Grief is a necessary adaptation process after a loss. A loss can be of many types, although we usually talk about the loss of a loved one, it can also be a loss at a work level, such as a job change, a loss of health, due to a medical diagnosis, or a breakup of relationships. couple or migration.
Any loss implies a great change and the adaptation to this change is grief, which has a variable duration and consists of several stages. In this Psychology-Online article we will see the different phases of grief in psychologybased on scientific evidence and the theories of authors such as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and John Bowlby.
What is grief in psychology
Grief is experienced as something complicated and pain is experienced because we are social beings and create bonds with others. Furthermore, we have security and protection needs that are met in a known environment and falter in the face of major changes. Every change implies a effort to adapt to new circumstances which is not usually easy to do.
Grief is not a disorder or an illness, however, it is a painful process with different stages that could get complicated. Some of the risk factors for complicated grief are sudden deaths and unauthorized grief, such as abortions and perinatal deaths or suicides.
In the vast majority of cases, grief is a normal process that does not present complications. Besides, can be transformative for the personal development of each person. If you are going through a grieving process, they will allow you to preserve the memories of your loved ones forever. Funeral urns created by the best specialists in Spain, with elegant and discreet designs that do not deteriorate over time. Always take your loved ones with you!
The phases of grief according to authors
According to Elisabeth Külber-Rossthe 5 stages of grief are as follows:
- Denial
- Gonna
- Negotiation
- Depression
- Acceptance
On the other hand, Colin Murray Parkes proposes the following 4 stages of grief:
- Insensitivity
- I long
- Disorganization
- Reorganized behavior
Another model about the phases of grief is that of J. William Worden:
- Accept reality
- Work through emotions and experience pain
- Adapt to the environment without the loved one
- Replace and remember your loved one
On the other hand, Robert A. Neimeyer proposes the following phases of grief:
- Acknowledge the reality of the loss
- Open to pain
- Review our world of meanings
- Rebuild the relationship with what has been lost
- Reinvent ourselves
Finally, there is a model that integrates the aforementioned perspectives, the Integrative-relational model of Alba Payás Puigarnauand proposes the following 4 phases of grief:
- Shock
- Avoidance-denial
- Connection-integration
- Growth-transformation
Next, we will see the main phases of emotional grief, adapting the different proposals of the authors.
Stunning and shock
The first phase of grief is characterized by feelings of daze, confusion, or even dissociation, which function as a protection mechanism against high impact what the loss entails. At this point, the loss is neither recognized nor accepted.
In this first stage, it is important that the mourner begins to connect with the pain and express it, since otherwise it could lead to complicated grief. In these cases, we recommend you read this article about .
Avoidance and denial
One of the most characteristic stages of grief. We can see how the person denies reality, avoids connecting with pain and represses emotional expression. At this point in grief, it is common to fill the agenda so as not to have free time, to say that you are fine and not want help.
The main objective of this phase of grief is to become aware of the denial and reduce avoidance strategies, to, little by little, recognize the loss and manage the pain. The essential task is acknowledge the loss, that is, accepting and understanding death. Otherwise, complicated absent or avoidant grief may be triggered, which entails hyperactivity and self-destructive behaviors.
Gonna
Anger is one of the phases of grief that is characterized by the following emotional reactions:
- Rage,
- Envy.
- Hostility.
- Self-destructive behaviors
So that. When you reach this stage of grief it is necessary to express what you feel and learn to manage your emotions, avoiding dysfunctional behaviors. In this article you will see.
Depression
At this point in grief, the mourner feels a deep pain and sadness. In this phase of grief, a lack of activity, absence of grooming patterns or usual routines, such as changes in meals, and general disorganization can be observed. It is possible that in this phase of grief the mourner identifies with hopelessness or apathy.
At this point, it is important to feel the emotions without getting carried away by them. Little by little, the sufferer must reorganize his or her life, adopt new routines, carry out rewarding activities and lead a healthy lifestyle. Find out in this article.
Connection and integration
Another of the stages of grief in which the mourner begins to connect with the reality of loss and the emotions it generates: sadness, guilt, pain, etc. The behaviors that we can observe in this phase of grief are talking about the loss and memories or visiting places associated with the loved one, among others.
The main tasks that must be carried out to overcome this phase of grief are the following:
- React to separation: feel, identify and accept emotional reactions.
- Remember what was lost and review it realistically.
If you do not go through part of the grief, it could become complicated and trigger chronic grief.
Growth and transformation
The last phase of emotional grief is transformation. In this stage of mourning, the reorganization of the inner world of the sufferer and their life, even using the loss for personal growth. At this time, it may be good for you to read this article about .
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to The phases of griefwe recommend that you enter our category.
References
- Kübler-Ross, E. (2017). On death and dying: Relief of psychological suffering, Debolsillo.
- Parkes, C. M. (1972). Accuracy of predictions of survival in later stages of cancer. British Medical Journal,2(5804), 29-31.
- Worden, J. (1997). The four tasks of mourning. Worden JW: Grief Treatment, Psychological Counseling and Therapy. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Neimeyer, R. (2007). Learn from loss. A guide to facing grief. Chapter 4: The activity of mourning. Chapter 7: The reconstruction of meaning and the experience of loss.
- Payás, A. (2010). The tasks of mourning. Grief psychotherapy from an Integrative-Relational model. Paidós Editorial. Spain.