The need for approval is a deep desire to be accepted and appreciated by others. Although it is natural to want approval from those we value, when this need becomes a dominant force governing our decisions and actions, it can be limiting and ultimately harmful to our self-esteem and well-being. In this article, we will explore the need for approval, how it affects our lives, and how we can free ourselves from its influence to embrace our authenticity.
What is Need for Approval?
The need for approval is the constant longing to be validated, admired, and accepted by others. It can manifest itself in a variety of ways, from constantly seeking praise and validation from others to avoiding expressing opinions or desires that could be perceived as unpopular.
How the Need for Approval Affects Our Lives:
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Inhibits Authenticity: When we are obsessed with the approval of others, we often hide our true opinions and desires for fear of being rejected. This inhibits our authenticity.
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Creation of Stress and Anxiety: Constantly worrying about what others think of us can cause significant stress and anxiety.
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Surface Relationships: Obsessive seeking approval often leads to superficial relationships as we prioritize pleasing others over building authentic connections.
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Fear to fail: The need for approval can lead to the paralyzing fear of failure, which prevents us from taking risks and pursuing our goals.
How to Overcome the Need for Approval:
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Self-awareness: The first step is to become aware that you have a strong need for approval. Reflect on when and how this need influences your decisions and emotions.
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Understand its Origin: Explore where this need comes from. It may be related to past experiences or family and social influences.
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Promotes Self-Acceptance: Learn to accept yourself as you are. Recognize that it is okay to have your own opinions and desires, even if they are not shared by everyone.
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Set Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say “no” when necessary and set healthy boundaries in your relationships.
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Focus on your Values: Instead of seeking approval from others, focus on living according to your values and principles.
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Practice Self-Validation: Validate your own achievements and efforts, rather than relying exclusively on external validation.
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Seek Professional Support: If you feel that the need for approval is significantly interfering with your life, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor.
Benefits of Overcoming the Need for Approval:
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Greater Authenticity: Overcoming the need for approval allows you to be more authentic and true to yourself.
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Less Stress and Anxiety: By freeing yourself from the constant burden of seeking the approval of others, you will experience less stress and anxiety.
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More Authentic Relationships: By being authentic, you will attract more authentic and satisfying relationships.
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Confidence in Yourself: As you accept and validate yourself, your self-confidence increases.
Conclusion: Free Yourself and Embrace Your Authenticity
The need for approval is a powerful force that can influence our lives in subtle but significant ways. Learning to free yourself from this need does not mean that we should stop valuing the opinion of others, but rather that we should learn to balance it with our own self-acceptance and authenticity. By doing so, we gain greater freedom to live according to our values and desires, build meaningful relationships, and enjoy a more fulfilling life.