ANDCurrently, around 5% of children have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This makes it one of the most prevalent disorders in childhood.
The characteristics of the condition, which include alterations in attentional functions, hyperactivity and impulsivity, cause general disorganization at a cognitive and behavioral level that extends to all areas of life. In turn, various studies show that these children are more likely to develop comorbid disorders such as anxiety and depression. They usually present various learning problems, are more likely to have accidents, and have greater substance use in adolescence (Ives, 2006). That is, the impact of the disorder affects to a greater or lesser extent all the areas in which the subjects function.
Conversely, the interventions that we as adults carry out in the contexts where children live may help them (or not) in their organization and in limiting the effects that ADHD has on their daily lives. Taking these characteristics into account, some time ago we published whose purpose was to promote the learning process of children through some adaptations of access and content to educational material.
In this case, the objective is to propose a series of recommendations for parents, which will beneficially impact the lives of their children as well as themselves; since applied consistently they reduce disorganized and impulsive behaviors in children, directly affecting family balance.
Recommendation No. 1: Give structure to your daily life
The fact that a child with ADHD lives in a relatively structured environment will contribute to his organization for the activities he must carry out. On the contrary, an unstructured context, where the same activities can change the time of day in which they are carried out, overlap or alternate in the planned order; They are more likely to generate confusion and failures in their implementation. For example, it will be preferable that when you get home from school you always change, wash your hands, sit down for lunch, brush your teeth and take a nap to do schoolwork later; to carry out all these same steps every day in a different order. In the latter case, it is very possible that some elements will be omitted or not carried out satisfactorily.
If you value articles like this, consider supporting us by becoming a Pro subscriber. Subscribers enjoy access to members-only articles, materials, and webinars.
Recommendation No. 2: How to give orders
A common comment from parents of children with ADHD is their poor obedience to the rules and instructions provided. One way to increase the chances of success when you want your child to do something is to follow these simple rules:
- Do not give more than one order at a time. It is preferable to wait for the completion of a task before presenting a new activity.
- Segment general demands. The indication <
> can be separated into < >. - Do not give instructions that may be ambiguous. Communicating “Be good at Grandma’s” can mean very different things to a child and an adult (even different adults). On the other hand, <
- Ask the child to repeat the given indication. This is a way to confirm that he has understood what is expected of him.
- We must avoid abusing <
> as a resource. It is always preferable to formulate statements in a positive way than in a negative way. Phrases like < > < >.
Recommendation No. 3: Find out what skills your child has and encourage them
Encouraging any natural abilities your child may have will increase self-esteem and feelings of efficacy, and will help parents focus on positive aspects of their child. If the child does not know what activities they like and in which they can perform well, they can be accompanied in discovering them.
Because people with ADHD often exhibit bad behaviors, it is very easy for us to lose sight of children’s positive aspects and instead focus on their weak points. Keeping the strengths in mind substantially changes the way we look at the little ones, and avoids having thoughts like “he likes to disobey and make me angry.”
It is very common for parents to try to modify the way their children behave by applying consequences that are temporally very distant from those appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. The child, on the one hand, may forget or lose sight of what consequence (good or bad) awaited him.
In turn, you may become frustrated by the time you have to wait to access it, even if it is something you highly want.
Instead of propositions like <
A small clarification, when talking about meeting the proposed objectives I am referring to those objectives that are achievable by the student, not those that the parents ideally aspire to. The constant and excessive pressure to perform more than one can usually ends up producing the opposite results to those expected. As an additional consequence, it produces stress and frustration not only in parents, but also in their children. This relates directly to the next point.
Recommendation No. 5: Focus on learning, not grades
Many adults have grown up with the conviction that the school grade reflects what they have learned, and that if not, at least it is the most important thing about going through school, since it is objectively reflected in documents and certificates. For a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, the pressure imposed to obtain good grades can be excessive, causing him to become frustrated and not only not obtain the expected results, but also not learn.
A slight adjustment in parents’ expectations about the academic journey will surely cause a decrease in the frustration felt by both children and their parents, and will enhance school learning.
Recommendation No. 6: Never criticize the person
This point is of vital importance for all actors. On the one hand, the child who is described as lazy, capricious, bad, etc., is permanently registering that significant adults observe this in him, which will affect his self-esteem and subsequent behavior. On the adult side, labeling the child in this way will generally leave them predisposed to pay attention to those behaviors that are in accordance with said perception, which influences a good relationship in the medium and long term.
Instead of stating that he is lazy because he didn’t pick up his toys from the floor, for example, it is better to highlight the request again, omitting all kinds of personal assessments. If observations are necessary, always make them on the behaviors rather than the subject.
Recommendation No. 7: Plan for potential conflict situations
If certain moments tend to repeatedly produce bad behavior on the part of the child, anticipating the situations, as well as what is expected from them, increases the chances of avoiding these bad moments.
Given the repeated situation of running around the supermarket shelves touching the products that are displayed, parents, before even leaving their house, can comment in a very concrete and clear way (as suggested in Recommendation 2), what specific behaviors they expect. of his son.
Recommendation No. 8: Do not try to address all problems at the same time
This is related to several of the points already addressed. If we start from the basis that it is preferable that there are clear guidelines, requested sequentially and not at the same time, and the preference for structure over chaos; Asking a child to stay still, be quiet, not to say bad words if he speaks, to constantly pay attention to what others are saying and to maintain, for example, a certain body posture, will be impossible to sustain.
The phrase “You have to choose which battles to fight” is perfectly applicable to these cases. You will always have to be attentive to all the problems that a person presents in each given situation, and in the face of them, establish which ones are a priority to address and which ones are not. It is necessary to take into account a series of elements when making these decisions, such as the severity (for oneself or third parties) that it presents, the impossibility of acquiring new skills, etc.; but always without losing sight of the fact that it is not possible to face all problematic situations at the same time.
Recommendation No. 9: Do not trust a professional who does not offer you a clear diagnosis
In the same way, do not trust professionals who use non-specific diagnoses or who do not follow current conventions, and use terms such as <
A professional who carries out good treatment must also provide the advice and psychoeducation necessary for effective treatment. As can be seen from all the recommendations seen so far, the functioning of the subjects is significantly affected by the context, whether in a material form (ordered environment for example), or interactionally. A therapist who only works with the child and does not suggest specific interventions to parents and teachers for the places and situations in which they operate, reduces their therapeutic effectiveness and places a weight on them that they probably cannot bear; by leaving him the task of being the only one responsible for changing his behavior.
Recommendation No. 10: Do not forget about yourselves as people
Due to the complexity of all the factors involved…