is of such magnitude that it produces a blockage in relationships from the affective memory of what happened. That is to say, even if two people turn the page, it is very possible that this discomfort will resurface in a possible new conflict since what this type of behavior denotes is, precisely, that the person needs to develop skills to face conflictive situations. And until he does, he will continue to react the same way to each new problem that frustrates him. indifference hurts because communication is inherent to human beings.
How to act in the face of indifference
Generally, through this type of behavior there is a form of manipulation with which to blackmail the other person. In other cases, there is also a desire for revenge, that is, the intention to return the damage suffered through this form of punishment. The person wants to show that he has the power and control of the situation. However, he is wrong, because this way of acting soon turns against him. That is to say, this form of behavior is especially serious when it is a way of limiting the other’s freedom. Therefore, it is a form of instrumentalization.
This form of behavior is also a can be corrected through awareness of the damage caused by this form of punishment.
Therefore, what can be done in the face of another person’s indifference is, first of all, not act the same way, as it would only continue to aggravate the problem. Secondly, do not take it personally or believe that you are to blame. The person who uses indifference as punishment does so because he does not know how to act otherwise and that is his responsibility, not yours. The behavior of others is not your responsibility.
You will not be able to solve the conflict alone. What is in your hands is to do your part: you can take the first step communicating assertively, that is, speaking in the first person about how you perceive the situation and how you feel about it. Normally, an open and sincere attitude is better received. However, there is no guarantee that the other party’s response will be positive.
Remember that the person who acts with indifference is because he or she has a deficiency in the , that is, has not learned emotional skills and social enough to deal with interpersonal problems. Surely, the situation you are in has exceeded what you can handle with the strategies and tools you have acquired so far. It would be good for the person who acts with indifference to become aware of this lack of skills. In which case, he could learn them and.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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Bibliography
- Castelló, A., & Autet, MC (2011). Interpersonal intelligence: key concepts. Interuniversity electronic journal of teacher training14(3), 23-35.
- Goleman, D. (2010). The practice of emotional intelligence. Kairos Editorial.