Do you know the myths of romantic love? Myths have been created around the concept of love and erroneous beliefs have been developed that, traditionally, have been shared by our society and have even been accepted as true.
Can you be happy without having a partner? Does your better half exist? Where there is jealously, there is love? Opposites attract? These are just some of the issues that can weigh down or destroy a relationship.
All these commonplaces, far from helping to strengthen ties, influence our behaviors and cause us emotional distress.
7 myths of romantic love that must be debunked
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Love is not omnipotent
There is a tendency to think that love, by itself, ends up fixing any relationship problem. But this is not true. Despite the “raw” love that you may feel for a person, that love must be polished, channeled, analyzed which aspects of the relationship do not work or need improvement, whether that partner contributes to you or harms you. Following this idea that “love can do everything” we can chain ourselves to toxic relationships that generate suffering, something very harmful.
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Find your better half
A person is not half of something. We are all complete and unique human beings. You may really want to share your life with someone, to enjoy healthy sentimental company, but you cannot assume that you are an incomplete being and that you need another person to complete you. No one should complete you, but rather complement you.
The myth of the better half leads us to an anxious search that can affect our behavior. Furthermore, it means that there is only one person you can fall in love with throughout your life, a misguided idea if ever there was one, as so many cases have shown.
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You need a partner to be happy
Really? This is what stories, movies, romantic novels, gossip magazines have told us… and maybe you have believed it. The truth is that many people consider having a partner as an essential goal. However, a single person can live completely and fully. In any case, this should be the first objective: learn to be happy on your own and not expect happiness to come through a relationship. Do you want to have a partner? Go ahead! But the first thing is to be clear that you cannot make your happiness depend on it.
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Love and passion are inseparable
There is a myth that sexual relations must always accompany love, with great intensity, frequency and satisfaction. However, a relationship can go through different phases, which will also affect your sexual life. The falling in love phase is usually the most sexually active. Afterwards, we tend to be calmer, we enter another dynamic, there may be ups and downs, periods of reactivation, etc.
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Where there is jealously, there is love
A disastrous and increasingly obsolete idea, but one that many of us have heard throughout our lives. Feeling jealous is a natural feeling, which people must learn to manage. But jealousy as a couple has nothing to do with love, but with the insecurities of the jealous person.
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Opposites attract
It is another very widespread idea, but two such opposite people are hardly going to fit together. In reality, sharing values is what fosters understanding and can consolidate a relationship in a constructive way. The attraction for the opposite pole can mean a desire to want to cover one’s own personal shortcomings with the naive idea of making “the ideal couple.” But, we repeat, people are not incomplete.
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The myth that only your partner can attract you
It is also well founded by romance novels, but every day this myth collapses a little more. It may imply the fear of abandonment if that happens. But feeling attracted to other people is very normal, no one should feel guilty. And attraction is just that, it doesn’t necessarily involve anything else. From there, each couple regulates and organizes themselves as they see fit: they can opt by mutual agreement for sexual exclusivity or an open relationship, among other options.
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