Despite the knowledge about effective parenting and its distribution along with parenting guidance support programs; Even in practice, there are great challenges when applying them. This can occur due to the adults’ own objectives of only modifying the behaviors of their children; without being aware of the model they provide and of their own private and public behaviors that interfere with the applications of the different recommended methodologies. The work from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) comes to provide strategies and conceptualization where these barriers are the protagonists in the intervention. Next, the matrix will be presented, a tool of excellence to conceptualize interventions in which all ACT processes participate.
The matrix and its usefulness
For those who have never approached this tool, I hope you will be surprised by its practicality and clinical usefulness. It is an excellent tool to conceptualize and perform functional analyzes of patients’ experiential avoidance behaviors.
It was developed by Kevin Polk in 2009 with the intention of being able to simplify a tool that can be used with clients and its uses have expanded from individual to family and group therapy (Polk et al., 2016).
Its application in breeding
The following steps and development are based on the book and my own professional experience applying the same.
The first step to be able to work with the matrix is to be able to explain to the family the difference between what is the world of experience of the 5 senses and the world of experience of what happens inside our skin, we could also call it “ mind” or internal world.
To effectively achieve this first step we could do an exercise taking some object from the office and experiment with these parents what it is like to feel this object in the world of the 5 senses (what it smells like, what the texture is like, what color it is, etc. .) and then to close your eyes and think about this object. In this way, through experience we achieve the objective of making them aware that we can live in these two worlds and that it is key to constantly identify which one we are in.
Each quadrant of the matrix has a specific utility and it is important to complete them with the parents at the moment. The language to be used must be understandable by them, without extremely technical words and with simple questions that help explore in depth.
- In this lower right quadrant we find questions that guide us to know the values of the parents, that is, the abstract positive reinforcers, qualities that they want to cultivate as a family. We can ask questions like:
- What is important to you?
- Who is important to you?
- What kind of father/mother do they want to be?
Some of the answers that usually appear have to do with the importance of children, the family in general, the community in which they participate such as clubs or institutions, life as a couple, etc. It is very important to guide parents in connecting with the importance of themselves within who they are important; If they are not named from the beginning, we must try to evoke them. Qualities such as being calm, attentive, affectionate, etc. also usually appear as values.
- Within this lower left quadrant we will begin to explore with parents what things happen under the skin (private – covert behaviors) that sometimes prevent them from carrying out behaviors that bring them closer to what is important to them or that even distance themselves. Some questions that may help:
- What thoughts, emotions, sensations appear as barriers?
- Is there something you feel inside your body that prevents you from acting calm, for example?
- What messages do your minds tell you to act away from what is important to you?
In this case, the responses that may appear from the emotions they notice are: fear, anxiety, anger, nerves, shame, guilt, etc. Thoughts like “No matter what he does, he doesn’t listen to me,” “He does it on purpose,” “He will never change,” “I’m a bad mother/father,” among others. Physical sensations such as palpitations, tremors or heat may also appear. It is important not to be surprised as therapists at what parents notice, always validating what appears as a barrier.
- When it comes to reaching the 3rd quadrant, what we are going to identify with the dads and moms is: What can we see them doing when these stimuli appear (those in quadrant 2)? What interests us in this section is that we achieve through the story the awareness that when this appears they usually behave in a certain way. As if it were a movie, we are going to invite you to describe what you do; Some of the responses they usually hear are: I scream, I start crying, I hit, I argue, etc.
Before moving to quadrant number 4; If you have realized the objective of doing it with them at the moment is to generate this awareness, realizing each of these quadrants is essential to generate a change. And this is the moment to be able to generate awareness that what they have been doing until now does not work as they expect; moving away from what is important to this family.
We are going to take quadrant 2 and 3 as a unit of analysis and begin to observe with them how time and time again they are in an endless circle of behaviors that do not end up solving the problem in question (they are in a loop). Let’s see it with an example:
“-So you are telling me that when anger appears (quadrant 2) you scream (quadrant 3), this in the short term makes your daughter stop throwing food; And what do they feel after screaming?
-Anger, anguish, guilt
-I imagine that moment is difficult for you. And thoughts appear?
– Yes, it happens to me that I think that she will never change, that it is my fault because I raised her badly (quadrant 3).
-Thank you for telling me what you think, and when these thoughts and emotions invade you, what do you do?
-We usually eat separately, many times one of us gets so sick that he leaves and doesn’t have dinner.
-I understand, and how does this impact your lives? You notice what happens when you are doing this over and over again.”
The idea is with a story similar to this one, adapted to the family with whom we are working, to achieve a click, a movement that allows us to continue working in harmony with getting closer to the values (quadrant 1). Once at that point we then continue.
- The central question in this quadrant is “If you could see yourself getting closer to all this that is important to you (quadrant 1), what would you see yourself doing? It is important to think about behaviors that appear, no matter if they are far from what is possible today. These can then be separated into small steps or parts to achieve the final behaviors; but any idea that appears here is welcome. Once we have this list; We can ask: In the short term until we meet again, what of what you mentioned is possible? Small actions in this direction are what we need for families to contact how they feel walking towards this side of the matrix and everything they obtain from the environment when they move to the side of what is valuable.
Conclusion
Personally, the matrix is a tool that I really like, I find it simple and practical. Within it we can see how in each quadrant when working with the families’ responses we can work on all the processes of psychological flexibility, accompanying the consultants in learning skills that allow them to be closer to a valuable life in relationship. to the familiar in this case. Many times he invited families to place it in some visible place so that each day they could observe where they were walking in order to work on awareness and the decision of how to act; and even to encourage awareness when they are dragged to the left side of the matrix.
The development of this tool can be carried out in person, but also in online format; All you need is a blackboard or paper and pencil. Depending on the families we work with, we can complement it with some other resource such as cards for each quadrant, colored alert cards, and compasses with objectives. The good thing is that as long as we are framed in the model we can use our imagination.
References:
- Polk, K.L., Schoendorff, B., Webster, M., & Olaz, F.O. (2016). The Essential Guide to the ACT Matrix: A Step-by-Step Approach to Using the ACT Matrix Model in Clinical Practice (English Edition) (1st ed.). Context Press.
- PhD, LCW, PhD, AMR, & PhD, KWG (2009). The Joy of Parenting: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide to Effective Parenting in the Early Years. New Harbinger Publications.
- Whittingham, K., & Coyne, L. (2019). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Clinician’s Guide for Supporting Parents (1st ed.). Academic Press.